I am a hard loser

Yes said:
What I said stands. You’re spending far too much time comparing yourself with the next guy. Don’t! Compare yourself with who you were yesterday and focus on becoming better every day.
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Isn't the point of those videos and their communication to make me feel I'm missing out and make me envious, so I buy their stuff and become more like they are? It's triggering that comparison instantly, but maybe it's just me.

Willyfish said:
Maybe, did you just ask yourself if digital marketing is really your thing? Do you enjoy it really?

Most people think they must do that to become rich, but it's not the only option...

And if you don't enjoy the process, maybe choose what you really feel is for you.
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I might not like the process of not having $10k instantly in my bank account like in year 2015 when I didn't make use of the opportunity cause it was my first time in any kind of business. But in 2015 I didn't learn shit except that marketing is about finding kids that will complete some offers. I simplified it and marketing felt dumb to me. Today it's different.

There is nothing to like or dislike about the process as you can form it and you can create the game for yourself. In 2022 we have so much control that we decide to take because we realized affiliate marketing is no more the way to go as google and everyone else is looking down at it.

I found as much enjoyment in coding things and hacking people minds as I found in computer games. And more cause I don't worry about my future. There's a possibility to switch fully to machine learning and other kinds of journeys.

But that's a long term thing and what is worrying to me is my attitude of taking too many things at once.

I listened to your advice. Now I code only laravel and react. Instead of laravel, react, nest.js, vue, express, [...], python, graphql, rest. I already see progress as this doesn't force me to switch between thinking patterns so often. First I gave up wordpress, a couple of months ago, posting some crazy threads about it and comparing it to node.js, not fully believing I will quit it altogether. But now as I realized jumping from one thing to another gets me nowhere, I'm done with it and wordpress, nest.js, vue, express and more are gone.

I can dive deeper into one thing that I enjoy the most which is next.js/react and laravel. While these names don't tell much to a marketer, I can tell your words are happily utilized in a proper way.

Now it's about keeping the work-life balance and not worrying too much about not making it.
 
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reaaski said:
What's tragic is that they have been pushing this garbage with lambos for years now.

As marketers instead of looking at perfect instagram photos, we're looking at 7 and 8 figure entrepreneurs.

It doesn't take much these days to start thinking you're going to make it with your next SaaS idea or another engineering blog with a cosmic CPC.

It's a pitfall that emerged in the past decade. The internet has changed drastically and so the amount of those illusions increased.

Back in the days (dating back to 2013) it was 3 or 4 guys bragging about their money.

Now it's half of youtube marketing, programming, money making scenes.

It doesn't take much time to feel jealous and envious as you look at those banners saying "I make xyz (and you make 1% of xyz) doing nothing (and you do hard work)", "I did this in 3 days (and you would do in 5 years)".

Even when I went to a job, there was a guy who soon will become a millionaire. And another guy. I had never witnessed so many millionaires in my life. And I'm not even close to having $100k in my bank account.

But that doesn't matter and it's not a problem. The problem is my head.
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Do you believe that everyone advertising to be millionaire on internet is really millionaire?
Is it really that easy to make it? If it does why are you worried? You'll make it too.

What if it's not that easy and most of the people are only bragging about to grab your attention? No need to worry once again.

Do something you love, you need to enjoy the process not the final outcome. It is really that simple. We use to overcomplicate things but if you look around , except a tiny percentage, the vast majority of people who managed to make it are people who deeply love what they do, surely they want to succeed but they focus way more on the present rather than wasting time comparing themself to others who have a totally different and unrelated story.

Don't waste your time on these silly things.
Where your focus goes your energy will flow. As for energy I don't mean transcendental things but how you use your time.
Rather than focusing on what you don't have focus on what you have and how to use it to get what you want.
Wish you all the best, as you said the problem is the mind, if you can fix that your're done.
 
reaaski said:
People are always going to say it's my fault that I am in the situation
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It is your fault...both consciously and unconsciously. We're all saddled with issues, biologically, etc. You have issues. You must deal with the issues or let them control you.

reaaski said:
The worst about this day (06.08.2022 in particular) is that I think all the negative....
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See above comment.

reaaski said:
Everyday for the past year I was thinking I deserve the opposite lifestyle but I lost that hope today after the beating.
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You deserve nothing except what you work for. Yes, some people are blessed....they're just lucky. They don't deserve what they have but they have it. You have other people who have a lot but they work very hard for it. You can't control luck. You can only control your work ethic.

reaaski said:
I didn't expect this 20 - 25 year old stage so full of trouble.
Click to expand...

