can relationship hurt a soul this Much?

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My advice is to breathe and let go of your expectations for this other human being. Let them be who they are and be open to that. Respect peoples boundaries and set up some healthy ones for yourself.

Don't pick a rose/fruit before it has time to ripen. That goes for yourself, women, and relationships in general. Focus on friendship and really getting to know the person. How can you possibly love someone you barely know?

Warning: The following is my own view & my own personal philopsychologic dogmatic nutrition. Consume it at your own risk.

Women can be powerful role models and reflectors of the anima (feminine side of a man). Carl Jung has some great theories about this if you are interested in understanding the attraction beyond biological-sexual attractions (or needs). The main point though is that there is a difference between what/who the woman is and the reflection you have of yourself that you see in her. This is vital to understand when having a relationship with a woman, as you allow more freedom for both parties. No one likes being a puppet.

Best wishes to your health and happiness.

-RaBit
 
W130SN said:
OK. in that case I am sorry that I was flippant with my remark.

You sound young. I am an old man.
The feelings you are going through are natural and everybody goes through them, although not easy you will come through stronger.
Years from now, you will look back and smile.

If she doesn't have the same feelings then there is nothing you can do but be a good guy. Tell her you will be there for her if she ever needs you.

Don't try to be friends with her on the off chance that she will reconsider as it will really break your heart when she starts dating another guy.

Try to expand your social circle and also keep in my mind that while you are pining for this girl there may be another right under your nose that has the same feelings for you.

Good Luck
Click to expand...

Great advice by the way.
 
Man I've been through all this shit and here is my advice to you...FUCK THAT BITCH don't call her anymore, if she calls you don't pick up. Be a MAN! You don't want to be this pussy guy that does whatever a girl asks you.. Do you know there is more pussy on earth then there is water?? Trust me the best way to get over a girl/breakup/relationship is to fuck other bitches.
 
Sorry brah, but you have no game.

You made your move too fast. You need to take it slow with these girls.... take time to get to know them and understand them and for them to get to know you and understand you and most importantly BE COMFORTABLE around you. This can be done quickly (i.e min. or hours) but only if you know what you are doing. It's like baking a cake, there are some steps you need to follow to get the cake to come out just right.

Its awkward to have someone you don't even know say they love you....

man you need to learn to play it cool.

Good read some books on PUA or something.

You never attracted her, you just went for the kill.
 
I'm sorry OP. Everyone gets their heart broken by someone and everyone has had that one friend they liked but feelings weren't mutual. Anyways, my advice is to just smoke a blunt and say fuck it. If this was me, I'd do the following:

1. Go to the gym and workout
2. Go make some money

Pretty much do things that will better you as a person.

Girls come and go. Go make some new friends, you'll probably find a girl or two that you'll "love" just as much as this one.
I only skimmed your post but it seems like you caught feelings quite quickly. IDK where u from or how old u are or what point you are in life, but stop trying to find love and just better yourself as a person. Bitches come and go.
 
This may shock you:
You may be infatuated and not really in love....

Answer this to yourself:

Was this "relationship" ever developing into something more than a friendship from her side? No... She was never in love with you. May be, a good friend, yes, but certainly there is no love (the way you want it) from her side.

Now the hard answer is, you aren't in love with her. You are only infatuated which is different from being in true love. Such infatuation doesn't develop into anything more special in life if you aren't able to change yourself quickly from being infatuated into being in love. It comes with passage of time... Obviously, you are not going to wait for patiently and lovingly and see what happens, while you also build a very special attitude towards her secretly, AND without allowing her to think that you're taking advantage of her present feeling of friendliness (ONLY) towards you.

If you build that special relationship over the time while being very friendly with her, then she will notice your special feeling on her own when, time and again, she is subconsciously forced into comparing you with others, and you shall begin to get noticed and a love begins to develop over the friendship layer. It's like blooming of a rose, you see.

You want it too fast... you want it -- like yesterday --- you're possibly too impatient imo.

Love is unconditional by nature... you want her ONLY as a lover and not as a friend if she wants it that way... not the way a true love can usually develop between such two people, because one party doesn't have time to wait and see if other heart can be won over to decide to share the life together, or to remain great friends even if the other person shares it with someone else.

