If Carpenters Were Hired Like Programmers

Conor

Elite Member
Joined
Nov 7, 2012
Messages
3,621
Reaction score
6,217
Interviewer: So, you're a carpenter, are you?
Carpenter: That's right, that's what I do.

Interviewer: How long have you been doing it?
Carpenter: Ten years.

Interviewer: Great, that's good. Now, I have a few technical questions to ask you to see if you're a fit for our team. OK?
Carpenter: Sure, that'd be fine.

Interviewer: First of all, we're working in a subdivision building a lot of brown houses. Have you built a lot of brown houses before?
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I build houses, and people pretty much paint them the way they want.

Interviewer: Yes, I understand that, but can you give me an idea of how much experience you have with brown? Roughly.
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know. Once they're built I don't care what color they get painted. Maybe six months?

Interviewer: Six months? Well, we were looking for someone with a lot more brown experience, but let me ask you some more questions.
Carpenter: Well, OK, but paint is paint, you know.

Interviewer: Yes, well. What about walnut?
Carpenter: What about it?

Interviewer: Have you worked much with walnut?
Carpenter: Sure, walnut, pine, oak, mahogony -- you name it.

Interviewer: But how many years of walnut do you have?
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know -- was I supposed to be counting the walnut?

Interviewer: Well, estimate for me.
Carpenter: OK, I'd say I have a year and a half of walnut.

Interviewer: Would you say you're an entry level walnut guy or a walnut guru?
Carpenter: A walnut guru? What's a walnut guru? Sure, I've used walnut.

Interviewer: But you're not a walnut guru?
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I've worked with all kinds of wood, you know, and there are some differences, but I think if you're a good carpenter ...

Interviewer: Yes, yes, but we're using Walnut, is that OK?
Carpenter: Walnut is fine! Whatever you want. I'm a carpenter.

Interviewer: What about black walnut?
Carpenter: What about it?

Interviewer: Well we've had some walnut carpenters in here, but come to find out they weren't black walnut carpenters. Do you have black walnut experience?
Carpenter: Sure, a little. It'd be good to have more for my resume, I suppose.

Interviewer: OK. Hang on let me check off the box...
Carpenter: Go right ahead.

Interviewer: OK, one more thing for today. We're using Rock 5.1 to bang nails with. Have you used Rock 5.1?
Carpenter: [Turning white...] Well, I know a lot of carpenters are starting to use rocks to bang nails with since Craftsman bought a quarry, but you know, to be honest I've had more luck with my nailgun. Or a hammer, for that matter. I find I hit my fingers too much with the rock, and my other hand hurts because the rock is so big.

Interviewer: But other companies are using rocks. Are you saying rocks don't work?
Carpenter: No, I'm not saying rocks don't work, exactly, it's just that I think nail guns work better.

Interviewer: Well, our architects have all started using rocks, and they like it.
Carpenter: Well, sure they do, but I bang nails all day, and -- well, look, I need the work, so I'm definitely willing to use rocks if you want. I try to keep an open mind.

Interviewer: OK, well we have a few other candidates we're looking at, so we'll let you know.
Carpenter: Well, thanks for your time. I enjoyed meeting you.

NEXT DAY:

Ring...

Interviewer: Hello?
Carpenter: Hello. Remember me, I'm the carpenter you interviewed for the black walnut job. Just wanted to touch base to see if you've made a decision.

Interviewer: Actually, we have. We liked your experience overall, but we decided to go with someone who has done a lot of work with brown.
Carpenter: Really, is that it? So I lost the job because I didn't have enough brown?

Interviewer: Well, it was partly that, but partly we got the other fellow a lot cheaper.
Carpenter: Really -- how much experience does he have?

Interviewer: Well, he's not really a carpenter, he's a car salesman -- but he's sold a lot of brown cars and he's worked with walnut interiors.
Carpenter: [click]

Source: http://www.jasonbock.net/jb/News/Item/7c334037d1a9437d9fa6506e2f35eaac
 
Had lots of fun reading this since my dad is a carpenter lol

So true though, most companies will also go with a computer science graduate with no prior experience since you know...they've got a degree so they are better than you.
 