Life is full of trouble. 100 years ago, you wouldn't even have time to realize you're depressed or whatever. 99% of humans who have ever lived have lived much harder lives than what you're going through. Persevere.

reaaski said:
If I had a small net worth of $100k there would be 674% less problems and frustration. And I know the last 5 years I didn't take care of that.
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If you were the queen of England, life would be easier as well. "If" is a stupid word. It is a daydream word. Forget "if". Besides, there are plenty of people who have more than 100k that end up blowing their brains out.

reaaski said:
I'm a little bit obsessed about the fact I am not a millionaire at the age of 24. I consider it a major problem.
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Look, the only people who are allowed to say that shit are conscientious old types with extreme work ethics. You don't fit that. Your major problem is intention and self control. You can't control yourself. How the hell do you think you can be a millionaire if you can't control yourself? You're trying to control and manituplate money flowing towards you but you can't even control what's happening in your mind? Lame. Millionaires don't just happen. It is systematic. Systems are adhered to. Learn to adhere to things.

reaaski said:
I was renting rooms too, but I felt people sharing the apartment were wasting too much of my time.
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All your excuses are external. Stop it. Get ear plugs, put them in. Make it clear no one is to disturb you. If they do, that's when you show your anger. You have to fight for the success you want not blame everyone else for not letting you "have it".

Actual Advice:

Dopamin detox and meditation are your absolute best friends.

1: literally lock yourself in your room without your phone or any tech. No food. No water. BORE yourself for 1 day. Next day, you're allowed water and bland food.

2: start meditating for 5 minutes 3 times a day, increasing the length of time every week.

3: pick ONE thing that you are good at/willing to learn that makes money. Learn it inside and out. Sell that service or whatever.

Time keeps passing by. You can either spend it freaking out that you're not successful or you can spend it learning to be successful.

Recommendations:

This guy was an addict that used the tenants of AA applied to fitness to fix himself. His theory is sound: mental issues are physical issues. Your brain is physically not well. Use exercise to rewire it.

@soberfitness on tiktok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNtBtMD4/

This guy chronicles how he rewires his mind and work ethic. I particularly like him bc he is so chill and not flashy about it. And his methodology works. As I tried something similar.

@1_hour_a_day on tiktok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNtBX7pk/

Things to remember:

- Realise nobody's gonna save you. You're fucked. It is totally down to you.

- Be pissed off with your current situation and truly want to change it.

- And believe you can do absolutely anything you put your mind to. There are literal morons with more money than you right now.
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Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
 
kimy said:
Do you believe that everyone advertising to be millionaire on internet is really millionaire?
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Alex Becker, 5m subs channel owners and some guys manipulating the crypto scene certainly are not broke. And none of my bosses were broke too. The mechanism makes me compare myself to the closest people I know. There are also guys on the forum who just make me think I'm a peasant when I look at their outcomes (think of some mods). It's actually real. And it's even more real when you think you get $100k on avg as a PHP programmer in the US. I mean, what can I say when my peer just became a millionaire and he didn't even try hard? It makes me feel like it's easy.
 
Get a normal job. Forget about lots of money now. Just get enough to feed yourself. Your focus should be on your mental and physical health. Be nicer to yourself and be nice to others. Trust the process.
 
paydette said:
It is your fault...both consciously and unconsciously. We're all saddled with issues, biologically, etc. You have issues. You must deal with the issues or let them control you.



See above comment.



You deserve nothing except what you work for. Yes, some people are blessed....they're just lucky. They don't deserve what they have but they have it. You have other people who have a lot but they work very hard for it. You can't control luck. You can only control your work ethic.



Life is full of trouble. 100 years ago, you wouldn't even have time to realize you're depressed or whatever. 99% of humans who have ever lived have lived much harder lives than what you're going through. Persevere.



If you were the queen of England, life would be easier as well. "If" is a stupid word. It is a daydream word. Forget "if". Besides, there are plenty of people who have more than 100k that end up blowing their brains out.



Look, the only people who are allowed to say that shit are conscientious old types with extreme work ethics. You don't fit that. Your major problem is intention and self control. You can't control yourself. How the hell do you think you can be a millionaire if you can't control yourself? You're trying to control and manituplate money flowing towards you but you can't even control what's happening in your mind? Lame. Millionaires don't just happen. It is systematic. Systems are adhered to. Learn to adhere to things.



All your excuses are external. Stop it. Get ear plugs, put them in. Make it clear no one is to disturb you. If they do, that's when you show your anger. You have to fight for the success you want not blame everyone else for not letting you "have it".

Actual Advice:

Dopamin detox and meditation are your absolute best friends.

1: literally lock yourself in your room without your phone or any tech. No food. No water. BORE yourself for 1 day. Next day, you're allowed water and bland food.

2: start meditating for 5 minutes 3 times a day, increasing the length of time every week.

3: pick ONE thing that you are good at/willing to learn that makes money. Learn it inside and out. Sell that service or whatever.

Time keeps passing by. You can either spend it freaking out that you're not successful or you can spend it learning to be successful.

