Your most awkward/embarassing moment?

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I decided to get pretty smashed one night, when i got back the wife moaned at me real good. She really p*ssed me off, so when I got up next morning, and I really had to fart, I got up and went to her side of the bed to get closest to her face. I thought..?take this!?, dropped my shorts and let fart fly?​
Well, it was wet and loaded! Shit all over her face and arms. Scared, I jumped over the bed and took a shower. I heard her shouting ?watch out for the damn dog, he just sh*t all over everything!?. I heard a yelp and she was swinging the dog by the tail and threw his poor ass outside.​
I finally confessed a few weeks later.​
Now Im the one living in the doghouse

Man this is the funniest and dirtiest , Read it like 10 times by now and laughed hard everytime :D
 
Mine was not a biggie: back in the day when I was 17 I mixed weed with shrooms during some huge high school party...ended up drinking vodka from the bottle and passing out/vomiting all over the place and trying to pick up this local celeb who was also at the party...sober.

Maybe it was a positive thing cause after about a year I stopped doing drugs. Damn...now I even barely drink wine.
 
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haha, the last time I did Shrooms/weed/alchohol I ended up galloping through the woods where we were partying thinking I was a horse, literally, I thought I was a horse. I ran into a tree and smashed my face all up. I just said I tripped...

I don't drink or do drugs anymore lol.
 
I decided to get pretty smashed one night, when i got back the wife moaned at me real good. She really p*ssed me off, so when I got up next morning, and I really had to fart, I got up and went to her side of the bed to get closest to her face. I thought..?take this!?, dropped my shorts and let fart fly?​
Well, it was wet and loaded! Shit all over her face and arms. Scared, I jumped over the bed and took a shower. I heard her shouting ?watch out for the damn dog, he just sh*t all over everything!?. I heard a yelp and she was swinging the dog by the tail and threw his poor ass outside.​
I finally confessed a few weeks later.​
Now Im the one living in the doghouse

I am crying right now this shit is funny as hell. :D
 
I was in the gym a couple of years back and while working out the smallest fart ever managed to slip through. It was like a millisecond I swear. I thought - hah that's not gonna smell- HOW WRONG I WAS.:fart:

A couple of seconds later my nose got hit with the worst smelling fart I had ever experienced. Needless to say, the gym was full....and I was in the middle. Soon, everyone started backing away while holding their noses and asking in loud voices "where the fuck does this smell come from?". I just continued to pull on those dumbbells like nothing ever happened.:D
 
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Senoir year in high school me and the boys went out and got shit faced drinking whiskey all night. Next day I had a legion baseball game. As I started warming up I felt like I had to fart and all of a sudden I felt hot steamy diarrhea coming out. I run to the bathroom to check the damage. Not good...huge brown stain on my white baseball pants. So I scramble to try and slide and scrape some dirt on it to make it look like a dirt stain.

It just so happened that I was the starting pitcher that day, and a girl I was in love with was definitely coming to the game.

So we get to the 2nd or 3rd inning and I am thinking I am pulling the whole "dirt stain" ruse off. Then Bobby fucking Weiseman yells from all the way down at the end of the bench..."yo Stover did you shit your fucking pants dude"? The cat was out of the bag at that point. My boys still bring it up when we are hanging out.
 
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