Chronic depression and SEO

[somewebmaster]

I had a good 9-5 job for years (software developing), but when I got about 45 years old I started to perform poorly and generally I felt bad, unsuccessful, depressed, without energy, anxious...
With time it was getting worse and I didn't understand what was happening.

Because there were periods when I was just "blocked", unable to do even simple tasks, I had to leave my job and after trying some other jobs, I settled on affiliate marketing.
This job enables me to work when I feel good, and I still get some money even if I have to stop working for days or even weeks.
In time I got my diagnose and meds, it took me several years to accept it as something that would be with for the rest of my life - several times I tried to be a "hero" and leave meds, with catastrophic results.

Even with meds there are bad periods when I cannot work for days (G updates triggered it several times, or some events in life), and when I get back there are 50-100 emails waiting for me, very long list of urgent tasks... - and I just get blocked, scared that I can't do it all, so I do nothing.

The remedy is to ignore the situation, start with the first email, some small task, and continue from there. Step by step, and in time all can be done.
If not, I concentrate on most important task, and leave the rest for later or give up some of it for good.

I believe I'm not the only one here that chose this job for this reason.

 

[IM Dude]

Who sends you emails? If you dont mind telling. as an affiliate marketer like you said you get paid even when you are not working.
By the way you made the right decision to kick the software job.
It's like coding for money.
Even worse if you work at finance and banking. You are literally a cog in the gambling machine.
Or insurance you are a enabler to a litch, a parasite who sucks off the soul out of human beings.
Sorry for the rant I can go on and on...

 

[mKeehl]

Dude, tapering off meds or straight up ditching them without a doc's consultation is the dumbest thing you can do (learned first hand). There were many occasions where I was fed up and thought "this shit ain't working" so I flushed everything, only to jump back aboard a few days/weeks later. Who diagnosed you with chronic depression? I have no idea where you live and how proficient psychiatrists are over there, but in some countries mental health awareness is total shit, even when it comes to "professionals". I've tried at least 5 different docs, and the only accurate diagnosis I've gotten was OCD. I do take meds for it, but if I listened to every one of them, I'd be taking a shitload of pills. I've had depression, anxiety, and panic attacks for a few years, and it was hell, but it sure as hell was not chronic. All I'm saying is almost every disorder has an underlying cause (environment, childhood crap, lack of pussy, etc.) even if the symptoms strike you out of nowhere from time to time.

Anyway, fuck money if it interferes with your mental/physical health. There was a time where I was grossing $6-10K in profit every month (and I could live like a king in my country), but it was taking such a toll on my health, I sold the projects, invested in one piece of real estate and got 10 times less of what I was making before, but I was happy as fuck for a few months. What I'm trying to say is to ease up on the financial struggle of life if you have means to live comfortably by working less, even for a time.

I've gone through a lot of crap and I get where you're coming from. Even today, I hate waking up and fulfilling some bullshit $100 backlink orders. For someone it's a godsend, but for me it's a mindfuck when I have the mental capability to do this kind of work easily but cannot utilize my workflow for shit because something (in this case a mental disorder) is holding me back.

On the days when you feel like crap, throw away your laptop, go to the gym, take a long-ass walk, go for a swim. It sounds cliche, but physical activity is my go-to when nothing else seems to help. Pick up a few stoic books, stop taking life so seriously, and try to enjoy most of your days.

See? I saw a simple post on BHW, and it got me all riled up because I got reminded of my own shit, lol.

Anyway, good luck brother.

 

[OccultKingdoms]

environment, childhood crap, lack of pussy, etc

I have all three. Destroyer of all. I feel like my soul should burn in hell for 666 years.

Maybe try automation.

 

[mKeehl]

I have all three

welcome to club

1st rule: we don't eat pussy

 

[OccultKingdoms]

welcome to club

1st rule: we don't eat pussy

I used drugs as replacement.

But no more possible as therapist forbids.

My first woman contact.

Very nice women are.

I'm 25.

I used therapy since 6 months as what I saw at home where I was raised literally flipped my psyche upside down. I still can't believe a dude is yelling for 30 years straight and hasn't come to a conclusion to take care of it.

And that type of person was given an opportunity to raise children. Wtf

Why would anyone who spent their youth in prison be let to raise children? His wife is like 0 life, constant death thoughts.

