I am lost

[SocialEyez]

Relationship will never feel the same like in the begining, there is less passion, but there is love, caring and mutual respect, that goes above and beyond in the tough times of life.

If you truly belive she is worth fighting for - fight for her. more than your business, more than your dreams, a good relatioship is worth more than money.

P.S - i was exactly in your shoes, i am with my wife since age 17, we are now both 33, we been trough hard times in that period like all people do, but true love wins.

 

[Deleted member 1333509]

Guys and chicks think wayyyy differently about relationships and this happens quite commonly mate.

A sad but true fact is that a majority of chicks need not to be given 100% support, focus and affection otherwise this happens. Many guys (including myself when something kind of similar to this happened to me a while ago) struggle to wrap their heads around what's happening.

Exactly like what you said - she started acting weird and uninterested, you were thinking "what the fuck caused this?". Very common man, we're wired very differently, and to guys, a situation that seems great can be a situation where the girl is unsatisfied.. perversely, because they're not at risk of losing you.

When I was much younger I never used to be the kind of guy that would play head games or act distant deliberately, in fact I thought it was retarded and a shitty way to live. BUT.. you come to realise that it's in your best interests, her best interests and the best interests of any relationship to ensure that she never feels like there is a 0% chance she could lose you.

On top of that, the most fucked up thing is that it's in a lot of guys' natures to show how much they care about their girlfriend by doing exactly that. Showing them they are secure, reassuring them, boosting their confidence all the time.

From my experience it needs to be managed man - you have to wind back some of your natural urge to be 100% available and 100% into her all the time, and you have to create (in your mind and hers) a sense that you are running the show and although you're a partnership and you love her, your life will tick along just find if she fucks about and you move on without her.

When it gets to the point you're at, it's probably best to have some distance from her if you do want to be with her long term anyway. It's too hard to change her impression of you and the situation while you're still in each others' space every day. But remember too, even though you feel the way you do about her now, nothing is better than getting some of your own space and then reevaluating how you feel about her after some weeks or months of mental clarity created by being on your own for a while.

 

[Josh Saga]

You have 2 options -

1. Keep the relationship and build through it. You're in the stagnant phase in a relationship, and this often happens to people not yet thinking of a deeper level of commitment in mind. Have the talk, where do you see the future together, or if you do see a future together.

If you both said yes, then it's time for you to rekindle what was lost. Be cheezy by all means, just get back to that old groove. Have sex, plenty of sex and make sure she finishes. Do everything to get back that steamy spicy stuna level attraction you once had.

2. If she said No - or she's 'confused', that already means she's reluctant for further commitment. There's a chance she would want to pursue a deeper level of commitment, but that's rarely the case (from my experience).
If that's the answer, whether she said 'No' or she's 'confused' - it's time to drop the relationship.

Bonus Option:

Dear order some steamy spicy hooker and make a decision after they've done their fruity service.

Welcome dear sir dear,
xoxo

 

[kvvni]

Dear order some steamy spicy hooker and make a decision after they've done their fruity service.

Welcome dear sir dear,
xoxo

thank you sir <3

 

[HustleTong]

If it's consuming too much of your headspace, eventually you'll have to cut the knot.
Never regret if you have to do it earlier.
You're young.

 

[kvvni]

Guys and chicks think wayyyy differently about relationships and this happens is quite common mate.

A sad but true fact is that a majority of chicks need not to be given 100% support, focus and affection otherwise this happens. Many guys (including myself when something kind of similar to this happened to me a while ago) struggle to wrap their heads around what's happening.

Exactly like what you said - she started acting weird and uninterested, you were thinking "what the fuck caused this?". Very common man, we're wired very differently, and to guys, a situation that seems great can be a situation where the girl is unsatisfied.. perversely, because they're not at risk of losing you.

When I was much younger I never used to be the kind of guy that would play head games or act distant deliberately, in fact I thought it was retarded and a shitty way to live. BUT.. you come to realise that it's in your best interests, her best interests and the best interests of any relationship to ensure that she never feels like there is a 0% chance she could lose you.

On top of that, the most fucked up thing is that it's in a lot of guys' natures to show how much they care about their girlfriend by doing exactly that. Showing them they are secure, reassuring them, boosting their confidence all the time.

From my experience it needs to be managed man - you have to wind back some of your natural urge to be 100% available and 100% into her all the time, and you have to create (in your mind and hers) a sense that you are running the show and although you're a partnership and you love her, your life will tick along just find if she fucks about and you move on without her.

When it gets to the point you're at, it's probably best to have some distance from her if you do want to be with her long term anyway. It's too hard to change her impression of you and the situation while you're still in each others' space every day. But remember too, even though you feel the way you do about her now, nothing is better than getting some of your own space and then reevaluating how you feel about her after some weeks or months of mental clarity created by being on your own for a while.

When you liked my post I knew that there will be something worth read.

 

[ChillerNiller]

You are in such a young age and have been together so long that if I would be you and aren't 100% sure that she-is-the-one then i would break up. Your life will be much richer if you do. You will develop more mentally and get better at relationships/sex.