You are too blinded with your own feelings and you don't see that she, despite the fact that she doesn't love you, still cares in a way for you, but you are too inflexible and want her ONLY as a lover and not as a friend, and aren't of course wanting to wait a while and truly become more lovable in her eyes.

Understand that at present your love for her is only a one-way traffic. You may still be able to convert it into a two-way, but you'll need to do a lot more positively, and it definitely will take some more time, patience, and real self-development...

May be, you wouldn't like this analysis but this could be the truth anyway.

Also see:
Google:
infatuation symptoms

And,
Code: 
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Infatuation_vs_Love

There are better web pages than the above link for studying more on the topic, of course.


HTH

Wishing that you find a great soul mate in future who may not be the one that you desire now, but the one who would be 100% ideal for you in everything that matters. Be patient in waiting for her and develop yourself more so that she too gets a 100% ideal man to share her great life with. Then you'll know what a really loving relationship actually is! Good luck!
 
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Some of you guys are giving a very bad advice by saying that slowly he can re-build trust, friendship and love. That's complete bullshit and it won't ever work. Unless the goal is to get in the friend zone.

OP - just forget about this girl, it wont happen with her. You builded toooo many spam backlinks (tellign her you love her, like her, admire her, etc.), so it wont rank. Ever.
 
I am guessing this is the first time you've had strong feelings for a girl? You just need to learn to let it be, it is what it is. You have to teach yourself to not get to involved and not have so many feelings riding on the outcome. Instead, you need to learn to enjoy the chase and know at the start that whatever happens, you'll be happy with the result. Life is too short to be moping over girls. Keywords are so much easier to chase than girls, although the outcome can be much more devastating.
 
Did you ever stop to breathe when speaking to her? Don't let it get to you dude. Girls are tedious and more nonsensical than normal as teenagers, which I'm assuming she is.

Find someone with big boobs, buy her lots of crap. When you get bored, move on to the next one. No more sadness and heartache.
 
2DHades said:
Some of you guys are giving a very bad advice by saying that slowly he can re-build trust, friendship and love. That's complete bullshit and it won't ever work. Unless the goal is to get in the friend zone.

OP - just forget about this girl, it wont happen with her. You builded toooo many spam backlinks (tellign her you love her, like her, admire her, etc.), so it wont rank. Ever.
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It's not that simple! There is a cultural point of view. If OP originates from the Eastern hemisphere of this world, chiefly from Asia, then the way he and that girl acted are normal up to a point.

In these parts of the world, it's not bang, bang, bang... it's building trust, creating personalities, going through silent love initially, building up friendship, group, having patience, to wait, to ponder, to ask others' opinion, to get others' - especially elders' - involvement, (more so for the girl than the boy) and all this takes time unlike the usual western approach. Guys here do get more carried away now-a-days and are hasty in approach, but most of the girls don't usually go out on date immediately and begin kissing petting etc. So it's a different perspective and is not complete BS. And, it still works that way for both genders. The wait, and the building of a long-term serious relationship still works wonderfully in most of these parts of the world.

You need to go to these countries and study the cultural and moral beliefs, dogmas, and values that majority of people still observe consciously and subconsciously... and their centuries-old effects exist in a concrete way, on societies in general. It's still that way in most of these parts. In the western parts of this globe, the world has moved on to may be a more faster life-style than the eastern part.

P.S.:
More importantly, a girl from this region usually won't show her soft feelings (love, for example) towards a guy in early stages even if she has fallen in love at first sight. She will be shy, will take time, will be a good friend first if she can have free access to the guy, and will very slowly open up -- display her feelings passively.

I don't think that even if the girl, if she is from such a country and has such a cultural background, has soft feelings for OP (beyond what she actually openly displayed), she would have gone ahead and given him all the signals to go ahead in his (good) motives. IMO, she would still act the same way that she has... :)
 
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Didn't read the OP thread, but if it is something about girl.

Then:

1. Take a Vacation for a Month.
2. Don't contact anyone just chill.
3. Hang out with some ladies and by ladies i don't mean (H00k**s & Pros****es)
4. Explore mother nature.
5. Do Mountain climbing or bungee jumping and sh!t.
6. Come back after vaction, get rid of your gf, get a new one and start working to earn some more $$$$$.
7.Don't get emotionally attached to someone unless you have a ring for someone to give.
8. Enjoy Life............
 