Had lots of fun reading this since my dad is a carpenter lol

So true though, most companies will also go with a computer science graduate with no prior experience since you know...they've got a degree so they are better than you.

I find it funny how some companies have absolutely no idea what they actually need when hiring a web designer. They will literally post ALL the programming languages under their "required experience" section, because you know, all good web designers should know that crap.
 
I find it funny how some companies have absolutely no idea what they actually need when hiring a web designer. They will literally post ALL the programming languages under their "required experience" section, because you know, all good web designers should know that crap.

Full stack developers are what they need. One person that can handle all the tasks so only one person to blame if anything goes south :D
 
I find it funny how some companies have absolutely no idea what they actually need when hiring a web designer. They will literally post ALL the programming languages under their "required experience" section, because you know, all good web designers should know that crap.
I saw one like that recently. The job listed the following requirements for a $22,000/year position:
  • 5 years of demonstrated experience in Java, C, C++, C#, Python, Perl, Ruby, Delphi, R, MATLAB, CSS, HTML, PHP...
  • 3 years of increasingly responsible clerical duties.
  • 4 years of experience managing SQL databases.
  • 3 years of public contact
  • 5 years of cash-handling experience
  • A Bachelor's degree in computer science.
Applicants who do not meet the criteria above need not apply.
 
Lol or the one listed as 5 years exp for tech thats been out for 1 year
 
this sums it up for most coding job offers:

clients-expectation-and-budget.jpg
 
To be fair, the walnut experience should be required as different woods require different treatments.

  • 5 years of demonstrated experience in Java, C, C++, C#, Python, Perl, Ruby, Delphi, R, MATLAB, CSS, HTML, PHP, SQL...
  • A Bachelor's degree in computer science.
Applicants who do not meet the criteria above need not apply.

Holly mother of...

Individuals with that background are at least managers, if not directors or executives.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I just wanted to chime in, and let everyone know about a new product that is coming to the market soon. I'm supposed to keep quiet about it, but it's just too damned exciting to contain myself. The world might not be ready for it, but they'll get up to speed quick!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rock6.0 is in production, and will be available world wide! Don't be fooled, it's not just an updated version of Rock5.1, this is a brand new technology that has never been seen before. It's so effective, they used the prototypes to build the factories that are producing them!

Check out the specifications at www.rock6.com - you WONT be disappointed!

P.S. If you are able to find the secret sales page, they're sending out Special Edition Gold Rock 6.0 as an ode to those of you who are able to find the sales page! They thought they would be clever, and limit the availability by putting a content locker in to prove your pre-release worthiness.

hint: It's just a simple Java, C, C++, C#, Python, Perl, Ruby, Delphi, R, MATLAB, CSS, HTML, PHP test.
 
I just wanted to chime in, and let everyone know about a new product that is coming to the market soon. I'm supposed to keep quiet about it, but it's just too damned exciting to contain myself. The world might not be ready for it, but they'll get up to speed quick!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rock6.0 is in production, and will be available world wide! Don't be fooled, it's not just an updated version of Rock5.1, this is a brand new technology that has never been seen before. It's so effective, they used the prototypes to build the factories that are producing them!

Check out the specifications at www.rock6.com - you WONT be disappointed!

P.S. If you are able to find the secret sales page, they're sending out Special Edition Gold Rock 6.0 as an ode to those of you who are able to find the sales page! They thought they would be clever, and limit the availability by putting a content locker in to prove your pre-release worthiness.

hint: It's just a simple Java, C, C++, C#, Python, Perl, Ruby, Delphi, R, MATLAB, CSS, HTML, PHP test.
I've found many sales pages. None accept BTC
 
I've found many sales pages. None accept BTC
Clearly you didn't reach the actual sales page. It requires you to create your own SSL, checkout cart, and email auto responder, so that you send yourself a notification by email, when your product ships to you.

It's self served. Not complicated at all, which is what the owners wanted when they set out to build the website.

I would say they did a great job of making it like facebook, where you have user curated content, but with a much better reward in which you can build upon.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
So damn true. I deal with this crap nearly every day at my day job.
 
Internet have made it worse. People search a few things and start thinking they are an expert in the field.
 
Back
Top