Recommendations:

This guy was an addict that used the tenants of AA applied to fitness to fix himself. His theory is sound: mental issues are physical issues. Your brain is physically not well. Use exercise to rewire it.

@soberfitness on tiktok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNtBtMD4/

This guy chronicles how he rewires his mind and work ethic. I particularly like him bc he is so chill and not flashy about it. And his methodology works. As I tried something similar.

@1_hour_a_day on tiktok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNtBX7pk/

Things to remember:




Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Click to expand...

This mouse makes some valid points.
reaaski said:
Alex Becker, 5m subs channel owners and some guys manipulating the crypto scene certainly are not broke. And none of my bosses were broke too. The mechanism makes me compare myself to the closest people I know. There are also guys on the forum who just make me think I'm a peasant when I look at their outcomes (think of some mods). It's actually real. And it's even more real when you think you get $100k on avg as a PHP programmer in the US. I mean, what can I say when my peer just became a millionaire and he didn't even try hard? It makes me feel like it's easy.
Click to expand...

Millionnaire without trying hard? As long as you think it's true, you will not see how much efforts you will need in order to achieve your goals. If it was not hard, everyone would do it.
 
reaaski said:
I was in the IM since 2014 and haven't done shit. Now today have been beaten up by my sibling due to my uncontrolled anger caused by frustration and me screaming on the balcony in the morning on someone mowing the lawn. Can't sleep more than 3 hours, they say I have to take this f*king psychotropic drugs to bear that shit. No way.

Can't deal with anyone other than hard drug addicts and alcoholics. This shit is getting hard again. I returned to hometown, but it appears I lose even more here, getting beaten up.

Shit can't deal with this life. Everyone is like "it's normal".

All my skills are useless because the only people I can deal with are drug addicts and alcoholics. Hence I can't deal with an employer and I'm pretending to be an entrepreur which I'm not cause I'm a loser and can't be one. My bank account is negative all the time and the only thing on my mind is hope constantly replaced by negative thoughts and negative events like police bust, loneliness and manipulators. And today beating.
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I used to be like this in my early 20s. First step is stop going out in the evenings. Only time you're getting beaten up is night + alcohol/drugs.

Instead put that time into use and learn some skills.
 
reaaski said:
Alex Becker, 5m subs channel owners and some guys manipulating the crypto scene certainly are not broke. And none of my bosses were broke too. The mechanism makes me compare myself to the closest people I know. There are also guys on the forum who just make me think I'm a peasant when I look at their outcomes (think of some mods). It's actually real. And it's even more real when you think you get $100k on avg as a PHP programmer in the US. I mean, what can I say when my peer just became a millionaire and he didn't even try hard? It makes me feel like it's easy.
Click to expand...
This is a cognitive bias that makes us think that if we can give examples of millionaires of the top of our head, it means it's a common thing or easy to achieve but statistically it's still rare. 3% of people in the US are millionaires. Two thirds of them are over 60. Less than 6% of them are in their 20s (like you).

That percentage goes even lower if you only count the liquid or cash rich millionaires (which is what you want) because a portion of them doesn't have cashflow, no business, some are paper millionaires, or they are illiquid, no idea how to make money, some just inherited a home and they live in it broke because they don't want to sell, some bought a 1 mil car and drive it broke, some were crypto millionaires for a few months in 2021 and thousandeers in 2022.
 
@reaaski you're thinking way too much.
Start slow and get momentum, stop looking at what other people are doing. Get a solid, stable income for starters. Doesn't matter if it's a shitty job or low paying IM gig, that's better than nothing. Get your own place, even if its a one room hovel, so you don't have to deal with family members who trigger you. If you can't afford your own place, start by earning enough money to afford it, don't start with "millions".
I started my 'career' on a construction site. Worked my way up doing incrementally less shitty jobs over time. Many people on this forum have similar stories.
Also, don't use the whole 'I'm from a 3rd world country' rationalization, many people on this forum are from countries similar to yours or worse, you just have to make do with the hand you've been dealt.
From what I've seen from your posts on BHW, you're pretty smart, probably really,really smart. This can be a problem since you're expecting yourself to go from 0-100 in a few days or weeks. It doesn't work like that, no one is above the grind just because they're smart.
reaaski said:
Alex Becker
Click to expand...
He started his career working in porn marketing IIRC (2012ish, maybe some old RSDN member can correct me), so I don't doubt he has put in the hustle.
Are there some people who get it easy? Sure, there are.
But that's not you, or you wouldn't be posting here.
So just deal with what your situation is, don't envy the circumstances of others.
If you have anger issues, maybe do a construction or some other manual labour job for a while, or work out everyday, honestly just sounds like you have too much excess energy that you're not burning off.
The whole 'making millions' thing is just unrealistic if you're not even cracking 10k a month - - one step at a time, man. It's okay if it's slow, don't try to rush it.
You can keep being angry and fighting the reality of your situation and being angry and breaking things etc, or you can just surrender to it, and say "okay, things aren't great, I accept that, lemme do the best I can with what I do have" and work from there.
PS: sounds like you were on antipsychotics at one point of time ("feel sleepy and need to exercise" sounds like Olanzapine). That's rough, but if that's what keeps you stable, accept it (for the time being) and build your daily routine around it.
 
