first ever squeeze page
- Thread starter vsaxena
- Start date
_swes_
BANNED
- Nov 4, 2012
- 59
- 17
Don't listen to the first guy. Take it from me. It sucks.
1) You need to offer benefits. Say how smoking could benefit you. Change your life, etc.
2) take out that arrow in the middle, or make the headline bigger - it distracts me, and I don't know what I'm getting into. (Remember you only have max 4 seconds to grab the reader's attention.)
3) Remember, benefits.
I could go on and on about this. But that's just a start, and it would drastically improve your copy.
1) You need to offer benefits. Say how smoking could benefit you. Change your life, etc.
2) take out that arrow in the middle, or make the headline bigger - it distracts me, and I don't know what I'm getting into. (Remember you only have max 4 seconds to grab the reader's attention.)
3) Remember, benefits.
I could go on and on about this. But that's just a start, and it would drastically improve your copy.
_swes_
BANNED
- Nov 4, 2012
- 59
- 17
Repost the edited version. I'll tell you it sucks some more and insist you rewrite it. Often times I'll go through about 20 rewrites before I get a first draft of my copy. Then it's more rewrites again. And again. Until it's short, concise, benefit ridden, and to the point. (You see what I just did there?)
It's optimizepress
QualityContentWriter
Junior Member
- Aug 24, 2012
- 151
- 77
I'm going to assume that the first point here is a typo, because I really hope it is. The advice is right about offering more benefits but that would be benefits to quitting smoking. Good luck finding convincing benefits to smoking!
So this is an ebook, great! Right off the bat you should talk about different methods of quitting smoking and why they suck. E-cigarettes, I hear the chemicals in those are even worse than the real thing and that a few people are suing major e-cig companies because the product exploded while they were puffing. (If you mention this, look up a credible resource. These are just rumors at this point.) Then there's cold turkey, cutting back, gum, patches, pills, etc. Be more specific and describe why they don't work. If possible, cite an actual paragraph from this book.
It does need more.
More benefits.
More proof.
More... value.
But less is more. You have the right concept... short, sweet, and simple. Keep it simple. Don't go for the lengthy sales letter on this one (<personal opinion!) but do add more value, more relevance, more proof...
So this is an ebook, great! Right off the bat you should talk about different methods of quitting smoking and why they suck. E-cigarettes, I hear the chemicals in those are even worse than the real thing and that a few people are suing major e-cig companies because the product exploded while they were puffing. (If you mention this, look up a credible resource. These are just rumors at this point.) Then there's cold turkey, cutting back, gum, patches, pills, etc. Be more specific and describe why they don't work. If possible, cite an actual paragraph from this book.
It does need more.
More benefits.
More proof.
More... value.
But less is more. You have the right concept... short, sweet, and simple. Keep it simple. Don't go for the lengthy sales letter on this one (<personal opinion!) but do add more value, more relevance, more proof...
_swes_
BANNED
- Nov 4, 2012
- 59
- 17
Typo? I think not. The benefits I'm talking about are the "dreams." Something that the reader hopes to achieve. Oh yeah, you could go simple and say "Quiut smoking so you become healthier."
Or you could go out and be unique...and say:
"Your family and friends would be very proud of you when you finally win that 50k marathon."
That right there is a tangible, and emotional benefit, and would convert way more than just saying the normal "be more healthy" benefit.
But to the OP. Just take a break and think about tangible reasons why someone should smoke. You'll figure it out.
Or you could go out and be unique...and say:
"Your family and friends would be very proud of you when you finally win that 50k marathon."
That right there is a tangible, and emotional benefit, and would convert way more than just saying the normal "be more healthy" benefit.
But to the OP. Just take a break and think about tangible reasons why someone should smoke. You'll figure it out.
Tangy
Regular Member
- Jul 31, 2012
- 237
- 82
This squeeze page is far too short and is lacking in any sort of content that will excite the reader to convert by supplying their details in your form.
