I am lost

kvvni said:
I'm lost
I know this is not a forum about relationships and consolation, but about blackhat. I identify with myself because I have been active on the Internet for as long as I can remember. I learned a lot from here, and I also try to pass it on. I love you guys and I need your word, advice, I don't know how to call it.


I'm 21. I have been working on the internet since I was 14. First pennies, now large amounts. I'm not going to sell anything - so I'll say - indeed, in 2020 I made ~ $ 300,000. Generally, no one except my family knows how much I have on my account, even the girl knew that I earn a lot, but no specific amounts. I even kept a work journal in a local forum in my country, but I was done because writing about such amounts equals writing from your friends "and how do you do it" "will you teach me?" etc etc. Sick shit.


I am with my girlfriend for 5 years. As you can see my age, you probably think: HOW THE FUCK. That's what everyone thought, "perfect relationship", "no quarrels" etc. etc.

She's been very strange for a month now. He has a high school diploma this year, she studies very often. We always slept together, almost every day (we don't live together). Now? No, because she is studying, but I am OK with that.

A week ago we had an honest conversation. She said it was bothering her; that I doesn't respect her; that there were many times when she was silent when I did something. And ok. I'm not a saint, there were some stupid things on my part (for example, during a party I took a picture with another girl, etc.) I won't go into details, because it's not worth it. But she stated that there were a lot of such situations in 5 years, and she was silent. However, she did not provide specific examples, only that there were a lot of them.


I apologized, even a tear flew because there were some sick actions, but I never cheated on her, never flirted with another, nothing like that. I have always been 100% faithful to her, ALWAYS.

Yesterday I came to her and noticed that she is so quiet that she wants to go to sleep right away, and I asked what the fuck is going on.


She said she felt it was more of a habit than a feeling. That we just do something every day, see each other and that's it. I replied that there is a pandemic and everything is closed, what should we do? I always try to take care of her to make her happy. And suddenly she said, "We'll either try to rebuild it or leave it as it is." Shock. Heart to throat.
It is not the end.

"I just don't want to lose you and hurt you." So? What do you think about it? What does it mean?

Then on a walk, continuing the conversation, she said she felt a little restricted. That he has a problem meeting new people. That, for example, while she is in a relationship with me, she would not come to the table and meet some men. Get it? Here I already got a headshot. She said "maybe she must fly out of the nest." That she lacks the same passion as at the beginning. That it hasn't been working out for a month (worst of all, I haven't noticed anything changed in the course of this month).

She has started smoking quite a lot recently. E-cigarette, but she always despised.


A million thoughts. Is it that she is bored of this relationship? Is she fed up with me? Or maybe he has someone?


I'm fucked up. I am lost. I had a great life, I started planning my engagement, buying an apartment. 5 years. 5 years from my teen life.


I couldn't sleep today. I woke up sweating after 2 hours with a headache. I have not eaten for long time. What should I do? Fuck, I'm silly asking here on the forum, but I feel that there are good people here.

Edit: huge thanks if you read it, it means for me a lot :(
Click to expand...

Wait. You're 21 AND rich?

Relax then mate. Everything's good when you're 21. And rich.

Go enjoy life.

About relationship advice: Do a gangbang with 5 hot girls.
 
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well the age 21 is very critical, tough time. Suggestions does not makes any sense since its personal i would suggest you to prepare yourself as there is lot more pain and pressure is coming in few years. Its not easy to forget the past and carry on but this is the only best way. Choose Forward.
Cheers :)
 
I bet she is your first gf and vice versa, I think she is bored and you may not have a broader vision about other relationships. Take a break for a month if she is come back, you find another girl
 
kvvni said:
hmmmm


I didn't speak to her with a single message. We've been messaging every day and we saw each other almost every day. Despite the fact that I regretted it (breakup, memories with her, etc...) at the beginning, I decided that I had to move forward. Yesterday I went to see a new car at a car dealership. (I saying right away: no, I didn't brag about it anywhere, it was just a coincidence that she called then. She is not about the money, because we were in poverty together, and we broke up when I was earning mega money for my country).

