I am a hard loser

[OccultKingdoms]

I was in the IM since 2014 and haven't done shit. Now today have been beaten up by my sibling due to my uncontrolled anger caused by frustration and me screaming on the balcony in the morning on someone mowing the lawn. Can't sleep more than 3 hours, they say I have to take this f*king psychotropic drugs to bear that shit. No way.

Can't deal with anyone other than hard drug addicts and alcoholics. This shit is getting hard again. I returned to hometown, but it appears I lose even more here, getting beaten up.

Shit can't deal with this life. Everyone is like "it's normal".

All my skills are useless because the only people I can deal with are drug addicts and alcoholics. Hence I can't deal with an employer and I'm pretending to be an entrepreur which I'm not cause I'm a loser and can't be one. My bank account is negative all the time and the only thing on my mind is hope constantly replaced by negative thoughts and negative events like police bust, loneliness and manipulators. And today beating.

 

[Deleted member 731332]

Have you considered meditation and exercise? How’s your diet?

 

[Dopious]

Life sux for a lot of us, get over it. Get a normal job first and get some stability in your life, and don´t be an asshole against others if you want them to treat you nice. Simple as that.

 

[TheMarquis]

Pleasant or not, I will also say: "It's normal." I been there. My advice is to take it easy and focus on what is really count. I have the impression (maybe I'm wrong) you tried too many things, and didn't focused on one thing (been there, too). The good part is you have time to start anything from the start.

Cheers!

 

[OccultKingdoms]

Life sux for a lot of us, get over it. Get a normal job first and get some stability in your life, and don´t be an asshole against others if you want them to treat you nice. Simple as that.

3rd world country jobs are the only option. I would get an insurance though. I feel like in a blind alley cause I do some freelance gigs I get the same amount of money, just that I need to pay for the insurance myself. Employers here hire young people cause they have free insurance when they go to school. I don't, so I won't get hired. The situation is complicated.

Pleasant or not, I will also say: "It's normal." I been there. My advice is to take it easy and focus on what is really count. I have the impression (maybe I'm wrong) you tried too many things, and didn't focused on one thing (been there, too). The good part is you have time to start anything from the start.

Cheers!

Maybe yes, maybe not. I believe all would be fine if those people weren't so problematic. I was living in different types of cesspools, including broke students and broke family home.

People are always going to say it's my fault that I am in the situation, but try to find a job that will let you find a real apartment where I am. Maybe you will, after 3 months of being homeless as you start to eat your second hand. None of those people can't find that job and are living off some student bonus, loans or crap that I don't get.

 

[Dopious]

3rd world country jobs are the only option. I would get an insurance though. I feel like in a blind alley cause I do some freelance gigs I get the same amount of money, just that I need to pay for the insurance myself. Employers here hire young people cause they have free insurance when they go to school. I don't, so I won't get hired. The situation is complicated.

Still, you need to get your shit together, get a low paying job like hard manual digging stuff and work on your freelance gigs on evenings and weekends, don´t be afraid to do some labor, heck it is free gym training, good for your health .. =)

 

[OccultKingdoms]

The worst about this day (06.08.2022 in particular) is that I think all the negative stuff people said about me is true.

One of them is that I am going to lose everytime I do something.

I posted this thread because of this thought, sort of believing that beating today was well deserved.

I wasn't the only one beaten by that sibling recently though, so I don't believe he knew what he was doing.

He can be glad I didn't go to police station, but you don't report family members for a couple of bruises.

Everyday for the past year I was thinking I deserve the opposite lifestyle but I lost that hope today after the beating.

 

[Dopious]

The worst about this day (06.08.2022 in particular) is that I think all the negative stuff people said about me is true.

The good thing is that there is only one way to go now, and that is forward. Forget about all shit behind you, and slowly create the life you want, it may take some time, but I´m sure you can do it.

 

[OccultKingdoms]

The good thing is that there is only one way to go now, and that is forward. Forget about all shit behind you, and slowly create the life you want, it may take some time, but I´m sure you can do it.

I didn't expect this 20 - 25 year old stage so full of trouble.

It's like these stupid issues are popping up every month and reasons behind them are so trivial.

It's just ironic what makes me that "loser". I know it's just my current perception after being beaten.

It's all about getting $100k now. Need to keep my sanity though. Otherwise, I will return to the same point.

If I had a small net worth of $100k there would be 674% less problems and frustration. And I know the last 5 years I didn't take care of that.

That's why you should be saving, even a small amount like $300 per month.

 

[Dopious]

I didn't expect this 20 - 25 year old stage so full of trouble.

It can be hard some times even if your past 50 as I am, your still going to make mistakes. Just hope you learned something from them.

It's all about getting $100k now. Need to keep my sanity though. Otherwise, I will return to the same point.