2DHades said:
Ok mate, you will hardly find anyone on these forums to talk about this, but yet I have some free time.

First of all please learn some English grammar, and put some freaking points and commas. Also don't use that ugly color, my eyes are bleeding, lol... (Not that my grammar is perfect, but I try...)

So, here is how male brain works. Imagine you are in an empty room that has nothing, but 20 monitors in it. This room is the part of your brain that likes women. As you are currently so much in love with this 1 girl, that all the monitors are showing this very same girl. This is making you retarded. And yes I mean a social invalid that can't make a phone call without feeling awkward. In order to fall out of love with this girl, you will have to fill these monitors with DIFFERENT girls. That's right, this is the only 100% working way. Just find some other girls to chase. OetherS, that means more than just 1, and you will be fine. Been there, done that.

As long as all the monitors are showing the same girl, you wont fall out of love. Find some new girls and fill your monitors with as many girls as possible. As soon as you get 3-4+ different girls you will stop CARE at all about what you are talking, how do you behave, etc. This will help you to act normal, and not like a retarded 13 years old virgin looser.

Telling her that she is the most beautiful girl and you love her over the phone is probably the biggest mistake you can ever make. Don't get me wrong, you can't tell her this if you meet in person as well. You just can't tell her how beautiful she is, she probably already knows that. Of course you can say that she looks pretty for your date, but never say that she is the most beautiful girl you met (srsly WTF?!). NEVER. PERIOD.

I guess she might be really beautiful, which makes it logical that SHE KNOWS she is hot. Pointing the obvious will not make her fall in love with you. Almost exclusively. Perhaps there were tens of other guys telling her how beautiful she is, and by stating this, you are in no way distinguishing from the others. Crazy as it sounds, girls DO NOT want you to tell them how beautiful they are, to give them flowers, and to be super nice and gentle with them. There are plenty of losers already doing this, just to bump her ego. And this is exactly what this girl used you for. Don't be ashamed, and don't take this personally, just enter the real world.

Yet if you ask a girl "What do you want from a man?" She will most likely respond: "I want him to be charming, to be nice with me, to treat me well, to spoil me, to give me flowers, to be romantic, to tell me how beautiful I am, yada yada..."

A FUCKING BULLSHIT!!! SHOCKING, yeah?! Following this strategy of being the nice guy is probably the fastest line to the friend zone, in which you already are (No, there is no chance you can get out, It's too late now). I can't explain why every girl will actually say they are looking for a nice guy, when in fact they aren't. Being the nice guy is a good strategy once you have found the love of your live, and you already live together, or things are becoming pretty serious. Of course you will be the nice guy for a girl you want to spend the rest of your live with, but in the beginning you can't get her on by being the nice guy. Yet, the nice guy is the worst strategy to get her to like you, or to get in her panties. I expect some BHW female members to even argue with me, but this is an open forum where everybody shares his opinion. This is my opinion.

So, you don't have to be the nice guy. Never. It just won't work to get her to like you or just sleep with you. Of course there are exceptions, especially with girls who haven't got many boyfriends in the past, this is where the nice guy strategy might work. But most of the time for hot chicks it will almost certainly fail.

Again, don't take me wrong - you don't have to be the jerk, badass who is making her cry or anything. This also works, but there is a middle stage that really do wonders. I call this middle stage being a MANLY MAN.

If you go back in time, man were the hunters, who were hunting wild animals and feeding the whole tribe. Do you think that a real hunter who is killing wild animals on daily basis will go and cry about a girl, and telling her how beautiful she is? No! He is going to her, saying "I WANT YOU", because this is what he wants and he knows that. He doesn't have to be romantic or anything, he is just choosing her. This is MANLY. Do you think the hunter will go and write poems for her? Or maybe get her flowers every time they meet? No! Manly mans do not write poems, songs, make hours of call phones just to tell her how beautiful she is. No, no no... They call her on the phone and ask for a date. This is how you tell a girl you like her.

So once again - what women want from a man? They want a Manly man. Simple as that. If you ask what man want from women? Simple... man like feminine women... WOAH!