 

[Deleted member 1333509]

Do everything to get back that steamy spicy stuna level attraction you once had.

Even if your post was anonymous, this line would have let us know it was you.

 

[The Pirate Prince]

I felt better after reading it. Really. Thanks for taking the time to read and write back to everyone.

Yea OP bail out now. Like right now. Try least try to end it in good terms.
That being said, eislamov is right OP. You are young and you are succesful making bank.
Just keep doing what you are doing and grow your wealth.
You will meet other girls which will be easy, because you are succesful.
Also lift, not just for the girls but for good health.
When you date other girls, you'll start seeing that maybe this girl wasn't right for you. She's the only thing you have ever known.
Believe me, this is a blessing in disguise.

 

[klonja]

i had similar problem i was making some cash when i was 15 i met a girl we were been dating for 4years while i was working on my self making money acquiring skills but suddenly after 4 years she started acting weird and we were meeting and talking less i got into depression or whatever it's called since it was my first relation and we spent alot of time together i couldn't get over it especially when she low key got into another relation within 1 week iknew iwas played so hard i spent the whole year in bed with suicidal thoughts and i failed that university year and more i failed my whole business when it was the real time to scale it lol these stuffs happen to every one just learn from it and move on and please don't try to fix it thank me later for this advice since the relation won't get like it was before couple months and you'll get into more problems and drama shit and u'll lose energy that you should be spending on ur business ( every pain is temporary ) good luck .

 

[Mike Haskins]

I'm lost
I know this is not a forum about relationships and consolation, but about blackhat. I identify with myself because I have been active on the Internet for as long as I can remember. I learned a lot from here, and I also try to pass it on. I love you guys and I need your word, advice, I don't know how to call it.


I'm 21. I have been working on the internet since I was 14. First pennies, now large amounts. I'm not going to sell anything - so I'll say - indeed, in 2020 I made ~ $ 300,000. Generally, no one except my family knows how much I have on my account, even the girl knew that I earn a lot, but no specific amounts. I even kept a work journal in a local forum in my country, but I was done because writing about such amounts equals writing from your friends "and how do you do it" "will you teach me?" etc etc. Sick shit.


I am with my girlfriend for 5 years. As you can see my age, you probably think: HOW THE FUCK. That's what everyone thought, "perfect relationship", "no quarrels" etc. etc.

She's been very strange for a month now. He has a high school diploma this year, she studies very often. We always slept together, almost every day (we don't live together). Now? No, because she is studying, but I am OK with that.

A week ago we had an honest conversation. She said it was bothering her; that I doesn't respect her; that there were many times when she was silent when I did something. And ok. I'm not a saint, there were some stupid things on my part (for example, during a party I took a picture with another girl, etc.) I won't go into details, because it's not worth it. But she stated that there were a lot of such situations in 5 years, and she was silent. However, she did not provide specific examples, only that there were a lot of them.


I apologized, even a tear flew because there were some sick actions, but I never cheated on her, never flirted with another, nothing like that. I have always been 100% faithful to her, ALWAYS.

Yesterday I came to her and noticed that she is so quiet that she wants to go to sleep right away, and I asked what the fuck is going on.


She said she felt it was more of a habit than a feeling. That we just do something every day, see each other and that's it. I replied that there is a pandemic and everything is closed, what should we do? I always try to take care of her to make her happy. And suddenly she said, "We'll either try to rebuild it or leave it as it is." Shock. Heart to throat.
It is not the end.

"I just don't want to lose you and hurt you." So? What do you think about it? What does it mean?

Then on a walk, continuing the conversation, she said she felt a little restricted. That he has a problem meeting new people. That, for example, while she is in a relationship with me, she would not come to the table and meet some men. Get it? Here I already got a headshot. She said "maybe she must fly out of the nest." That she lacks the same passion as at the beginning. That it hasn't been working out for a month (worst of all, I haven't noticed anything changed in the course of this month).

She has started smoking quite a lot recently. E-cigarette, but she always despised.


A million thoughts. Is it that she is bored of this relationship? Is she fed up with me? Or maybe he has someone?


I'm fucked up. I am lost. I had a great life, I started planning my engagement, buying an apartment. 5 years. 5 years from my teen life.


I couldn't sleep today. I woke up sweating after 2 hours with a headache. I have not eaten for long time. What should I do? Fuck, I'm silly asking here on the forum, but I feel that there are good people here.

Edit: huge thanks if you read it, it means for me a lot

The only asset in life is yourself, I would focus more on yourself, make yourself better and if she chooses to come along with you or not, then that's her choice, a man can never lose a woman chasing money but a man can lose alot money chasing women..women want someone that doesn't care about them...I have seen it over and over...women chase the bad guy, the guy that doesnt care, the second the guy cares she loses interest....being to attached to someone else you have no control over is a mistake...focus on yourself make more money, build more businesses, meet hotter girls...there are so many women in this world hot AF you can't even believe it, let go and accept whatever she wants to do. and make yourself stronger...unless you own a 100,000,000 $ company your not there yet...focus on you and your money and if she cant see your a good investment thats her issue...so basically let go, dont care and if she doesnt support you, find another one that does-it may take 5 years to do that but thats what it is...you have to see yourself as the investment not her...