Baby steps, aim for "normal" income first to get stability in your life.

 

[OccultKingdoms]

Baby steps, aim for "normal" income first to get stability in your life.

I am attached to the thought of working everyday online and making $3k per month. But it doesn't seem to work out as I'm constantly running into issues with people around.

I need to get hold of some comfortable place where there's no distraction around. Such a place is expensive as hell though. Maybe I should rent a house in the nearest village. Where I am it's completely possible but that wouldn't let me save unless I'd get to $5k per month.

 

[Alexion]

https://dingwallasc.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/pscyho-cybernetics-book-maxwell-maltz.pdfread it while the bruises heal

there's nothing wrong with the world, and even if it is, they are not going to change any time soon
change your opinion about yourself, that's it

dopamine is a bitch if you have/had problems with drugs/alcohol
a 3-4 day sleep state should fix you up

buy a tent, go live in the woods for a week
you're from Poland, plenty of forests last time I flew over it, shit ain't nothing but trees ))

 

[Dopious]

I am attached to the thought of working everyday online and making $3k per month. But it doesn't seem to work out as I'm constantly running into issues with people around.

I need to get hold of some comfortable place where there's no distraction around. Such a place is expensive as hell though. Maybe I should rent a house in the nearest village. Where I am it's completely possible but that wouldn't let me save unless I'd get to $5k per month.

So what is your income now then? Why do you need a whole house, heck I´m renting a room only with shared kitchen and bathroom, it only cost me some $200 a month, why spend money on space you don´t really need.

 

[CPANathan]

You better tense those arms up before the tables turn and I start the bullying

Keep piecing her together and we'll get away from them eventually big man

 

[OccultKingdoms]

dopamine is a bitch if you have/had problems with drugs/alcohol
a 3-4 day sleep state should fix you up

I was 8 month free of anything but I have been experiencing only sobriety, so no shit was available to mask the crap. Now I know how it iz to be sober. I was drinking with people, so it was mainly parties, but a little bit too hard.

buy a tent, go live in the woods for a week
you're from Poland, plenty of forests last time I flew over it, shit ain't nothing but trees ))

Maybe. It was cool sometimes here.

So what is your income now then? Why do you need a whole house, heck I´m renting a room only with shared kitchen and bathroom, it only cost me some $200 a month, why spend money on space you don´t really need.

I'm a little bit obsessed about the fact I am not a millionaire at the age of 24. I consider it a major problem.

I was renting rooms too, but I felt people sharing the apartment were wasting too much of my time. But I am obsessed about puting all the effort with as few distractions as I can. I just want these police busts, drugs and problems never happen again. I hoped for healthy relationship but all I got was beating. And I will build these relationships, no matter what gender, nationality and age.

My income is not definitive. I chase big money due to my obsession and I want to run couple of businesses. I have grandiosity problems probably more than anything. I said many times I invest every minute into my education and learning only the things I need. I probably overdid it and spent too much time educating. But the knowledge is here. I can teach people. Hell yeah..

It's so tempting to chase big money and not give a shit about short term comfort but it turns against me. I must live slowly and give it some time.

 

[Sandie2018]

Remember that if you reached the bottom, the only way is up now.
Good luck

 

[Dopious]

I'm a little bit obsessed about the fact I am not a millionaire at the age of 24. I consider it a major problem.

My income is not definitive. I chase big money due to my obsession and I want to run couple of businesses. I have grandiosity problems probably more than anything.

These are your biggest problems, get over them and start to accept who you are, a normal person, nothing else, but you can become the person you want by taking it slow and steady. There is nothing that stops you to become a big bad wealthy guy in the future.

 

[OccultKingdoms]

Remember that if you reached the bottom, the only way is up now.
Good luck

The bottom in my words is probably what many people would consider okay living.
Okay health, good perspectives, nice experience. But my ideal is millions in the bank account, or in other words, $2k per day. When I make $50 per day I want to bang my head against the wall... and I turn on the "big money mode" doing some long term stuff while I should be taking care of my day to day responsibilities.

I want to be that shark human from my avatar. Just doing deals and smoking things (but without smoking things cause I don't want lung cancer).

 

[OccultKingdoms]

I have to adjust to the people I am living with. Only 22 work days and 8 days off every month. Getting up early and working till the 4 pm. Soon I will be living in a 2 room apartment doing deals. I will try to fit in more. That grandiosity and ego are getting out of control. Maybe I will play some games to focus on something else...

 

[MatteoMatt]

You do need to start chaning your mentality first. Why the fuck should you believe someone else when they say you wont succeed. is that their decision? I know your circumstances are shittier than most of these people realize but change what you can, first.

Also i hope it goes without saying buy watch some motivational speeches like that one