She wrote, "Hey, you want to talk? I don't want to impose myself, if you don't want to, I understand." I wrote "I think we can if I have free time". Well, yeah, I was clearly bursting with energy, compared to her - she was, I have the impression - as sad and tired as during the last month of the "circus" in our relationship. She even said that she wanted to send me a picture of the cat we adopted, but she refrained because she didn't know if she should.



I got a call from her today that she wanted to call me yesterday but she was scared or something like that.

I got invite on her birthday party and... She said there would be alcohol so I could stay for the night.

what the hell is going on :D
I have to create journey thread with this :anyway:
Click to expand...
how would you guys react to this?
 
You Both are young.
Give it Some time. Just confront her about if she wants to break up or just dont put everything on her. Make it seem like that it is with both your consent.
If she agrees to what you are suggesting. Just go for a vacation with some close friends. Try doing something other than your work. If you work is what you love then focus on that.
If you have earned that much. I don't think that you grind to earn now. So try to find things other than relationship and work that can interest you. Good Luck.
 
kvvni said:
hmmmm


I didn't speak to her with a single message. We've been messaging every day and we saw each other almost every day. Despite the fact that I regretted it (breakup, memories with her, etc...) at the beginning, I decided that I had to move forward. Yesterday I went to see a new car at a car dealership. (I saying right away: no, I didn't brag about it anywhere, it was just a coincidence that she called then. She is not about the money, because we were in poverty together, and we broke up when I was earning mega money for my country).

She wrote, "Hey, you want to talk? I don't want to impose myself, if you don't want to, I understand." I wrote "I think we can if I have free time". Well, yeah, I was clearly bursting with energy, compared to her - she was, I have the impression - as sad and tired as during the last month of the "circus" in our relationship. She even said that she wanted to send me a picture of the cat we adopted, but she refrained because she didn't know if she should.



I got a call from her today that she wanted to call me yesterday but she was scared or something like that.

I got invite on her birthday party and... She said there would be alcohol so I could stay for the night.

what the hell is going on :D
I have to create journey thread with this :anyway:
Click to expand...

My thought on this as a woman (you are now looking at my profile pic, don't let this fool you. I simply love this manga) it's a communication issue with herself.
She blames you for things she blames herself for; her life outside of you must not be very intense.
She is at a turning point in her life where she wonders if it's worth it to live her youth with the same person and not to look elsewhere.
She doesn't want to regret it later, but at the same time, she is afraid to leave her habits.

You are not the problem.

I don't know if my story can help you.
For example, the person I'm with, I've known him since I was 18 (I am 27 now).
We got married, and we have a 4 years old daughter, two months ago, I discovered that he was cheating on me.
Everyone around us was surprised, considering our financial situation, family situation, etc.
I'm not an ugly woman, far from it, I'm athletic, I earn a good amount of money, I take care of myself, my house, I cook, I take care of him ...
In short, there was nothing to suggest that he would cheat on me, but he did.
And personally, I'm a very calm person, I asked him to explain himself, and the reason for him is that he feels inferior to me, that I succeed in everything.
And compared to me, he needed to be with a person who is below him to feel revalorized, etc.
All this to say that sometimes in a relationship, we think that we are the other person's problem, but no.
A few weeks ago, he asked me to do the 16 personalities test; I did and showed him the result (Logician); he was angry because his result was a mediator.
I didn't understand why; I told him that he needs to accept himself as he is. We are all different, we all have different intellects, and his problem was that he didn't accept himself.
So I gave him two options regarding his cheating, either he leaves if he really thinks I'm bad for him, and if not, he stays and goes to therapy to gain self-confidence and assert himself as who he should be.

I think your girlfriend may be at that turning point in her life.
 
My advice is to break up with here ne reply nothing let here thinking and feeling ur lost then she will come for apologies .
Then play ur role as a man and forgive here with a last chance

trust me u will see .
 
hadnerd said:
I asked him to explain himself, and the reason for him is that he feels inferior to me, that I succeed in everything.
Click to expand...


hadnerd said:
A few weeks ago, he asked me to do the 16 personalities test; I did and showed him the result (Logician); he was angry because his result was a mediator.
Click to expand...


Some men these days...I'm sorry you had to go through this!

Remember it's not your job to fix your husband. What you wrote about yourself, you are great, and you are definitely not a problem!