 

[Deleted member 1455908]

Plenty more fish in the sea mate, you sound like you have the rest of your life sorted so maybe focus on you for a bit, not every relationship works, unfortunately.

Travel the world and do some fucked up shit while you're young, swim with the dolphins and dance with the monkeys, the world is your oyster

 

[Iuzzu]

From your text we can see that you are an attentive and devoted boyfriend, for a normal person this is not a problem, but for women after a while this is ''suffocating'', I don't see the point in this, but this is how many women think.

If you break up with her, she will miss you after a few days or weeks. So, the ideal would be to provoke this feeling by taking a step back, not talking about these problems and show her that you have a life and have other things to worry about.

If you continue to behave this way she will think that she is the most important thing in your life, and this creates a comfort zone for her, because all the effort to maintain the relationship is yours and she doesn't have to worry about making an effort, because you are already guaranteed in her life.

If your desire is to keep the relationship going, take one step back to take two steps forward... decrease the attention you give her and this will make her want to make the effort to get you back.

 

[kvvni]

We had great 2 weeks, after that she told me she has a Very bad day. She told again about routine, boring days. She has mature exams in May.
- coffee
- learning
- me
- learning

Today I have been with friends and her on a Trip and then I am alone at home.
she told that she prefer to go home (to her parents, wtf), to learn again and THINK.
Asked about What.
THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING, about us.

My thoughts: WTF.

you think that everything is alright.

we promised each other that we will make everything(!) to recover the relationship.

sweet words at morning, etc. Every fuckin thing was like before my first post.

I am not lost today. I am fucking angry that she gave me opportunity(?) to recover it and then she said:
‚you are really perfect boyfriend, but i don’t feel all of this I felt before’.


So I tried my best and I expect she will break up.


Sorry for my english but I went out with my old friends and got drunk. it’s maybe not perfect way but I really missed them.

i have the longest (5 years already) journey thread on local IM forum.

I promise guys, If it won’t improve and it’s all over, I will make fucking millions until 22 and prove it with journey thread. I PROMISE.



i love all of you. really. you made me feel better.

 

[satyr85]

you are really perfect boyfriend

That's your problem bro.
Dont be a perfect boyfriend.
Turn off your phone, go on a trip with your friend, get lost or drunk and turn on your phone 24 hours later.

P.S. Read some books like 365 dni so you can find out what kind of drama some girls need Your behavior is probably predictable that's why she says about routine, turn on bad boy mode

 

[Rashad Hossain]

You are way too smart/talented/successful to be worrying about this girl. End it and move on. Fully develop yourself before taking on a really serious relationship because then you'll have the best version of yourself to offer. I can guarantee that neither she nor you are the best versions of yourselves yet and it may be best now to grow in your separate ways.

 

[kvvni]

That's your problem bro.
Dont be a perfect boyfriend.
Turn off your phone, go on a trip with your friend, get lost or drunk and turn on your phone 24 hours later.

P.S. Read some books like 365 dni so you can find out what kind of drama some girls need Your behavior is probably predictable that's why she says about routine, turn on bad boy mode

Yeah already did it today.

About 365 - it’s Polish production, we’ve been in cinema on that.

thank you for reply buddy! appreciate it. cheers

 

[kvvni]

You are way too smart/talented/successful to be worrying about this girl. End it and move on. Fully develop yourself before taking on a really serious relationship because then you'll have the best version of yourself to offer. I can guarantee that neither she nor you are the best versions of yourselves yet and it may be best now to grow in your separate ways.

Yeah, TRUE.

but...

imagine. I met her when I was only 16. Simple, skinny boy, I can say poor

Now?
I am buying an apartment, I have money, I have a Good body.
so I am sure she didn’t went on my money.

Imagine now, 21 years old boy with apartment and sport car it can be hard, just 2 cents from me.

she just called me to ask if I am okay (haven’t been on fb for 5 hours) and how I feel. I said I am OK and she asked am I in my friend house because she hear it.
She sounded like crying. I just can’t predict what she want. Fucking dissaster.

 

[kvvni]

Plenty more fish in the sea mate, you sound like you have the rest of your life sorted so maybe focus on you for a bit, not every relationship works, unfortunately.

Travel the world and do some fucked up shit while you're young, swim with the dolphins and dance with the monkeys, the world is your oyster

Loved last sentence. THANK YOU!

 

[Ninah]

Read some books like 365 dni so you can find out what kind of drama some girls need

About 365 - it’s Polish production, we’ve been in cinema on that.

Oh yes, 365 days, most hilarious book and movie ever:

@kvvni you have two options:

Option A - spice up your relationship, because your girlfriend, she's bored. And now, don't be sad about what I just wrote, it's not the end of the world....I am getting bored very easily, but it's just taking a few simple tricks for a guy to fix that;

Option B - move on.

But you are great young guy, who clearly has all ducks in the row, whatever you will do you will be fine. Trust me.