Lost it

[Scorpion Ghost]

Ive kinda dropped the ball on everything. I feel kinda demotivated and feel enormously challenged to do anything. Every little thing feels challenging. And i dont know why.

I bought a crypto recently. I need to move it from the exchange to some wallet in order to stake it. Feel like a total pain in the ass.

This sort of client wrote me an email moths ago. Not really a client anymore, more like friendly email you know. Id like to reply, but it feels like such a pain in the ass. Like i gotta read what he wrote, reply to each point he touched on. What a pain in the ass.

I have tons of links bookmarked in my browser. Each of them requires at least a read from me, and some of them require me to do stuff. I bookmark things to revisit at a later date again, like little reminders. Each of them feels like a pain in the ass.

I dont know. Im kinda not feeling anything right now. But life is better than its ever been. Apartment check, car check, apartment furnished check, apartment supplied with enough toilet paper and liquid soap and toothpaste and toothbrushes and honey and noodles and canned tuna and eveything that doesnt spoil enough to last me for like a year or longer check. A comfortable amount of cash check. Crypto investments check. Healthy steady income check.

Regular sex not check but okay i guess we cant have everything in life.

Point is, things are better than ever for me. It took 8 looooong years to get here starting from... from not turning on the heat during super cold winter and sleeping with jacket and gloves under all the covers i had, because money for rent and food more important than heating/money for electricity.

But even though things are good, im just beat up. My monthly to-do list is struggling to get done every month. Im grumpy.

Like someone ordered something from me on fiverr and i gave a discount, and i even gave a free bonus. So the client ordered and i sent her 3 files and marked the order completed. She did a revision on the order because she couldnt open the files. I told her theyre zip files, and she should right-click on each file and and extract the contents. Then she said shes on an iPad or iPod or something. So she lost me a bit cuz i dont know how those work. So okay i extracted the files and sent her all the individual files one by one on Fiverr and marked the order completes. She did a revision again saying she cant open them, or cant download them, something. I easnt clear what problem she is having anymore...

At this point i wanted to tell her to fuck off, i have no time for this shit, and to cancel the order. She asked if i can send her the stuff via email. I said i dont know, id have to ask Fiverr. It never came up before. But i asked her for clarification on whether she cant download the files or cant open the files.

A while later she writed me that she manages to open them using WinRAR and she is ready to approve my order. I marked it completed again and she left me 5 stars and a good review, and even gave me a $5 tip.

I had mentioned WinRAR to her in one of our earlier messages, but i guess it took a while for her to sink in.

But anyway i was so annoyed, i wanted to rudely cancel the order as soon as i encountered any difficulty. My patience is really low nowadays.

I dont know. Hoe are you guys doing?

 

[Deleted member 923340]

Regular sex not check

There you go. Time for a trip to Thailand.

 

[IWannaTaco]

time to go offline for a bit.

best thing you can do for your health

 

[Dopious]

Lovely read, as usual .. You will get back on the horse, maybe just try to relax a bit, focus on something else for a couple of days, like new curtains .. I belive in you .. =)

 

[Scorpion Ghost]

There you go. Time for a trip to Thailand.

Well, for one, i have no idea how traveling works during corona.

For two, ive had an STD about 10 years ago. Maybe i had 2 of them. Id rather not go down that road again. Of course, i didnt get them from hookers back then, i got them from regular girls, but still...

And three, at the risk of sounding totally fucking gay, i wanna fuck somebody i like and who likes me back, not pay for it.

Meh...

time to go offline for a bit.

best thing you can do for your health

Youre probably right. But people send me bitcoins, they send me dollars, litecoins, euros, ethereums, and everyhing else you can imagine. And i have a responsibility to do the work.

See if your money runs out you call mom. If my money runs out i can go fuck myself. I guess i could call mom, but i got fucking pride goddamnit!!!

Lovely read, as usual .. You will get back on the horse, maybe just try to relax a bit, focus on something else for a couple of days, like new curtains .. I belive in you .. =)

Haha funny you mentioned that. Ive beem wondering whether i should put curtains in my apartment. I have 3 windows that could use them. Well its 2 windows that are 2x2 and one single. So 5 single windows technically.

The problem is, buying the curtains will cost me time and money. Then installing them, oh jesus fucking christ. Drilling into walls and stuff, what a mess. Something could to wrong, maybe the entire building collapses haha. Though maybe i can use those like bathroom curtain hanger/bar that just open up with enough force to stay stuck between 2 walls; and then hang a regular curtain on them.

But when its all said and done, the curtains collect dust, you gotta wash them sometimes. Another time-consuming and water electricity / money-consuming activity, and a pain in the ass.

So i dont know. Maybe on the curtains

 

[Deleted member 923340]

Well, for one, i have no idea how traveling works during corona.

For two, ive had an STD about 10 years ago. Maybe i had 2 of them. Id rather not go down that road again. Of course, i didnt get them from hookers back then, i got them from regular girls, but still...

