Family problems

I‘m just sad.

It hurts so much to see my family get destroyed because of pointless conflicts and my inability to deal with the whole situation. We had a very happy family for many years and my childhood was very beautiful. 2 years ago my mum had a lover and she wanted to leave my family for him but she failed to do so. Ever since then my family life is filled with so many conflicts and pointless drama. My sister is just 17 years old and the last 2 years have been the worst of her life. My dad is very calm and I cannot remember a single conflict that he caused. My mum loves us, but she never ever listens and sometimes it feels like she only sees the negative in my dad. Now we‘re on holidays and about 2 hours ago we had a very intense conflict between my older sister of 31 years and my mum. I literally exploded and screamed at both of them as loud as I could and I caused pain to both of them. I cried for the first time in months and it just hurts me so much to see my family, something my dad dedicated the better part of his life to, get destroyed. My dad is the nicest person you can imagine. He only wants good and is always calm, even if someone talks bad about him for no reason. We all love each other, but we‘re all so hurt on the inside.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Your mom's a roastie.
You should get closer to your dad and let him know you appreciate him.

crivey said:

I‘m just sad.

It hurts so much to see my family get destroyed because of pointless conflicts and my inability to deal with the whole situation. We had a very happy family for many years and my childhood was very beautiful. 2 years ago my mum had a lover and she wanted to leave my family for him but she failed to do so. Ever since then my family life is filled with so many conflicts and pointless drama. My sister is just 17 years old and the last 2 years have been the worst of her life. My dad is very calm and I cannot remember a single conflict that he caused. My mum loves us, but she never ever listens and sometimes it feels like she only sees the negative in my dad. Now we‘re on holidays and about 2 hours ago we had a very intense conflict between my older sister of 31 years and my mum. I literally exploded and screamed at both of them as loud as I could and I caused pain to both of them. I cried for the first time in months and it just hurts me so much to see my family, something my dad dedicated the better part of his life to, get destroyed. My dad is the nicest person you can imagine. He only wants good and is always calm, even if someone talks bad about him for no reason. We all love each other, but we‘re all so hurt on the inside.

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Have you not got someone you trust outside of you immediate family that you could talk to? A grandparent, friend, local church etc

Sorry to hear that buddy, I heard a lot of good about people who listen to Jordan Peterson, he is a clinical psychologist and a lot of people thank him because he fixed the relationships in their family. I have no clue if that is of any help to you, but I listen to him, and men I will tell you his words are powerful.

I'm sorry to tell you but your mother is a hypertoxic person.
mudate alone and work for your dreams, you will be a really happy person.
"The people who love us most are often the ones who hurt us the most"

Sad sorry, I have lots of conflict with my wife, but still ok by miracle. Take it as an experience in growing up, and find another circle of friends/family to enjoy life a bit more I would say.

Don't choose between em, mate. They are both your parents and both deserves your love and understanding. it's just that we see things differently and everyone wanna be right all of the time. Sad but we can't escape it.

Sorry to hear that. Don't waste your time on trying to fix people - you'll get sucked in their own drama of life, trust me, your dad and older sister can take care of themselves.
They have their lives, they made their choices, it's not your problem, nor it is expected from you to solve them.

Do let know your 17y old sister that she is loved and appreciated, as young ones usually get fucked up in the end while older are trying to sort out their own mess.

watch this video completely
It can help you a lot!

You're mom is just not happy with being in this situation, shes probably staying together because of the kids (you guys)
You mention your dad is calm and nice - which is how you see it, maybe mom sees it as placid and unexciting.
Maybe she needs to be let free, sometimes staying together for the kids is the worst thing you can do.
Its Ok if a family physically splits up, it happens, they stay together in other ways. It really isnt the end of the world, life goes on and things adapt.

However I digress...


The best possible thing you could do is organise some form of proper communication, maybe some therapy sessions to help your mom and dad talk about future decisions. When someone is not happy and stays in a situation keeping them unhappy it can be really bad for everyone, so if you can open up some levels of more communication that would be great.

