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Critique my squeeze page

Discussion in 'Making Money' started by NufcOnline, Apr 11, 2013.

  1. NufcOnline

    NufcOnline Newbie

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    http://www.habitzone.net.

    What do I need to improve?

    Thanks Joe
     
  2. TheMoneyWizard

    TheMoneyWizard Elite Member

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    Looks good, but I would change the header.
     
  3. Panther28

    Panther28 Elite Member

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    Smaller header, with bigger image text.

    Email box should be on the right, or middle, and where the hell is the giant flashing arrow pointing at the box?
     
  4. natmicon

    natmicon Newbie

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    You're off to a pretty good start, but since you asked for critique, I will be completely honest.

    • Header needs to be reworked. Make it smaller with either a proper logo or at least a better font. The image to the right needs to be better incorporated if you're going to keep it.
    • Line height on the large red text needs to be increased. For some reason, there's an inline style there but you can see where the lines are running into each other This looks very unprofessional. A margin on the bottom would help separate your content from the headline, too.
    • Take advantage of hover state for the signup button. It makes people want to click and it's a nice touch. Why not use a CSS button instead of an image?
    • Copywriting is pretty weak. There's some awkward phrasing in it ("...and receive a FREE PLAN on what you instantly need to begin doing") and it's not very persuasive. There's also several sentences that aren't even real sentences. Why should I listen to anything you have to say?
    • There's just a lot of weird stuff going on with the HTML code. Random inline styling, empty divs, etc etc. I'm not sure if this is what optimize press normally does or if you broke it somehow but it makes it very hard to edit the appearance of your website easily.
     
  5. NufcOnline

    NufcOnline Newbie

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    Thanks for the feedback everyone.

    1.2 suggestions for the header to be smaller. Is that because the focus should be on the opt in box?
    2.What's wrong with the font? I just tried to keep it simple. I have no knowledge in web design or HTML. Do you recommend me hiring someone to do my header for me?
    3.I had to search hover state to find out what it was haha. That's how clued up I am on the technical side.
    4.What do you mean by 'Sentences that aren't even real sentences'? I agree it might not be very persuasive, but I don't feel I have enough credentials to claim I've done anything special despite believing in what I do.
    5.In terms of HTML coding, I have no idea. Any problems I had setting it up (mainly with the header) I E-mailed Optimize Press and they sorted it.

    Cheers.
     
  6. jeremy evans

    jeremy evans Newbie

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    First, the title looks really weird, I would say you need more space between the 2 lines.
    Now to the text, you need to make it shorter and more accurate to what you are offering.
    As for the bullet points, no offense but they SUCK, they need to be changed. You probably have valuable information to offer, but if you don't make the potential subscriber aware of it, you're just wasting your time. So i guess you should change them with more accurate terms, and tell them exactly what they're getting, like instead of
    "Free plan to show you what you need to start..", you could try "Learn how to build positive habits."
    Finally, I would say that the last sentence " To get started...." needs to be shortened as well to something like " Sign up now and receive your free copy"
    Good luck, Don't hesitate to PM me if you have other questions.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2013
  7. ohhowen

    ohhowen Newbie

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    I could make a banner for you that's more appealing, add me on skype and ill show you some of my work...

    Skype: hatedlol
     
  8. thisismymp3

    thisismymp3 Power Member

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    i love black and white but this one seems kind of off..... the header doesn't flow into the body for me.
     
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  9. reinie

    reinie Elite Member

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    Good start, but not very engaging my friend. I need some brighter graphics telling me to take action. Maybe a better logo/header too
    ?
     
  10. Mr.Julyan

    Mr.Julyan Regular Member

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    Not convincing enough, more benefits will make the page more attractive
     
  11. NufcOnline

    NufcOnline Newbie

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    I took all your comments on board and made some changes.

    Let me know what you think.

    http://www.habitzone.net

    P.S Ohhowen I will add you on Skype and consider the header change.

    Joe
     
  12. qaqa2

    qaqa2 Registered Member

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    Great squeeze page but you have to add more text
     
  13. tomsko

    tomsko Regular Member

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    Reminds me of parked domain
     
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  14. sire243

    sire243 Regular Member

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    You don't need the header, and work on your copywriting.
     
  15. natmicon

    natmicon Newbie

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    Animated arrows like that just make your page look like it fell out of the 90s. Ouch!

    OK so on to the design... I downloaded an older free version of OptimizePress to see what's going on. Why aren't you using your theme admin panel properly? If you don't, you will get the weird HTML stuff going on and your site won't look as good as it could. You don't need your whole page in <strong>, either. The default template looks really nice so I don't understand how you got from that to this. Scroll down and find the headline options and use the actual headlines from the theme instead of making your own and it will look even better. Maybe you should watch the tutorial videos?
     
  16. ddederick

    ddederick Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Make some more value.

    I just went to Clickbank and searched for "habits".

    I've found this website thepowerofpositivehabits*com with quite good gravity.
    How is it different from your squeeze page?

    You have to write more specific benefits for your visitors. Actually, what will I get if I subscribe?
    Is it course, ebook, coaching... ? Tell them more and build some value. (better headline, benefits, testimonials that can be made
    on fiverr, etc etc)

    And.. of course.. include call to action. When I'm creating squeeze pages I put this on the main page: "This offer is available for first 100 only".. or something like this..

    Wish you success
     
  17. bertbaby

    bertbaby Elite Member

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    LOL and the reason why is the OP needs some compelling graphics perhaps some Infograph-like statistics to motivate the customer to action.
     
  18. sn0rt

    sn0rt Elite Member

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    There's no info on the page as far as what it's about. It just has a picture so I'll assume that it's about bodybuilding?
     
  19. Felicita

    Felicita Registered Member

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    Header is not OK imo. The only issue I guess.