 

[somewebmaster]

Who sends you emails? If you dont mind telling. as an affiliate marketer like you said you get paid even when you are not working.
By the way you made the right decision to kick the software job.
It's like coding for money.
Even worse if you work at finance and banking. You are literally a cog in the gambling machine.
Or insurance you are a enabler to a litch, a parasite who sucks off the soul out of human beings.
Sorry for the rant I can go on and on...

i have sites that i use for affiliate marketing. emails: technical stuff about sites (i'm also webmaster), link exchange, selling/buying links/posts, affiliate deals, potential customers asking for prices or offering their services...

 

[Deleted member 1013995]

I'm from Greece, we used to have 25% unemployment and that's when I tried to get into internet marketing.

But really, I think that sedentary jobs contribute to depression and mental illnesses. If I could I would get a manual labor job, but thinking that most manual labor jobs are severely underpaid makes me think that an IM job is the best option even though it does cause anxiety and depression.

But to make this thing more manageable, it helps to talk a lot with other people, because the opposite of depression is expression. Maybe we should stop the toxic positivity in BHW and start being more open about the IM lifestyle situation.

 

[OccultKingdoms]

Did you know having mental health conditions can give you a heart attack and can be as destructive as cocaine or heroin addiction?

Yes, this shit is serious.

Find 3 or 5 people to talk to. If it's not enough, rotate meds. If it's not enough, change people. If it's not enough, rotate meds again.

Write down every fucking thought using diagrams.net and google docs / google keep.

I crushed them mistakes and patterns like crazy with this method.

I couldn't believe I had done some stuff I would never even try without these things.

Yes, get a standing desk and try to do offline business too. If not business, then at least some part time job offline with funny people.

You're still young compared to some members here.

IM is very bad for your mental health if you don't have close friends in business and some very good business on the verge of white hat where you have daily meetings and fun. It's just no contact isolation stuff. It will eat anyone from inside.

Start from that first step of finding someone that'll understand you like therapist.

Also, consider understanding personality disorders. Chances are you have one. For me my horrible thought patterns and destruction in behavior would make me depressed as I would do worse than I would do without these patterns. So i need to painstakingly remove them and I get depressed 90% less. You can't do it solo though. Someone needs to get you on track.

 

[somewebmaster]

Dude, tapering off meds or straight up ditching them without a doc's consultation is the dumbest thing you can do (learned first hand). There were many occasions where I was fed up and thought "this shit ain't working" so I flushed everything, only to jump back aboard a few days/weeks later. Who diagnosed you with chronic depression? I have no idea where you live and how proficient psychiatrists are over there, but in some countries mental health awareness is total shit, even when it comes to "professionals". I've tried at least 5 different docs, and the only accurate diagnosis I've gotten was OCD. I do take meds for it, but if I listened to every one of them, I'd be taking a shitload of pills. I've had depression, anxiety, and panic attacks for a few years, and it was hell, but it sure as hell was not chronic. All I'm saying is almost every disorder has an underlying cause (environment, childhood crap, lack of pussy, etc.) even if the symptoms strike you out of nowhere from time to time.

Anyway, fuck money if it interferes with your mental/physical health. There was a time where I was grossing $6-10K in profit every month (and I could live like a king in my country), but it was taking such a toll on my health, I sold the projects, invested in one piece of real estate and got 10 times less of what I was making before, but I was happy as fuck for a few months. What I'm trying to say is to ease up on the financial struggle of life if you have means to live comfortably by working less, even for a time.

I've gone through a lot of crap and I get where you're coming from. Even today, I hate waking up and fulfilling some bullshit $100 backlink orders. For someone it's a godsend, but for me it's a mindfuck when I have the mental capability to do this kind of work easily but cannot utilize my workflow for shit because something (in this case a mental disorder) is holding me back.

On the days when you feel like crap, throw away your laptop, go to the gym, take a long-ass walk, go for a swim. It sounds cliche, but physical activity is my go-to when nothing else seems to help. Pick up a few stoic books, stop taking life so seriously, and try to enjoy most of your days.

See? I saw a simple post on BHW, and it got me all riled up because I got reminded of my own shit, lol.

Anyway, good luck brother.

i learned my lesson, accepted my destiny, and keep taking meds and visiting the doctor. the last combination of meds seems to work, but chronic depression comes in waves so i'm sure sooner or later i'll be down again
chronic depression = genetic predisposition + life. in my case life = growing next to the war zone for 10 years

 

[somewebmaster]

I'm from Greece, we used to have 25% unemployment and that's when I tried to get into internet marketing.