And three, at the risk of sounding totally fucking gay, i wanna fuck somebody i like and who likes me back, not pay for it.

Meh...

Few countries are open for travelling. Thailand is one of them.

Depends on what STD we talking about. Everyone has herpes

It doesn't sound gay. It is more fun when they like you back sure.

 

[Scorpion Ghost]

Depends on what STD we talking about. Everyone has herpes

This is actually true, but not everybody knows it.

But then if you know it, you can never say "i had" herpes, you can only say "i have" herpes. And that does not sound good at all.

The ignorant and the dishonest motherfuckers, they win this one.

 

[zionbar]

bro - you're not fulfilling your potential that's why you're feeling that way. You know you can do way more than having to deal with bs on fiver.

 

[Scorpion Ghost]

bro - you're not fulfilling your potential that's why you're feeling that way. You know you can do way more than having to deal with bs on fiver.

I did my best, i gave it my all literally for 8 years. Net worth went from rent money to about $150-200k (the $50k uncertainty is because of crypro price changes and because im uncertain how much money i could get for selling all of my digital assets).

Its enough. Im tired. I have more than most. As it should be.

Now of course, i dont have more than most when you include their families and inheritances, so technically i have less than most. But i could go toe to toe with most people my age and come out on top in terms of who produced more $$$ in their life.

Who knows, maybe crypto pops big time and i can get some Real money in a few years and without breaking my back for it and working every waking hour every day of the year. But im good enough for now.

 

[Muliloz]

Sounds like you are depressed and/or stressed, close the computer, get some fresh air, be social, hit the gym or any other way be active and get your thoughts together.

It's enough. I'm tired. I have more than most. As it should be.
Now, of course, I don't have more than most when you include their families and inheritances, so technically I have less than most. But I could go toe to toe with most people my age and come out on top in terms of who produced more $$$ in their life.

And this is exactly why everyone is saying that "Money will not make you happy" and it sounds like you are living that "dream".

You need to find other purposes in life than money, especially if you already have good savings and can stand against harder times.
Life is all about balancing things imo.

 

[zionbar]

I did my best, i gave it my all literally for 8 years. Net worth went from rent money to about $150-200k (the $50k uncertainty is because of crypro price changes and because im uncertain how much money i could get for selling all of my digital assets).

Its enough. Im tired. I have more than most. As it should be.

Now of course, i dont have more than most when you include their families and inheritances, so technically i have less than most. But i could go toe to toe with most people my age and come out on top in terms of who produced more $$$ in their life.

Who knows, maybe crypto pops big time and i can get some Real money in a few years and without breaking my back for it and working every waking hour every day of the year. But im good enough for now.

I get it but its not all about money u gotta something u like or ull get burned out and not wanna hear another client ever again

 

[thescrrr]

Take a vacation, travel to a warm beach, and rest for a week.

 

[Gogol]

I think what you are going through is burn out. Been there myself. Sometimes I even questioned everything I know. When this happens, I just take a break.

Trust me, a trip to the sea for a couple of days does wonders. Take a break, and be sure to disable internet. Once you are back, you will be at a much better mental state.

 

[UnusualSubstance]

You're lost because you don't have a festive hat on!!!

 

[pepeneo]

you climbed the mountain of success only to see there is nothing on the top
take it one day at a time, money aint your focus anymore it is a byproduct
make a daily routine work a couple of hours, work out, then socialize, in a couple of weeks you will feel better than ever I promise

 

[Rehman713]

you climbed the mountain of success only to see there is nothing on the top
take it one day at a time, money aint your focus anymore it is a byproduct
make a daily routine work a couple of hours, work out, then socialize, in a couple of weeks you will feel better than ever I promise

Wellcome to blackhatworld

 

[Ashk881]

You're burnt out. Happens when you haven't taken a long break after awhile. Maybe take a vacation for a week or something?

 

[Alexion]

Regarding sex...

Whenever you are in the mood, open up pHub, and while you are at it, open up one of those canned tuna you said you have for a year.

The scent will trick your brain thinking it's the same deal.

 

[IamNRE]

bro - you're not fulfilling your potential that's why you're feeling that way. You know you can do way more than having to deal with bs on fiver.

I think what you are going through is burn out. Been there myself. Sometimes I even questioned everything I know. When this happens, I just take a break.

Trust me, a trip to the sea for a couple of days does wonders. Take a break, and be sure to disable internet. Once you are back, you will be at a much better mental state.

This is the best advice.
Find your purpose / the meaning of your life. What you want to be remembered for, what makes you want to wake up and work on in the morning, what makes you want to stay up and work on at night. Find that and go after it. Then slowly get rid of the things that don't bring meaning and aren't needed.

Also, take a break. Clearly you're burnt out. When was the last time you took 2-4 weeks off?

 

[sci0n]

i don't have an advice as i'm just going through something very similar.

hang in there i guess?

gym makes me feel better. small talk makes me feel better, like banter with the person at the checkout or so. w/e it will pass.