Dealing with client suicide

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DarKappa

DarKappa

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So I do ORM for personal individuals and sometimes it can be a bit daunting to manage their emotions. These people get hounded by bad press and I just had a client kill himself leaving behind his wife and three kids because it was obvious he would never be able to find employment in his field ever again.

For what it's worth, it was because of his political views. Now I can't condone them but I don't know what to do for guys like him. I understand society wants to punish people but lifetime unemployment seems a bit harsh. I try to give time windows for results but apparently services like this do very thorough searches online nowadays: https://www.employrite.com/services-au/darkweb.cfm

so it might not much matter if it's on page 3: https://www.vice.com/en_in/article/evy8vz/social-media-vetting-process-future-employers

Not sure what to say. He wasn't a bad guy. Wish I could've done more.
 
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I think it is about mindset, perhaps your former client limits his mind to certain jobs, so once he loses it and unable to return he become hopeless. I suggest you open their mindset that there are much skill that can make you money. In my country, even a former pornstar/corruptor able to earn a proper job
 
He must have felt like everything was crumbling around him, that's the only real reason as to why I can see someone taking their lives (especially when he's got a family).

All you can do as a person is move forward and progress in life, but also take it as a lesson.

Don't let worldly demands determine how you live!
 
Suicide is not an option. Don't tell me, you don't know what is going on with them. I saw people in the worst conditions, they didn't quit. If you are that delicate, don't get in bad situations in the first place.

Feel bad for the family.
 
To be clear, you are IN NO WAY QUALIFIED to do anything but listen and guide unstable people to the help they need. Anything, otherwise, could do more harm than good.

If someone needs help, the best thing you can do is get them a professional.


Nut-Nights said:
Suicide is not an option. Don't tell me, you don't know what is going on with them. I saw people in the worst conditions, they didn't quit. If you are that delicate, don't get in bad situations in the first place.

Feel bad for the family.
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I’m not really convinced that empathy needs to be exclusive. Mental health is a key variable in cases like this, and rarely would healthy people take their life under extreme duress. We can’t really quantify the struggles other people go through, and attempting to qualify or disqualify them on arbitrary standards that we invent to fit a narrative we feel comfortable with seems a bit unreasonable.

I guess what I am saying is that I certainly feel for the family, for the individual, and for OP. I don’t see any value in denying empathy to anyone... we all have an infinite capacity for it and know so little about each persons personal wars.
 
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One of the questions I have, is there a point to ORM if employers are upping their game by doing ever more thorough searches? At some point that stuff is just not gonna go away, even if it is on page 5. What do you then? Hope a certain employer won't be as thorough?

If the advice is career change, than that changes the person's calculus on whether to take on ORM in the first place right. Like I want to be able to manage expectations here. It's hard for me to look at myself in the mirror when I tell these people this will help them when it won't and that the money they might spend on it could be better used as capital to start some other business or something. At the same time, it's hard to say "no guarantees of anything, even if it does work, you might still be unemployable"
 
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Life is hard. Life is tough.

Send the family a sympathy card and move on.

I'm not trying to be a c*nt just there is little to do in these situations. If you want to learn from it you could provide future clients informational material and contact numbers for suicide if they ever feel the need to talk etc - but provide that information as part of the package NOT as a off the cuff email!!!
 
He have to have pretty extreme political views in order to be in the press, and not be hired by anyone? I am sorry for the guy, but people have to understand that their actions have consequences...
 
AngelSeo said:
He have to have pretty extreme political views in order to be in the press, and not be hired by anyone? I am sorry for the guy, but people have to understand that their actions have consequences...
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Yeah I think I agree. They weren't violent but they were pretty bigoted views. I guess becoming unemployable might be the right sentence then, and I shouldn't feel too bad for him. He was a bad human being deep down, even if he didn't seem like it. Guess society is better off with him gone, he might've imparted his kids with his views if he was still around.
 
AngelSeo said:
He have to have pretty extreme political views in order to be in the press, and not be hired by anyone? I am sorry for the guy, but people have to understand that their actions have consequences...
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THE thing is what is "extreme" these days. It can be simply having a different opinion to your employer! The world is far to sensitive! What used to be extreme can now be classed as someone liking the letter A whereas everyone else likes B. It's all going loopy!

A bunch of people kicked off over poundlands tweet late last week because some felt it was oppressing women!

21905922-7763819-image-a-11_1575637423770.jpg
 
DarKappa said:
At some point that stuff is just not gonna go away, even if it is on page 5.
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I think it's simple. You don't promise them everything being reversed in their life. Of-course you can't do that. If the job is about taking a result off google, then tell them exactly what you are going to do. Also tell them that the result can vary case to case, which is true anyway.

Look, people are dying as we are speak; and it will continue to happen no mater what you do in your life. Do doctors quit because a patient can die?

If you are a professional, then be one; mentally. Also, if you notice a client replying in tone that you recognize as depression, advise the client to seek medical help. That's the least you could do for him/her.
 
DarKappa said:
So I do ORM for personal individuals and sometimes it can be a bit daunting to manage their emotions. These people get hounded by bad press and I just had a client kill himself leaving behind his wife and three kids because it was obvious he would never be able to find employment in his field ever again.

For what it's worth, it was because of his political views. Now I can't condone them but I don't know what to do for guys like him. I understand society wants to punish people but lifetime unemployment seems a bit harsh. I try to give time windows for results but apparently services like this do very thorough searches online nowadays: https://www.employrite.com/services-au/darkweb.cfm

so it might not much matter if it's on page 3: https://www.vice.com/en_in/article/evy8vz/social-media-vetting-process-future-employers

Not sure what to say. He wasn't a bad guy. Wish I could've done more.
Click to expand...

he could always change name
 
t2van said:
If you want to learn from it you could provide future clients informational material and contact numbers for suicide if they ever feel the need to talk etc - but provide that information as part of the package NOT as a off the cuff email!!!
Click to expand...

I think that suggestion is actually quite profound and astute. You’re providing solutions and I respect that.
 
t2van said:
THE thing is what is "extreme" these days. It can be simply having a different opinion to your employer! The world is far to sensitive! What used to be extreme can now be classed as someone liking the letter A whereas everyone else likes B. It's all going loopy!

A bunch of people kicked off over poundlands tweet late last week because some felt it was oppressing women!
Click to expand...

I agree with you but as much as we don't like to think about it, societies have always had "correct" ways of thinking and "incorrect" ("dissidents"), even if what those things are are always evolving. I'm old enough to have seen people fired for being openly homosexual, and now they're being fired for being openly anti-homosexual. In a single lifetime. I'm not even that old!
 
DarKappa said:
We spoke about that but HR forms always ask about that kind of information nowadays and they'll find out in their background checks.
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that must be some serious prestigious job. but i know what he felt as I was always a slave to my negative reputation.
 
hatfromthewilds said:
that must be some serious prestigious job
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Not at all. Almost all employers do employment history checks. In order to do that, they will find out the name you used to go by at your previous employers. Even very low-end jobs have this.
 
DarKappa said:
Not at all. Almost all employers do employment history checks. In order to do that, they will find out the name you used to go by at your previous employers. Even very low-end jobs have this.
Click to expand...
in USA or UK or both? what about european countries?
 
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