Biggest noob ever looking for somewhere to start, anyone willing to help?

Hello everyone, I am new to this site, and this is my first post.
Like I said, I'm an absolute noob and I don't claim to be anything else, that's why I'm asking these questions, so please try not to make fun of me too badly because at least I'm admitting it up front...
I've been reading multiple forum posts and while I'm fascinated and intrigued by the idea of generating income in various ways from building and/or flipping websites, using ppc, ppv, or ppd methods, adsense, and various other topics that have been mentioned, I do not understand how to "get started" so to speak with any of this, in a way that wouldn't be setting myself up for failure.
I am also curious how long it takes to learn about SEO and where to do so, because as I've read a couple of posts I've realized I don't even understand some the terminology related to all of this, like proxies, linkbacks, etc.
I have three kids and I'm just tired of having someone be my boss and determine my schedule for me. Once I get a basic idea of how something works I can usually figure it out. I'm not as dumb as it seems, I just literally have zero experience with all of this.
Any help and/or guidance would be much appreciated from any and all of you smart and more experienced people who don't mind helping someone who's trying to start something new.
Thanks!

Do you know how to obtain experience? Nobody will give you experience. We are entrepreneurs and experiences cost us a lot.

this may help you out:

Welcome around!

Lots of people will help you out, but don't expect to spoonfeed you

For a starting guide.. What are your skills and do you have any interest in some are in which you would like to start?

You can read and learn as much as you want in life. But if you don't take action then you will stay where you are.

Failure is just the negative part of this action we take and is what we as humans tend to notice more.

But if you take time to analyze that failure you begin to learn to adapt methods so you eventually see success!

Go through the list Leith put together and pick the one and learn. It takes time and failures to really learn. But you are at the right place to start.
http://www.blackhatworld.com/blackhat-seo/making-money/414963-ready-make-money-dont-know-where-start-look-inside.html#post3947668

Good luck on your journey!

If you ask specific questions you will often get help.

Bigmold said:

I do not understand how to "get started" so to speak with any of this, in a way that wouldn't be setting myself up for failure.

Click to expand...

That's your problem. Accept the fact that you WILL fail...at first. Pick a method that intrigues you, learn about it for a couple of days and then start TAKING ACTION for the next 4 weeks. If you utterly "fail" and earn nothing after 4 weeks, guess what, you just earned a tremendous amount of experience. You will be able to tweak the method as you learn more about it, or if after 4 weeks you feel your efforts are better spent elsewhere, then try another method. The most important things are experience and persistence. So I strongly advise you to stick with any method you choose for at least 4 weeks.
Ask questions about specific methods/implementation, and we will assist, but only you can help yourself "get started"

Welcome to the great forum but has you asked any help fom us remember that search it and have a look at it first.

thanks

Bull$hit! Biggest noobs are on WF. You already surpass that stage by having balls to sign up to this "bad hood". Most people are like uuuhh blackhat is bad, it's illegal, you're go to hell etc... j/k

On a serious note, whatever terminology you don't know it usually is best to search google. As i'm not native english speaking i often come across to some unknown word. What i do is highlight the word and search it, like what is linkback, linkback meaning etc. When you learn what are proxies and what are they useful for, along the way you'll learn many other things. Same as other stuff you don't know.

Not saying you don't know these things in theory, just pointing out it's absolute the best way of learning. Prepare to discover amazing stuff in IM (what is IM?), but also try not to be carried away by big numbers as you may get discouraged if you don't reach your unrealistic goal.

I'm also new here and don't have reputation stars but my advice would be - always read between the lines