[HAF] Need Someone to Demo My Kitchen

[BassTrackerBoats]

My spousal unit wants a new kitchen and thinks we can save a few dollars by tearing it down ourselves.

At my age (60) I have zero interest in being the demo guy so I want to hire someone to handle my share of that work and I'm sure she could care less who handles my end of the demo.

You'll need to be able to lift 75 pounds, handle a sledge hammer, carry cabinet parts, move appliances and drag flooring out to a dumpster which I'll put in the front driveway.

In addition to that you'll need to be able to take direction from my wife as the kitchen is her domain.

The kitchen is about 15 X 24 feet so there will be a fair amount of work.

Additionally, she has chosen a color for the living room and dining room areas. It only took her about 11 months to decide on that which could be considered a world record.

The LR is a decent size at about 20 X 30 feet and the dining room is around 15 X 15 feet so not real large.

We need that painted as well as replace the molding on the bottom and add crown molding to the entire area.

Again, that is my wife's domain so you would be following her orders and working to her specifications.

You'll need proper tools although I have a bunch here that you would be welcome to use should you need anything extra.

I'll pay you a fair wage, free food for the time you are working, access to the lake and my canoe, kayak and paddle boat, free tackle and use of all of our fishing gear and you are welcome to stay in our guest room + a reasonable hourly wage.

I'll even toss in free beer although I no longer drink so you'll be drinking alone should you choose that option.

Applicants must be willing to put up with 3 10 pound dogs that think that the entire universe revolves around them and should be prepared for hot and humid weather as well as be expected to provide top notch work as my wife deserves the best for putting up with the likes of me.

This is posted in the lounge because I am opening this up to any qualified member of BHW, even @nikchaing.

Please post your offers and qualifications below... any PMs will be deleted and result in immediate disqualification.

 

[MisterF]

Interested for sure,
I'll even climb down from Business Class to Premium Economy for the flight

You'll need to provide the C4 though, as it's getting a bitch to fly it in.

 

[Banned member 185991]

Me and my boy @nikchaing have got this man!

We will be there on monday, it will be done by 1pm!

We'll even remove those pesky supporting walls for you free of charge.

 

[rafark]

You forgot the most important pint: the applicants must live in where was it, Florida?

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

Interested for sure,
I'll even climb down from Business Class to Premium Economy for the flight

You'll need to provide the C4 though, as it's getting a bitch to fly it in.

I've seen you lounging at a pool and I'm not entirely sure that you are physically fit to handle the work but I am 100% sure that you could handle any of the beer supplied.

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

Me and my boy @nikchaing have got this man!

We will be there on monday, it will be done by 1pm!

We'll even remove those pesky supporting walls for you free of charge.

There is actually a wall of sorts that sticks out about 4 feet or so that she wants down. I am sure it is not a load bearing wall so you'll need to remove that as well.

I'll need pricing to consider you and your colleague please.

 

[Finn]

I've seen you lounging at a pool and I'm not entirely sure that you are physically fit to handle the work but I am 100% sure that you could handle any of the beer supplied.

Hire me BTB, I am 100% ready!​

 

[NoHypeNeeded]

I'm interested. Where are you at again? Florida via NJ like me right?

Don't even need half of those amenities lol. Let me know, I have construction/carpentry/demo experience as well.

 

[Topiano]

I could do all for free Beer ! You only need to pay our VISA ! I'm coming with the crew ; ALL HAILS BTB !

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

Hire me BTB, I am 100% ready!​

Would you be supplying any entertainment as part of the package?

 

[Zwielicht]

Sure, I'll do it. Here are my terms and conditions:

• $50/hour to do the work.
• You need to pay for the petrol I need to go to Florida. My car gets 15 MPG and I'm about 2,500 miles away from you.
• You need to have a safe space away from magnets and moisture for my little Seiko 5 watch. It's not a Rolex, but I cherish it like it was.
• I will require the use of your garage for my car, preferably with a heater if it gets cold.
• I will require the use of a closet for my clothing. Drawers will not suffice.