But really, I think that sedentary jobs contribute to depression and mental illnesses. If I could I would get a manual labor job, but thinking that most manual labor jobs are severely underpaid makes me think that an IM job is the best option even though it does cause anxiety and depression.

But to make this thing more manageable, it helps to talk a lot with other people, because the opposite of depression is expression. Maybe we should stop the toxic positivity in BHW and start being more open about the IM lifestyle situation.

maybe because i grew up close to the war, my social skills are zero and i actually avoid people as much as i can. i prefer animals

 

[OccultKingdoms]

Just taking meds as I guess from what you say isn't enough. These issues go much deeper than this and the root cause is people like Google. You shouldn't deal with this type of people if you're not a multimillionaire and don't have lawyers.

People really underestimate that Google is one of the most evil companies out there and all they need to be fed is money, money, money. You don't have enough of it, so change your lifestyle until you have million or so dollars then play with them again.

 

[OccultKingdoms]

maybe because i grew up close to the war, my social skills are zero and i actually avoid people as much as i can. i prefer animals

Go back to life. This forum won't help you anymore. Close this business.

Go homeless for a month.

Bitch at everyone for the time.

Find help outside.

There's nothing to lose.

Staying here only puts away the inevitable in time - human contact.

 

[Webber James]

Dude, tapering off meds or straight up ditching them without a doc's consultation is the dumbest thing you can do (learned first hand). There were many occasions where I was fed up and thought "this shit ain't working" so I flushed everything, only to jump back aboard a few days/weeks later. Who diagnosed you with chronic depression? I have no idea where you live and how proficient psychiatrists are over there, but in some countries mental health awareness is total shit, even when it comes to "professionals". I've tried at least 5 different docs, and the only accurate diagnosis I've gotten was OCD. I do take meds for it, but if I listened to every one of them, I'd be taking a shitload of pills. I've had depression, anxiety, and panic attacks for a few years, and it was hell, but it sure as hell was not chronic. All I'm saying is almost every disorder has an underlying cause (environment, childhood crap, lack of pussy, etc.) even if the symptoms strike you out of nowhere from time to time.

Anyway, fuck money if it interferes with your mental/physical health. There was a time where I was grossing $6-10K in profit every month (and I could live like a king in my country), but it was taking such a toll on my health, I sold the projects, invested in one piece of real estate and got 10 times less of what I was making before, but I was happy as fuck for a few months. What I'm trying to say is to ease up on the financial struggle of life if you have means to live comfortably by working less, even for a time.

I've gone through a lot of crap and I get where you're coming from. Even today, I hate waking up and fulfilling some bullshit $100 backlink orders. For someone it's a godsend, but for me it's a mindfuck when I have the mental capability to do this kind of work easily but cannot utilize my workflow for shit because something (in this case a mental disorder) is holding me back.

On the days when you feel like crap, throw away your laptop, go to the gym, take a long-ass walk, go for a swim. It sounds cliche, but physical activity is my go-to when nothing else seems to help. Pick up a few stoic books, stop taking life so seriously, and try to enjoy most of your days.

See? I saw a simple post on BHW, and it got me all riled up because I got reminded of my own shit, lol.

Anyway, good luck brother.

Golden response. You know exactly what you’re talking about, OP you can trust this man.

 

[Deleted member 1013995]

maybe because i grew up close to the war, my social skills are zero and i actually avoid people as much as i can. i prefer animals

how do you know your social skills are zero? Maybe it's a self-confidence issue, when someone doubts himself, it seems to him that others doubt him as well, when someone that doesn't doubt himself treats those that doubt him as idiots.

 

[OccultKingdoms]

how do you know your social skills are zero? Maybe it's a self-confidence issue, when someone doubts himself, it seems to him that others doubt him as well, when someone that doesn't doubt himself treats those that doubt him as idiots.

Well, solution is to find a person that will remind you that all the time whenever this happens.

At least once a week.

It can spiral down and spiral down... You can't let them ruminations happen. You need someone to stop it

I see guys jumping out the window every now and then...

Take care.

