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Criticism Wanted - ORM Sales Letter

Discussion in 'Offline Marketing' started by Ancillarium, Nov 11, 2014.

  1. Ancillarium

    Ancillarium Newbie

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    Hey all. Below is a sales letter I whipped up for ORM. It fits perfectly on to my company letterhead. I've never done this before so I'm looking for some feedback from those of you who have. Let me know what you think!

    Begin:
    Tuesday, November 11, 2014
    John Smith
    Acme Widget Corporation
    123 Anystreet
    Anytown, AA 11111

    Mr. Smith,

    I?m sure you?re quite busy, so I?ll be as direct as possible. I provide Online Reputation Management services to local businesses in <LOCALITY> ? and having done some initial research on your <BUSINESS TYPE>, I think you could benefit from what I have to offer.

    The attached negative reviews have been harvested from one or more established review sites that are trusted by consumers. I?ve highlighted and annotated a few of them to show you the seriousness of the situation. These reviews are very real, and you can validate their authenticity by conducting a quick internet search yourself.

    Research indicates that most internet users look at reviews online before even setting foot in a brick-and-mortar location, and the vast majority of these users trust customer reviews over ?expert? reviews. <BUSINESS NAME> is no exception, and individuals looking for <BUSINESS TYPE>?s here in <CITY> will be checking your ratings (and those of your competitors).

    Your company?s lowest score is from <LOWEST REVIEW SITE> with a <RATING> out of 5 star rating. Your business averages <AVERAGE> across several sites. It may surprise you to know that XX <BUSINESS TYPE's> in your area have a higher rating than <BUSINESS NAME>!

    Honestly and impartially ask yourself ? if you just moved to the area and were looking for a good <BUSINESS TYPE> and you were relying solely on online reviews to guide you, which business would you choose? The simple fact is that most satisfied customers will not leave a review unless prompted, whereas dissatisfied or disgruntled customers are all too happy to leave scathing remarks online. This, combined with unscrupulous competitors posting false complaints often leads to a disproportionate number of bad reviews that can soil the reputation of a good company like yours.

    What I?m offering is a simple, elegant, and legitimate solution to leverage your existing happy customers and improve your image online ? while simultaneously offering you the chance to recover customers who have had bad experiences. Please review the enclosed materials and give me a call or send me an email at your earliest convenience. My personal cell number is (XXX) XXX-XXXX, and my email is (email). You can also learn more about our service and the importance of reputation management in general here: <link>. Let?s get this fixed!

    -Name/Signature

    END

    Thoughts?
     
  2. meinewelt

    meinewelt Junior Member

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    I like it. I would not say "good company like yours." because it does not sound honest, you dont know them but just ending that sentence with "good company." is great.

    And in the end i would already go for a close with a price, but thats just me I like fast closes.
     
  3. Ancillarium

    Ancillarium Newbie

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    Good point, I actually added "like yours" later. In retrospect it does sound cheesy.