BreaknBrix
Power Member
- Mar 25, 2014
- 778
- 4,523
She's tried kicking him out a few times already, and he always comes back.
- The first time, he was kicked out at 14 and was required to live with his biological father. His biological father then kicked him out because my mother's friend's son drugged his step-brother and got him sent to the hospital.
- The second time, he was sent to live with his father again at 16. He was sent back when his father realised he was dealing cocaine at his high school.
- The third time, he was kicked out at 18 and went to live with his friend. His friend kicked him out for an unknown reason and my mother's friend's son went back to live with his mother. He also came back with a girlfriend who he occasionally cheats on with prostitutes (he engages in coitus with said prostitutes inside of his bedroom, which is located next to his mother's bedroom).
I feel like telling his mother what you said. It sounds like him going to prison would make her and her other relatives' life better (with the exception of the "emotional turmoil" his mother may briefly experience from having a son in jail). Besides, I personally want to see him get arrested after he tried lighting me on fire when I was 13 (that wasn't the worst thing he did, either).
That's bad. I think the mother definitely made a mistake by letting him back in. The least she could have done was stocked up on 5 panel drug test kits. Then I'd make him piss every other day just to live at home. The problem is, he's an adult now. So if he fails a drug test it's not like she can force him into rehab. Most she can do (and should do) is kick him out or report him to the authorities.
It's hard to admit, but nothing can really "fix" those kinds of people. Prison only "fixes" 1/5 inmates. So by going to jail or prison he has an 80% chance of getting worse. At the same time, for all the shit he's put his parents through, and you, he deserves to get some sense knocked into him. And jail can definitely do that.
The way I honestly see it, if the kid is a "thug", chances are prison IS going to make him worse. That's why I think thugs do better in rehab, and non-thugs do better in prison. Cause the thug expects to go to prison and be ignored by society. While the non-thug expects people to bend over ass backwards for them. But this is just a gross generalization. And in the end, the mother is the real victim. If she lacks the courage to call the authorities, the LEAST she should do is visit Nar-Anon: http://www.nar-anon.org/
It will be hard for her to make that first step. But I guarantee if she can walk through the door for *1 meeting*, the hooks will sink in. She'll feel empowered, she'll stop being the victim, stop enabling her son, she'll get excellent advise from people who've already been through what's she's going through right now, and she will work up the courage to do what's right.
People like me and you, we can speculate all day long. But she will ultimately get the most help from people who are going through EXACTLY what she is. I know it worked for my mom, it work's for a lot of parents, and she sounds like a perfect candidate.
-BB