Instead of offering you advice, I will suggest that you head over to http://unbounce.com and sign up for their free trial account. Take a look at their landing page templates for ideas, or ideally ditch what you're using and buy an account from them so you can promote your eBook with 10 or 20 different landers.
The name of the game is split-testing, my friend...
Instead of offering you advice, I will suggest that you head over to http://unbounce.com and sign up for their free trial account. Take a look at their landing page templates for ideas, or ideally ditch what you're using and buy an account from them so you can promote your eBook with 10 or 20 different landers.
The name of the game is split-testing, my friend...
QualityContentWriter
Junior Member
- Aug 24, 2012
- 151
- 77
Not to go off topic debating this, but you just proved my point that this was a typo. You said "say how smoking could benefit you" but you MEANT "say how QUITTING smoking could benefit you." That's all. (Then again, you do seem quite confused because your approach is pro smoking still. But I digress...)
The point is valid though, if you decide to turn this into a long form sales letter it's pretty standard to focus on benefits- not features.
But like I said before, I would stick with the short and sweet and simple. Rather than convincing somebody about the benefits of quitting smoking (which would be redundant in this case, obviously they want to and they are looking for HOW to quit) you might want to compare other methods- gum, patches, e-cigs, cold turkey, etc.
Don't get all hyped up... just name the common problems. Cause readers to associate their personal concerns and fears, highlighting the catches on why some methods don't work. Pull at the psychological heart strings, and subtly build value in the ebook but don't go overboard.
Keep it short, sweet, and simple and when you DO mention the benefits, keep it user oriented. (Example- "Quitting smoking helps you breathe better" vs. "After 2 weeks, you'll be able to walk up 3 flights of stairs without wheezing or gasping!" (Obviously the latter is better.) Benefits vs. Features is one element to consider in the content- which you do need more of, but not too much. Did I say keep it short, sweet, and simple? It's a good start
The point is valid though, if you decide to turn this into a long form sales letter it's pretty standard to focus on benefits- not features.
But like I said before, I would stick with the short and sweet and simple. Rather than convincing somebody about the benefits of quitting smoking (which would be redundant in this case, obviously they want to and they are looking for HOW to quit) you might want to compare other methods- gum, patches, e-cigs, cold turkey, etc.
Don't get all hyped up... just name the common problems. Cause readers to associate their personal concerns and fears, highlighting the catches on why some methods don't work. Pull at the psychological heart strings, and subtly build value in the ebook but don't go overboard.
Keep it short, sweet, and simple and when you DO mention the benefits, keep it user oriented. (Example- "Quitting smoking helps you breathe better" vs. "After 2 weeks, you'll be able to walk up 3 flights of stairs without wheezing or gasping!" (Obviously the latter is better.) Benefits vs. Features is one element to consider in the content- which you do need more of, but not too much. Did I say keep it short, sweet, and simple? It's a good start
Last edited:
fistor
Regular Member
- Feb 29, 2012
- 256
- 317
Lacks Information imo..
If there are 2 Different Types of Readers; the Ones that love to get the headliners quick, and immediatly purchase/leave; and then the Ones that love to read, before they actually purchase/leave; my humble opinion is.. Why not target both ?
You really should add Text at the Bottom for the Second group of Readers.
And maybe some more "Eye-Candy" for the first.
But that's just me.
If there are 2 Different Types of Readers; the Ones that love to get the headliners quick, and immediatly purchase/leave; and then the Ones that love to read, before they actually purchase/leave; my humble opinion is.. Why not target both ?
You really should add Text at the Bottom for the Second group of Readers.
And maybe some more "Eye-Candy" for the first.
But that's just me.
QualityContentWriter
Junior Member
- Aug 24, 2012
- 151
- 77
Also, the domain is misleading. Smoke Without Fear... not a major issue but I'm hoping that's what led to the confusion with swes.
khurramasgher
Registered Member
- Jun 24, 2012
- 56
- 73
Looks pretty good..maybe bring the bullet points up
futurestunner
BANNED
- Dec 26, 2009
- 1,531
- 1,043
download now
Code:
http://smokewithoutfear.com/PsychologyOfSmoking.pdf