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I only read your first post and not much else after that...

EFT clears out negative emotional shit fast. Find it easily on yt. Nothing else matters much until you're freed up from whatever was imposed on you during the formative years. If you're dealing with (family) sociopaths (and its offshoots) learn the grey rock method.

You can sort this out, AND If all you can afford is processed food and tap water for now, so be it, that'll change soon enough.
 
People need to struggle to have the answer they're looking for.

All of us. No exception.
 
Do some yoga and meditation and analysis the reason why you are failing, don't lose hope you are a fighter.
 
Hey friend, so... did you tried gym and wakeup at 5?or still reading "meditations"? gym twice a day. After month, you gonna feel orgasm with those steel bars and etc. Most important thing:just go, dont think too much. Wakeup and ago, wake up and go. You thank me after 1week. Im telling again:discipline. Iv read, tried a lot of books, AA, bla bla.. forget it everything without discipline. Thats it! Kill your self with sport,just kill, make yourself into machine, and this is only way at the begining. And another important moment, never never never judge yourself, for anything what was in the past. Never! After discipline another importancy:your goals, life goals. At this point you gonna work with yourself.
 
Have a relax. Go for a travel and try to spend time with your friends .
 
noellarkin said:
PS: sounds like you were on antipsychotics at one point of time ("feel sleepy and need to exercise" sounds like Olanzapine). That's rough, but if that's what keeps you stable, accept it (for the time being) and build your daily routine around it.
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That was a noradrenaline and specific serotonergic antidepressant.

Now I got my hands on something similar (started taking it 2 days ago) and it does very similar thing, just makes me more active instead of sleepy.

It feels like caffeine without side effects and keeps on going all day long.

My emotions won't burst from triggers.

To be more exact, everything is triggering me and it happens everyday, since my childhood.

Work is a trigger, thinking is a trigger, talking is a trigger, new knowledge is a trigger. Someone playing with a toy is a trigger. Everything is triggering me.

reaaski said:
uncontrolled anger caused by frustration and me screaming on the balcony in the morning on someone mowing the lawn
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This was the trigger that caused the aggression to erupt. I had many such outbursts on subsequent days. It was no longer controllable. Medics were almost called.

I did count how many things could trigger me today and it was about 20.

Thankfully tranquilizers stop this shit before it bursts.
 
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reaaski said:
And it's even more real when you think you get $100k on avg as a PHP programmer in the US.
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just saying, the guys at us may make a lot more, but its also far more expensive. 100k may not take you very far in some cities. in cheaper ones, its a good salary, but not the stuff you fantasize about. just stop denying reality, the world is not full of jet-tier magnates and you arent 2 steps away from that. come down to earth. or get a specialist in mental health if you feel you cant do it by yourself, not shame on getting help.
 
JavascriptPufferfish said:
just saying, the guys at us may make a lot more, but its also far more expensive. 100k may not take you very far in some cities. in cheaper ones, its a good salary, but not the stuff you fantasize about. just stop denying reality, the world is not full of jet-tier magnates and you arent 2 steps away from that. come down to earth. or get a specialist in mental health if you feel you cant do it by yourself, not shame on getting help.
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It's full of cocaine addicts and people who own apartments. And their bosses who make $100k per month.
 
The one fact that annoys me in this thread is your encouragement. I don't see any glimpse of improvement in you, there is not a single sentence like "Wow, thank you for all the feedback and response, I will improve myself now" after all of these 4 pages of good responses. Literally just bragging about yourself and others.

I guess the environment impacted you a lot, but if you're able to post on BHW every day and some of your responses are really thoughtful - It seems to me that you have a good amount of tools, resources, skills to replace your current situation for the better, which you probably WANT to change right now. I've read your complains about how everyone around you are millionaires, probably because you want to become one.. Did you notice that to become one, you either must have a rich dad or work smart and regularly? Maybe I'm horribly right or wrong, but you could try one of them, will not harm you if you do it right :)
reaaski said:
My bank account is negative all the time and the only thing on my mind is hope constantly replaced by negative thoughts and negative events like police bust, loneliness and manipulators.
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You're talking about negative bank account, yet you can still have access to Internet, PC (or mobile), electricity and food (because you would die without food). How do you do that?
 
it just gonna getting worst if you just keep those negative thinking
 
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