The booty call: "Hi there, would you like to go out with me to ...do something...?" So, you don't have to state the obvious that you like her. By calling her and asking her out, you make it pretty clear that you want her, and she knows that. If she puts her bitch shield up and ask "Who else is coming?" just respond as a MANLY MAN who likes girls. "Nobody else, just me and you on a date, you dumb bitch!". :D

Ok, forget about the "dumb bitch" part, but I guess you got it right. You are a man who is expressing his wishes, because this is what man do. If man like something he is ACTING in order to get what he WANTS. Writing poems, talking with her for hours on the phone is exactly like being a hunter who goes to the deer and ask her to come and suicide, so he doesn't have to kill her. Ridicolous, right?

That being said, you have to become a manly man. Start acting like a man, who wants something and ACT to get what he wants. This is what man do. Change your walking to appear as manly as possible, train your voice to become deeper, train 3 times a week (no need to become Mr. Muscle), enjoy your life because you are a man who gets what he wants. Don't be a pussy talking on the phone for hours, this is what women do. Leave the talking to them, this is women's strength.

If she sees a manly man, she will have to make sure that you are an actual man. This is the casual bitch testing. You might ask her to do something, and she will try to make you do something different, just so it happens her way. Don't let this happen. Learn to say a freaking "NO!". You are the man, you pick whatever you want, you do whatever you want, you fuck whoever you want. You will be amazed but the easiest way to get super hot girls is by saying NO to pretty much anything. Super hot chicks almost never get a NO for an answer, especially fro man. Saying NO to anything will make her wet, true story.

Real life experience: One of my hottest real life female friends once asked me for a lighter. I gave her my lighter, so she can light up her cigarrete, and she really liked the lighter as it was shining in the dark or something. This lighter costed me less than $1. So she asked me to give her the lighter. "-Whaaat? I would NEVER EVER give my lighter, get your own...lol". She asked me again several times, then she started begging me to give her the stupid lighter. No, no, no, and no. This super-hot girl started hugging me and asking me what do I want from her in order to give her the lighter (Here you have to stay calm and say there is LITERALLY NOTHING she could EVER do to make me give her the freaking lighter. O yeah, this drove her crazy as she was almost kissing me at this moment... and I was STONE COLD serious about my intentions not to give her the lighter). She knew that the lighter was a cheap one, yet she really wanted it. Why? Because nobody, especially other man, never refused anything to her. At this point she didn't want the lighter, she just wanted to hear yes and get what she wants, because she is a super-hot girls and other man would kill to give her a present or something, so she could be happier. I guess I was one of the first to refuse something to her... and that something was a stupid freaking ligther, haha. Long story short I banged her so hard, she will never forget. I also didn't gave her the lighter, yeah!

One more piece of advice - when you take her out, better go for an "action" date where you guys are supposed to do something, instead of talking. Talking is women's strength. Acting is man's strength. So, take her out to play some bawling, pool, or even climbing a mountain. If you get her on a dinner where you have to talk a lot you will be screwed, unless you get better.

Hope this helps.

Regarding this very same girl. Here is what you do. Your chances are currently below zero. Trust me, I know. Wait 7-8 days and call the bitch on the phone. The call duration cant be more than 45 seconds. Simply ask her out on a date. She will most likely refuse. Tell her you appologize for your earlier dumb behaviour and you tried to follow your friend's advice and tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her that she is not actually that beautiful and there are plenty of better girls you see everyday, but you only said this because your friend gave you this advice. Say sorry that you lied to her, and that you really wanted just to sleep with her as you find her very hot and you think she would be a nasty girl, but after the past 7 days you realized this was the wrong approach. Tell her that it doesn't matter now, because you realized your dumb mistake to play someone you are not. Without saying anything else wish her good luck in life, and appologize for trying to use her. Then hang up the freaking phone.
She might bite this and call you back, agreeing to meet you. Or she might not. It doesn't really matter, because you already blew your chances with a big trompet.

And seriously dude, where are you in the SERPs????
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Write a guide and sell it as a WSO. No, really.
 
