Bad friends or no friends?

ButcherPete said:

For those who say a "bad friend" doesn't exist... I think I have an example.

I went to school with this guy. We became friends. We were actually good friends for a while. We'd hang out, help each other out with problems, and always invite each other when we had parties or something. We graduated from high school and drifted apart a little, because that was really where we saw each other the most. This guy would call me from time to time and ask for a ride somewhere, and I'd give it to him because he was an old buddy of mine. Occasionally, I'd ask him if he would swing by the liquor store for me, because he was of legal drinking age and I wasn't.

It was around this time that I think he switched over to the bad friend side of things. He started hanging out at my place a lot more. He'd bring some unsavory characters with him, but he'd assure me they were "alright." I trusted him. Around this time, I'd notice small sums of money and little items missing from my apartment. I had a habit of coming home from work and emptying my pockets right on my desk, which usually included spare cash and change. After a while, I noticed that when this guy was over and I'd go use the bathroom or something, the money would always be gone. I had a very nice Zippo lighter laying around, which went missing also, as well as other small items of value.

One time he came over with a fellow scumbag friend of his (I thought they were both OK) and I showed them my gun collection. I later found out that they were plotting to steal my AK-47, and use it for god knows what. They often brought this girl over, and me and her hooked up a lot. In hindsight, I believe that they purposely brought her as a distraction to get me and her out of the room, so they could steal stuff from me.

But this whole time, he was acting like he was my best friend. I'd confide in him about my problems, all that... If I ever mentioned that I was missing cash or little valuable things of mine, he blamed the stealing on that girl that he'd bring over. I wanted to know for sure who was doing the stealing, though. So I came up with this little scheme. I obtained a $100 bill. I left it on the coffee table and waited for him to come over. One evening, he showed up. We talked for a bit, and I went to use the restroom (making sure the $100 bill was on the table) Not surprisingly, I came back and it was gone. I pointed it out. He feigned ignorance. He helped me look for it for 10 minutes. I pulled a 9mm pistol out of my pocket and pointed it straight at him. I told him that I know he has been stealing from me for months, and told him never to come back and never to contact me again. He freaked out a little, said I was crazy and walked out the door. I never saw him again.

I know it was irrational and very dangerous to pull a gun on him, but I was mad. Anyway, he never attempted to contact me again, so I'm satisfied. So that's my story of a bad friend.

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Dan Da Man said:

Well, I don't know if I would want to be your friend either. What if I call you fat? You gna pull a gun on me?

What I have learned is that not all these bad friends are neccessarily bad. For most of my past friends didn't mean bad, but they cared solely about themselves. Consumed in their egotistic ways these people did not know how to be a friend. So for those of us who are sensitive and caring, we treat those how we want to be treated. Not saying that I am perfect but I would expect the same friendship that I give to someone else. 9 out of 10 most people won't give me that. It is very upsetting and no I will not settle.

People are selfish. I mean we are all selfish but I would do almost anything for someone who is there for me. Really, besides my mom, my dog and my brother I have yet to find any good people. Decent people who care soley for themselves will ditch you and screw you over if it means an advancement for them whether it is a better life, better friends or whatever.

Fuck friends. I got a mom that does more than 10 best friends could do and I guess that is more than most. Appreciate what you have and forget what you don't.

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ButcherPete said:

Well (thankfully) that's the first and only time I've pointed a gun at anyone.

I'm not a perfect person, I know, but I've never been a prick to someone who didn't deserve it. My main problem with that guy was that he pretended to be my friend the entire time. He lied to me. He listened to my problems and fed me false words of encouragement, and all the while he was waiting for me to step out of the room so he could steal a few dollars that were sitting on my desk.

This is how I see it: it doesn't matter if he means well or if he just "doesn't know how to be a friend"... The fact is, he made the wrong decision (to decieve and steal from someone under the pretenses of being a friend) I let him know, in no uncertain terms, that he did the wrong thing. How else will he learn? I could have patted him on the back and said "I understand that you had a rough childhood and you don't know any better." But he'll just take advantage of that and go on doing the same thing to me as well as other people.

I have a few close friends who I think are genuinely good people to me. They have had many opportunities to screw me over and they didn't (not to mention, I can leave money on my desk and when I come back from taking a whiz, it's still there)

Like I said... I'm not a shining example of a human being. I have faults. I make mistakes. But I believe in justice. If someone is good to me, I am good right back. And likewise, if someone is a prick to me, I am a prick to them 10 times as bad. And I can be a pretty big prick if I want (but I don't like to... I'd rather be nice)

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Dan Da Man said:

Yeah man I know how you feel. To put so much trust into that person and to have them manipulate you into thinking you guys were really close and then to go behind you back to steal from you hurts. Pointing a gun might be a little far but we all have buttons and I too would have flipped out.

People like this are everywhere. As you come more into contact with these types of manipulating pieces of shits, you are better able to recognize them and take a more preemptive approach. Especially for us who work from home, we don't have a huge number of options to meet tons of people therefore we are more prone to let these shitty people in our lives.

Trust me, I have had very similar situations and still till this day do i not forgive those people who wronged me.

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