As my cat will be coming along, here are my cat's terms and conditions:

• She will require a window sill that receives ample sunlight.
• Before she arrives, you will be required to stock up on wet cat food, which must be warmed up using a bit of hot water, otherwise she will not eat it.
• My cat has an office chair that I will ship over to you. It's a black office chair that she has owned since she was a kitten. Nobody is allowed to sit on it except the cat.
• All doors, except those leading outside, must remain open at all times. The cat requires full access to the house.

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

I'm interested. Where are you at again? Florida via NJ like me right?

Don't even need half of those amenities lol. Let me know, I have construction/carpentry/demo experience as well.

Yes, North Central Florida... I'm not sure I want a former NJ guy though as I know that type. They hit on my wife all the time.

I could do all for free Beer ! You only need to pay our VISA ! I'm coming with the crew ;

Your pricing is very attractive and it looks like the crew you have would do fine in my neck of the woods.

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

Sure, I'll do it. Here are my terms and conditions:

• $50/hour to do the work.
• You need to pay for the petrol I need to go to Florida. My car gets 15 MPG and I'm about 2,500 miles away from you.
• You need to have a safe space away from magnets and moisture for my little Seiko 5 watch. It's not a Rolex, but I cherish it like it was.
• I will require the use of your garage for my car, preferably with a heater if it gets cold.
• I will require the use of a closet for my clothing. Drawers will not suffice.

As my cat will be coming along, here are my cat's terms and conditions:

• She will require a window sill that receives ample sunlight.
• Before she arrives, you will be required to stock up on wet cat food, which must be warmed up using a bit of hot water, otherwise she will not eat it.
• My cat has an office chair that I will ship over to you. It's a black office chair that she has owned since she was a kitten. Nobody is allowed to sit on it except the cat.
• All doors, except those leading outside, must remain open at all times. The cat requires full access to the house.

50.00 per hour?

You think this is Southern California?

 

[Luminesce]

Hire me BTB, I am 100% ready!​

What a good friend, there's real trust in this friendship!
All mine would have jumped off.

Would love to help out with the kitchen, but damn id have to learn to swim across the ocean lol. Might be a little tired if I manage to make it there

 

[Zwielicht]

50.00 per hour?

You think this is Southern California?

That's the part you thought was outrageous?

Really?

 

[Finn]

Would you be supplying any entertainment as part of the package?

Of course, entertainment is included. Little preview:​

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

What a good friend, there's real trust in this friendship!
All mine would have jumped off.

Would love to help out with the kitchen, but damn id have to learn to swim across the ocean lol.

If you can't swim we can't have you. Should you fall off my dock and not be able to swim to shore I would have to rescue you and that would come out of your pay.

 

[NoHypeNeeded]

I'm in North Central Florida, I'm prob no more than 30 mins away from you lmao.

I can absolutely promise I won't hit on your wife, quite fine with mine, and I doubt you're married to J-Lo.

Seriously B2B, I do have experience, I'm prob stupid close to you, and I honestly don't need half of what you posted lol. Let me know my friend, I'd love to work with ya.

 

[BassTrackerBoats]

I'm in North Central Florida, I'm prob no more than 30 mins away from you lmao.

I can absolutely promise I won't hit on your wife, quite fine with mine, and I doubt you're married to J-Lo.

Seriously B2B, I do have experience, I'm prob stupid close to you, and I honestly don't need half of what you posted lol. Let me know my friend, I'd love to work with ya.

My wife is hotter than J-Lo.

*This is a parody thread for a Friday afternoon to keep things light around here.

 

[Luminesce]

If you can't swim we can't have you. Should you fall off my dock and not be able to swim to shore I would have to rescue you and that would come out of your pay.

At least you're honest.
Other employers would have put that in the fine print