roi300x
Registered Member
- Aug 13, 2013
- 98
- 219
Sup fellows.
I did it. Did what? Got the probably worst, most dump and spontaneous direct mail campaign started
this board ever had to face. Seriously, if this even generates a single $, the most air-minded 5 year
old with down-syndrom could make this work.
So...
Here is what it's all about:
Lurking BHW while the whole city was sleeping a feeling came up inside of me. A feeling that said: Get
your lazy a** off that chair and rape some mailboxes. NOW!
So I signed up for an instant-credit pay-per-lead program... searched the most reduced coffee-maker
amazon had to offer... and created, what's a mailing piece that without any doubt would make every
direct-mail person in this country disinherit me, if I were their son.
It's a tearsheet piece. Printed on both sides. Should look like it was teared out a newspaper. It doesn't.
That's how it looks like. Six ads on each side:
The copy? Stinks. Did it in 5 Minutes. I'm lying. It was 3. Without any research. Even without writing
20+ headlines, like I usually do.
Really... it sucks.
There are typos. The printer made it look even more crappy. In other words: The most untalented
15 year old lurker could get done something better within a few hours. Period.
Here's how I produced the "teared out"-effect:
Got a big knife and began to saw:
2nd: Took a wax crayon and marked some line that might be benefitial for my target-group. As I
told you before... I didn't do any research on my target-group. So I just marked a random line,
saying something like: "You can choose the payback rates yourself." Here you go:
Next step: Set up a tiny little website. Those CPA guys usually don't allow leading poeple from print
directly to their site. So this is what I did within 10 minuten in PS:
It's free-host. Didn't even bought a domain. Regged a free sub-domain. Totally low-budget.
Time spent: About 6 hrs. (website, mailingpiece, printing, sawing etc.)
Plus, another 2 1/2 hours to get them out.
What can I say... a just-for-fun project. Had the time. Had the motivation. No hurt feelings if it fails.
Within the next 2 hours the city will wake up. And 500 happy campers will be confronted with a pitch
every salesman would be ashamed of. Oh boy...
So what do you think... will I get back my $6 I've invested?
PS: Every lead pays $17 bucks.
PPS: Coffeemachines pay $4,70 each.
PPPS: Yes, I am from Germany.
PPPPS: Time for breakfast. Eat heatlhy!
I did it. Did what? Got the probably worst, most dump and spontaneous direct mail campaign started
this board ever had to face. Seriously, if this even generates a single $, the most air-minded 5 year
old with down-syndrom could make this work.
So...
Here is what it's all about:
Lurking BHW while the whole city was sleeping a feeling came up inside of me. A feeling that said: Get
your lazy a** off that chair and rape some mailboxes. NOW!
So I signed up for an instant-credit pay-per-lead program... searched the most reduced coffee-maker
amazon had to offer... and created, what's a mailing piece that without any doubt would make every
direct-mail person in this country disinherit me, if I were their son.
It's a tearsheet piece. Printed on both sides. Should look like it was teared out a newspaper. It doesn't.
That's how it looks like. Six ads on each side:
The copy? Stinks. Did it in 5 Minutes. I'm lying. It was 3. Without any research. Even without writing
20+ headlines, like I usually do.
Really... it sucks.
There are typos. The printer made it look even more crappy. In other words: The most untalented
15 year old lurker could get done something better within a few hours. Period.
Here's how I produced the "teared out"-effect:
Got a big knife and began to saw:
2nd: Took a wax crayon and marked some line that might be benefitial for my target-group. As I
told you before... I didn't do any research on my target-group. So I just marked a random line,
saying something like: "You can choose the payback rates yourself." Here you go:
Next step: Set up a tiny little website. Those CPA guys usually don't allow leading poeple from print
directly to their site. So this is what I did within 10 minuten in PS:
It's free-host. Didn't even bought a domain. Regged a free sub-domain. Totally low-budget.
Time spent: About 6 hrs. (website, mailingpiece, printing, sawing etc.)
Plus, another 2 1/2 hours to get them out.
What can I say... a just-for-fun project. Had the time. Had the motivation. No hurt feelings if it fails.
Within the next 2 hours the city will wake up. And 500 happy campers will be confronted with a pitch
every salesman would be ashamed of. Oh boy...
So what do you think... will I get back my $6 I've invested?
PS: Every lead pays $17 bucks.
PPS: Coffeemachines pay $4,70 each.
PPPS: Yes, I am from Germany.
PPPPS: Time for breakfast. Eat heatlhy!
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