NufcOnline
Newbie
- Aug 12, 2012
- 48
- 1
http://habitzone.net/
What needs improving?
Thanks Joe
What needs improving?
Thanks Joe
Critique my Landing page
- Thread starter NufcOnline
- Start date
Simas9
Elite Member
- Sep 28, 2010
- 2,043
- 919
Write 'Enter your email below and get a plan that is worth $97 instantly for free' or something similar above the opt-in field.
I would also change the black to blue/dark blue and cut half of the banner.
What's with the bodybuilder pic? Is this for bodybuilding achievements only? Ditch the bodybuilder guy if not.
Taking action - scaaary words for most of the people. Build Habits That Transform YOU and YOUR Life EASILY. would be much better for a headline.
I would make the arrows, text near them orange and add a one big arrow below the text point to the email field.
Don't forget that people are a bunch of lazy fat bastards that dream about shortcuts and magic pills. Use words like 'after putting it to work', 'Imagine', 'Easy', 'In control' and 'Because'.
Good luck!
I would also change the black to blue/dark blue and cut half of the banner.
What's with the bodybuilder pic? Is this for bodybuilding achievements only? Ditch the bodybuilder guy if not.
Taking action - scaaary words for most of the people. Build Habits That Transform YOU and YOUR Life EASILY. would be much better for a headline.
I would make the arrows, text near them orange and add a one big arrow below the text point to the email field.
Don't forget that people are a bunch of lazy fat bastards that dream about shortcuts and magic pills. Use words like 'after putting it to work', 'Imagine', 'Easy', 'In control' and 'Because'.
Good luck!
Last edited:
ID Internet Marketer
Senior Member
- Jan 22, 2013
- 939
- 1,444
same here with Simas9. also, you need to add more pictures and change black color.
Furious George
Supreme Member
- Dec 13, 2012
- 1,438
- 2,188
It's super boring.
(this is the first thing my eyes were drawn to) "Build Habits That Transform YOU and YOUR Life." the line spacing is weird, the font is rather bland. The red letters are a poor choice. I would go with a darker background and lighter letters.
Your copy is very undesirable, from a reading standpoint. I'm not critiquing the content, just the placement, font and color.
I like the header, although, it's not very balanced. I would make habitzone.net thicker and stand out more, then move Taking Action somewhere... it's like there's a big empty unused space.
It's weird that the header is black, and the rest of the page is white... I think the rest of the page should be black also.
To critique the copy... it has incomplete sentences; it's written poorly, and after I read it I want to do anything other than sign up.
It needs work.
(this is the first thing my eyes were drawn to) "Build Habits That Transform YOU and YOUR Life." the line spacing is weird, the font is rather bland. The red letters are a poor choice. I would go with a darker background and lighter letters.
Your copy is very undesirable, from a reading standpoint. I'm not critiquing the content, just the placement, font and color.
I like the header, although, it's not very balanced. I would make habitzone.net thicker and stand out more, then move Taking Action somewhere... it's like there's a big empty unused space.
It's weird that the header is black, and the rest of the page is white... I think the rest of the page should be black also.
To critique the copy... it has incomplete sentences; it's written poorly, and after I read it I want to do anything other than sign up.
It needs work.
premiumdesigns
Newbie
- May 27, 2013
- 28
- 0
Add some images and a nice background and also make the page load a bit faster, it is loading too slow at present.