Bestcreaters said:
As of this thrade is open i just got off the phone with my friend, she was a girl i really like i saw her and asked a friend for her number a week Ago. when i called her i explain to her that i liked her she said what kind of like as a friend? i said No not really as a friend this where her words,reply (hmmmmm....slient for some minutes and she said oky Accepted), i was happy we called for hours daily 3-5 hrs i always end the call with good night sweet dreams i have always tell her through out the call that she was the most beautifull girl i have ever seen but today i told her again that i liked her remember i told her the first time we meet......she was really suprise and every thing became awkward she couldnt even speak to me she acted as if the first time i said it to her and i could feel blood rushing from my vains to my heart i thought for a sec maybe i didn't make that clear to her but sadly she was soo confuse that i could here her almost crying she kept saying now am shy of you,am not comfortable speaking with you your so smart to do this i was so Sad to think i played a trik on her and she told me that she will give me a call tommorow to give me her reply i knew she did that to end the Awkward call between Us she was nice and told me to please sleep and never think of this during sleep i am now lost in darkness of the so call relationship i wanted which has dycryted a wall of emotions in my heart and created a space for agony and pain to my soul ,i cant be her friend i love her so much and it will really break my heart if she says No but the sad thing is i cant be her friend if she ask me to because that feeling will always be there what should i do am so LOST,
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Teenage syndrome.
 
Never ever idealize a woman. Almost always they are worse and more cruel, dishonest and devious persons than an average man, no matter how angel-like they seem to appear. Sorry, but it's true. Women always were physically weaker than men, and this is what evolution does when weaker persons try to survive in the same group with stronger persons. Remember, all girls are the same, there's much less difference between them than between men. "The number one mistake girls do is that they think that all the men are the same. The number one mistake men do is that they think that girls are different". Your passion is not different, believe me. You'll see it yourself with experience.

Remember, a girl may look stunningly beautiful to you, but it's just in your eyes, and in a year you will wonder wtf you was thinking year ago.

You may probably get swayed for a while from hate to wish to fall on your knees and beg and back. There's a cure:

1. Do not contact her. Make it so that you will not know if she tries to contact you or not. Delete her from your friends in Facebook, change your mobile number etc. Delete her photos, phone numbers etc. Don't talk with friends about her. No news at all about her. 100% information blockade. This is the most vital point.

2. Change your look. If you're used to wear suits be more sporty. If you used to t-shirts and jeans, change this to more formal suit with a tie. Do visit a good clothes shop and spend your money on stylish and expensive clothes. Buy good cologne. Visit an expensive beauty beauty salon and change your hair style. You must like yourself.

3. Sport. Do it. Swimming, cycling etc are the best activities.

4. Do not drink alcohol. You may have a pint or a shot with your friends in a bar, but do not become drunk. Alcohol is one of the strongest depressants, it turns you in self-pitying piece of shit.

5. Whatever shitty you may feel you must shine with happiness to other people around you. Be a man.

6. Do not allow yourself to feel sad. Start feeling sad? Go have a 3km run.

7. As most men you must have something to be passionate about. Hobbies, money making etc. Find yourself something interesting and useful (money, self-development уес) to do.

8. Do not fall in love with other girls. You may fuck them, but do not fall in love for a while. Sometimes prostitutes are the best tbh.


When you do all these things it takes up to a year to forget a woman you've been living with for years, for example after divorce. Your case is way simpler, it will take a month or two. Than you will have a clear mind and with clean ming you will be able to decide if you want to continue relations with her or not.
 
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FuryKyle said:
Write a guide and sell it as a WSO. No, really.
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Haha thanks mate, it's good that some people here appreciate my thoughts! :)


As Bartholomew said - Don't EVER idealize a women. It's the same as you never tell her how beautiful she is and how badly you want her. As already said - there are enough loosers alerady doing this.

Regarding Srb888 post. First I want to thank you for the polite tone of your message, which is awesome. Secondly, I have never been in Asia unfortunately, so what you are saying might be true. I have heard many people recommend the very same approach, and I know it works for some, but for me it never worked. And yeah I was a looser once too. Also culture might be different, but when we speak about hot chicks, I recommend you to go as manly as you can possibly be. Women will be always attracted more to a manly man, rather than somebody who is idealizing her/writing poems/etc.
It's really simple nature "law". Women like manly mans, man like feminine women. This is the first and most important thing to know about attraction. It doesn't really matter if you are tall, fat, blonde or atheist... you have to be manly/feminine in order to get more of the opposite sex attention.
 
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