Hey Sheila, (I've changed the name for privacy reasons)
Hope you had a fantastic weekend!
After having read your last email, gone through my notes that I took during our Skype chats and had another look at your product, I've decided that I have to pass on this opportunity to help you out with your sales letter.
Here's why:
1. Your product is rubbish.
I'm not going to apologise for being straightforward. You knew this before you contacted me and odds are that this is one of the reasons why you wanted me to write your copy.
Simply put - your product is crap. Not only does it not solve any problems or offer anything remotely new, unique or useful, but it doesn't even follow the main principles of e-training products. It's not a step by step guide, it doesn't have flow, it doesn't reflect your personal experiences. Hell - it's not even interesting!
Sure - I could write a totally kick-arse copy, make the product look like it's the next best thing since sliced bread and get you a ton of orders but what good are those orders if they all ask a refund the moment they see that the sales copy didn't even remotely represent the actual product? Not much, I'm afraid.
2. You want me to make you sound like a "guru" but don't want me to mention any of your previous work or even add your real name (let alone mugshot) to the sales page.
.. and you refused the alternative I offered. In case you don't remember, it was the "girl from the streets came, saw and made millions" approach. This is the *only* feasible way to present yourself if you don't want to reference to any previous accomplishments.
3. You gracefully denied all my suggestions regarding improving your product and your sales funnel.
Take a look at this thread on BHW: [I've removed the link to avoid making this post sound like it's promotional]. This is my latest copy. And quite a few people have told me that it's one of the best ones they've seen. And yeah, it's brought me quite a few sales. Frankly about 2x more than I expected to get.
But do you want to guess *WHY* is it such a good copy? BECAUSE WHAT I'M SELLING IS A BLOODY GOOD PRODUCT!
By far the best elements of this copy are only possible because they are true.
I gave you numerous suggestions how you could improve YOUR product so that it would be possible to use some of those powerful elements for your copy as well. Remember our chat about "personal touch", about relevant bonuses and about offering a kick-ass-i-must-be-fucking-crazy-no-risk-guarantee? Those are the things that I'm referring to. You're not even giving me any testimonials to use - and refused my offer regarding how to get testimonials. I rest my case.
4. You have no proof - social or otherwise.
I gave you 5 days to come up with ANY kind of proof, be it something from your own experience, people you've been associated with and would vouch for yourself or even a fantastic piece of information that you're willing to give your prospects for free so that they'd see that you actually know your shit.
You didn't.
Another newsflash: no copywriter in the world will be able to put together a killing copy if you don't give them ANY reasons why they should buy this thing from you, and not from the hundreds of others who have released other (and better) products on the same topic.
Right now you're no-one. Full stop. And the burden to prove that you're actually "someone" lies on you. Not on the customer. Not on your copywriter.
Sure, I could come up with a ton of shit about how many millions you've made in past and how you're vouched by the biggest names in your industry. I could even use a stock photo and claim that it's your mugshot! But I'm not going to do any of this nonsense. And neither will any other copywriter who has some dignity.
5. You don't even know who your market is!
Out of the five reasons that I listed, this one is the worst.
When I asked you who your target market was, you said "everybody". I tried and offered you several suggestions, but you weren't willing to narrow your target market down even one bit.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that one sales letter cannot appeal a 15 year-old kid from Uganda and to a retired venture capitalist from England at the same time. This is simply impossible.
I'm really not sure if it's ignorance or greed that doesn't let you define your target audience (although I'm leaning towards the latter), but I do know that without doing it your product won't be bought by anybody. Not the Uganda kid, nor the English VC.
Once again, I'm not going to apologise for anything that I said above because while I could've been a bit more subtle, this is who I am and I don't think illustrating any of these points would do either of us any good. After all, deep down you probably know exactly that everything I said is true and while it may feel you frustrated at the moment, I believe that understanding these aspects will help you a great deal when it comes to launching this (or perhaps your next) product.
Good luck with your launch and I do hope you'll make necessary adjustments to your product and your sales strategy, and find yourself a capable and willing copywriter.
With my very best wishes,
Bryan