 

[nakamura]

I think it really depends on the personality of the person. I grew up in very bad conditions. Single mother household, debts, housing and monthly money from government, then went to orphan when I was 13, went from one orphan to another. Changed school 4 times in 3 years. Somehow still managed to get a school degree even tho I had 60 missing days in one year. I had a complete lack of responsibility and I was absolutely lazy. Then, when I thought I was lucky to get a apprenticeship in a hospital, they kicked me out of this job after 4 months. The real lesson I got in the hospital: Older people in their final years (or sometimes days) had a lot of regret in their life, told me to be brave, to get shit done as soon as possible, to never waste time. When I got kicked out I had no plan B. I was sitting on a bench in a park, had no one to call because there simply was no one to call, nobody gave a shit. This was in 2013, the very same year I signed up on BHW.

And since then, I was earning at least 4 figures per month by myself, full responsibility, I became CEO of my own company. In one moment in 2013, I was almost homeless and had to sleep on a mattress in my best friends small apartment, one year later in 2014 I was sitting in the Park Hyatt in Tokyo in the roof top restaurant.

I never talked about this, because I don't want to be put in any box, I don't want to embrace any victim mentality or anything. Shit happens to everyone. I literally do not know a single person who hadn't keep up with random shit happening to them. Be it from getting extremely, one parents died suddenly, or they had a car crash, or they got addicted to gambling or drugs or alcohol, or some people got into depression because of a failed relationship, etc. I never saw anyone who had a life without any worries or problem.

Embrace change

 

[OccultKingdoms]

I think it really depends on the personality of the person. I grew up in very bad conditions. Single mother household, debts, housing and monthly money from government, then went to orphan when I was 13, went from one orphan to another. Changed school 4 times in 3 years. Somehow still managed to get a school degree even tho I had 60 missing days in one year. I had a complete lack of responsibility and I was absolutely lazy. Then, when I thought I was lucky to get a apprenticeship in a hospital, they kicked me out of this job after 4 months. The real lesson I got in the hospital: Older people in their final years (or sometimes days) had a lot of regret in their life, told me to be brave, to get shit done as soon as possible, to never waste time. When I got kicked out I had no plan B. I was sitting on a bench in a park, had no one to call because there simply was no one to call, nobody gave a shit. This was in 2013, the very same year I signed up on BHW.

And since then, I was earning at least 4 figures per month by myself, full responsibility, I became CEO of my own company. In one moment in 2013, I was almost homeless and had to sleep on a mattress in my best friends small apartment, one year later in 2014 I was sitting in the Park Hyatt in Tokyo in the roof top restaurant.

I never talked about this, because I don't want to be put in any box, I don't want to embrace any victim mentality or anything. Shit happens to everyone. I literally do not know a single person who hadn't keep up with random shit happening to them. Be it from getting extremely, one parents died suddenly, or they had a car crash, or they got addicted to gambling or drugs or alcohol, or some people got into depression because of a failed relationship, etc. I never saw anyone who had a life without any worries or problem.

Embrace change

This was playing and sounded like this story.

Crazy piano and distortion of reality that happens in the front of our very own eyes.

 

[SeoIsArt]

Yeah, I must admit unfulfillment in life is also a contributing factor. While IM could give you a freedom in some sense its true, some people tend to overestimate it, it's significance. When I was not in IM, I tend to think of all those internet gurus like "people who escaped the wheel of system" and stuff, that is because it's completely new to you, but when inside of IM life, and you face these difficulties, abundance of tasks and all things you mentioned, you realize you just changed one system to another. But I am glad that I took this step and "played" this game.

 

[OccultKingdoms]

Bro, try to lift 150 kg.

If you do lift 150 kg, and eat enough calories, you get instant maximum adrenalin.

You have just used 90% of all your body forces.

And now your body is synthesizing all neurotransmitters at 90% efficiency for next 2 days.

Look up deadlift, squat and bench press exercises. Do them at 80% of 1 maximum repetition. You'll get so strong adrenalin it'll take you out of sleepy mood of depression in minutes.

I can't describe that feeling last week when I lifted 100 kg for the first time. Insane stimulation.

Just be aware there's plenty of idiot advice in fitness. You need to listen to real people and never do anything that hurts you. Take things slowly. Just empty barbell first weeks.

Last year I had so strong social anxiety I couldn't enter the gym. Today I'm easily lifting anything that I see there. I could throw weights with ease.

People at gym have quite interesting stories as they're already hard working people. So many times they have some business or do some sales.