If you are really worried about this then stop sitting around and crying like a 5 year old and go on the interweb googles and dedicate weeks and weeks to researching how to help solve the situation, how to open up communication channels between your parents, how to organise group activities, etc etc etc
This is a massive task if thats the route you want to take, you would literally be putting your life and development on pause to fix someone elses (that someone else you are intrinsically connected to though so its kinda part of your life)

Or just post in a Black hat forum so IM pussies who don't know any better can say its ok and give you some sympathy.
Look I do get it,I've spent many days crying over much worse stuff with my family, and it was a waste of time, firstly it's impossible for you to know what is actually going on behind the scenes anyway, and instead use your precious energy for something positive either to fix this situation or to better your own situation, its ok to be sad for a short time but right after it you either need to forget it if its not worth it or find a solution if it is worth it.

But its really hard and would require massive patients on your part. Life can be really challenging, not just for you but for your mom or dad etc I am sure there is a lot more going on than meets the eye.

It does sound like its really gonna be hard on the 17 yr old as thats a pretty delicate age range, but like I said if you wanna do something do a lot of research, look for ways to help mom, ways to help dad, and defo ways to help 17 yr old sis, but I've said it a million times, it really is a lot of time and effort and work, or you could just be a bit upset for a few days and then forget about it till next time it happens.

I hope that gives you a bit more insight, rather than the one dimension you are in atm, and helps in whatever way it can

LOL dude I cud not pass this post D But your problems is really softcore, I'm really sorry and I think you did not seen what real problems.

Nearly 10 years back I had good family my father earned good money. My mother did not need to work, It whose decent old style family. Later his earnings shrinked mabie 5x times, or more. After 3 years my mother got cancer last stage, I needed to take care of her as my dad worked. I need to inject her morphine. In one years in big pain she dyed. When she who's dying I said her in ear "we will meet in better place one day" . I didn't had money, I did not had work, my dad started to drink and bring home sluts. We started arguing every day. I tried 3 times suicide. I started to drink as well.

But after one years, I started to learn IT after 3 years I started to earn money, now I`m living happy life and I forgot about old bad times.

Don't associate with people who drag you down. If you family is a source of troubles, spend as little time with it as possible. Exactly why did you have to be on holiday with them?

Kill them all.

crivey said:

I‘m just sad.

It hurts so much to see my family get destroyed because of pointless conflicts and my inability to deal with the whole situation. We had a very happy family for many years and my childhood was very beautiful. 2 years ago my mum had a lover and she wanted to leave my family for him but she failed to do so. Ever since then my family life is filled with so many conflicts and pointless drama. My sister is just 17 years old and the last 2 years have been the worst of her life. My dad is very calm and I cannot remember a single conflict that he caused. My mum loves us, but she never ever listens and sometimes it feels like she only sees the negative in my dad. Now we‘re on holidays and about 2 hours ago we had a very intense conflict between my older sister of 31 years and my mum. I literally exploded and screamed at both of them as loud as I could and I caused pain to both of them. I cried for the first time in months and it just hurts me so much to see my family, something my dad dedicated the better part of his life to, get destroyed. My dad is the nicest person you can imagine. He only wants good and is always calm, even if someone talks bad about him for no reason. We all love each other, but we‘re all so hurt on the inside.

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Basically there is only one advice i can give you on this situation: If someone treats you like you want to be treated then you give them the best present that you have, which is your time. If someone disrespects you and doesn't treat you like you want to be treated then you give them the gift of missing you. That is the only way that people can realize their mistakes.

You clearly sound like you are closer to your dad. I'm not telling you to choose between your parents but stick to him... meaning maintain a close relationship with your dad... share your feelings with him. And most important of all, what is your passion? pursue it with so much intensity that you fall in love with your passion. Trust me, it has saved so many lives. You can't control people outside of you... you just have to learn to adjust. In the mean time, make your own life... fall in love with your life and with what you do. That's the answer. Trust me.