Karma will hit your husband really bad. My ex LITERALLY is crying till this day that our marriage ended, and technically it ended a few years ago. Not that I'm happy with it, I wish him really well, we are still friends, I'm even looking for a girlfriend for him just because I want to see him happy ...and I don't want to be his mommy for the rest of my life :D I'm a very caring and empathic person, and he used to this, so whenever he has a problem or he needs to talk he always wants to discuss everything with me etc and of course I can help, that's not a problem but I think he needs to start moving on...I need to care of my kid, my father, and uncle, just for f...sake move on :D

If you decide to fix your marriage I wish you well and I hope it will work. But if you will decide to end your marriage, just remember, you don't need to afraid. You are strong, beautiful and very successful woman. And you deserve for a great guy. And dating after divorce is so much easier, you don't have that pressure. You won't be looking for husband material or for someone to have kids with, you will just go on dates and have fun.

If you need someone to talk to, just dm me.

Good luck!
 
A simple advice: Marry her if your country rules allow it and start having a family cause she is bored living the same life but when you will be married, she won't be thinking too much and also I don't suggest moving on as it will hurt you very much cause you love her.
 
After almost 5 days without contact, she removed my tag and photos with me on instagram. I know it's stupid, but ugh, it hurts a little again :)

I checked her instagram and I see that she began to follow some pages with sad poems. (?)

Yesterday her best friend wrote to me "How are you?" and to the answer "very well" she replied that she hopes that we will all meet at this birthday party.

And what am I supposed to do with this birthday now...

I don't know what it looks like from her side now:

"He doesn't write to me because he doesn't care"
OR
"phew, it's over."
 
Yes, as others say give it some time. Don't do any stupid things meanwhile.

I just don't want to lose you and hurt you and It was more of a habit than a feeling. - These two are the major reasons many of the relationships sustain for a longer time. She is probably right with that.

And yes, 'never quarrel' is actually not a good sign in a relationship, most of the times. It means one of the people taking all the shits and sacrifices, silently.
 
A small update to refresh the topic. I think quite an interesting update :)

I recently got drunk with my ex's friend's boyfriend. Not too light :p
He told me something there. Not much, just that he knew beforehand that we would part ways. So I was actually wasting a few days (at least) and I'm angry about it, because I could go on.

It turned out that last week she was with a friend at the lake, and I just went jogging there and met my ex's friend and her boyfriend. (By the way: awesome people).

My ex said then that I came to run there because I knew she would be there. Get it?

She thinks that I am looking for her and I run after her :D Fucked theory.


And at the end....


such an end... that it felt easier for me to hear about it.



One of the detonators was our conversation about the community of property. She would like to have a community because she would feel more confident.

"If we didn't have a property community and I lived with him, he could throw me out on the street at any moment."


Get it? I devoted 4.5 years of my youth to a girl who at the end tells her friends something like this :D
We were supposed to break off without any talk behind our backs, and here I find out about something uncreated. In retrospect, it's good it ended like that.

It blew my head, I have almost 2 months in the ass with work, but such a bucket of cold water is sometimes needed.

Thanks to everyone who contributed here.

@Nocan @Blackhat Lifter @Adriana Chan @Jimoz @rajiced @Slusser @Stuffedegg @NirvanaWolf @Razentyler @tubeboost @Halch @eislamov @MrBachir @Shamaninov @nejooflixx @Jerk55 @stoat @brown_thomas28 @meannn @JANUM @Matt Blanchard @prateek31 @SocialEyez @VSYNC @Josh Saga @HustleTong @ChillerNiller @The Pirate Prince @klonja @Mike Haskins @microman @Iuzzu @satyr85 @Rashad Hossain @Ninah @-Scrub @Heiko @klazeg @b1step-ahead @thescrrr @Ni12 @Yasith @doanhtien @Caius Julius Caesar @FWA @Goon Zoon Fraz
@jazzc @ranaldjanssen @bartosimpsonio @jason haney @kingvestor @nice2haveu @alonelywriter @hadnerd @damish @Makemeproguys @sarfrazk9 @DevMask


I'm not sure if I can tag this many people, but anyway: thank you people. I started this topic under the influence of great emotions, and now I feel that everything has come off me like a balloon :)
It's fucking awesome to be part of BHW.
 
iu


Something is fishy with this thread IMO.
 
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