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Why am I so Self Conscious in Public?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by dafaqq, Jun 12, 2012.

  1. dafaqq

    dafaqq Newbie

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    I have been facing this problem for past 2 years and it was initiated due to some personal issues which totally shattered my confidence and I could'nt even show my face to my neighbors(No i didn't murder anyone, but something bad happened)

    After that I used to stay at home for long and then I stopped talking to outsiders.

    Now after 2 years this problem has increased. This is what i face daily

    1) I feel very conscious on what people will think when I walk this way.
    2) what will my parent's think if I talk on the phone this way.
    3) Am I walking right or Am I acting stupid?
    4) I can't speak to any relatives. Not sure whether its shyness because I can do it infront of one person or the one whom i know..like my close friends

    I really dont know why this is happening to me...I had some past failures too as I mentioned in past of my thread(You can check my thread that I created)

    should I consult the doctor? My parent's don't seem to understand my problem or maybe my problem is too common that they feel its quite normal.

    But its kinda killing me from inside as I am VERY VERY self conscious of everything i do. Sometimes even infront of my parents...

    How can I become better? I know this isnt any psychology forum but I think I can get some help from my peers as I am also an imer and I feel comfortable while working unlike when I visit outside
     
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  2. JimmyWong

    JimmyWong Registered Member

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    You've severe anxiety. Pretty much everyone has it in some form at some point of their life.

    - You need to tell yourself that you don't give a crap about what anyone else thinks.
    - Don't oversleep.
    - Don't smoke weed.
    - Exercise.

    The above will help. Good luck.
     
  3. toptips44

    toptips44 Regular Member

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    Mental health is a serious issue. You should go talk to a doctor and a psychologist. It will help you heaps.
     
  4. nothingmore

    nothingmore Junior Member

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    I don't know what you did but you just have to move on.

    A lot of the things you are worrying about don't matter at all. Walk how you want to walk. Talk how you want to talk. Be nice to your parents.

    I used to over think everything in my early high school years but now I realize there was no reason to think like that. Think positive. Watch some self motivating videos, read self help books, etc.
     
  5. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Yes. Whenever we have problem we see an expert about it, because that 's the surest way to get rid of the problem and go on with life. This is the normal thing to do and you should be proud you are taking steps to fix things in your life. You do repair you pc, right? You do repair you car? If you care about things, you care about you, so you need to take the proper steps to "fix" you.

    Make some research on the doctors in your area if possible and choose someone who you will feel more relaxed with (maybe an old person?). When you decide to go, do not get embarrassed about anything, you need to tell them everything. Then follow their advice to the letter. If you don't trust one doctor, you can always get a second opinion.

    You must regain confidence in your self. And confidence comes from the unshaken, religious belief to you. No one else matters unless you want them to matter. Their thoughts have no value, their words have no meaning. Only what you allow.
     
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  6. ShadeDream

    ShadeDream Elite Member

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    Slightly off topic, but I was wondering what's your life path number? You can check it out at:

    Code:
    http://seventhlifepath.com/
     
  7. michaelr1988

    michaelr1988 Regular Member

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    Dont put so much weight on what people think of you. If they dont like you they can go to hell. When you start thinking like this your confidence grows on its own.
     
  8. deathripper

    deathripper Junior Member

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    I have the same problem sometimes. I feel awkward being with girls and I'm not comfortable with a lot of people around me. I can never seem to keep a conversation going and sometimes I find it hard to socialize with others.
     
  9. Nato1

    Nato1 Regular Member

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    do as he says! but i would put exercise on number one. working out will give you a huge confident boost after a few weeks, it will make you feel good.
     
  10. techcrunked

    techcrunked Regular Member

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    weed is the answer my man. the wonderful herb that has been solving insecurities since thousands of years
     
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  11. flymethod

    flymethod Regular Member

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    I can totally relate man. It sounds like social anxiety and it is irrational, but that doesn't mean it isn't real. If it's affecting your life in a negative way you should seek help! You don't have to suffer silently. You could try therapy first. Only resort to medication as a last option if possible.
     
  12. curphey

    curphey BANNED BANNED

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    Hey man I know you don't know me but if you need to talk skype me anytime promomymixtape
     
  13. justin631

    justin631 Newbie

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    When I was 14 or 15 I was watching TV, and I don't even remember what I was watching, it might have been a comedian, but I've lived by it ever since. Stress free, and enjoying the hell out of life. Why wait until your 60 to learn this? :)

     
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  14. hassan_isabad_subar

    hassan_isabad_subar Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I would put a lot of weight into what jimmywong is saying.

    The first bulleted point will come in time. Like he said, don't over sleep. The more you do this, the deeper you'll sink. The smoking weed is a given if you're smoking, weed for some people will trigger panic attacks. Exercise! Start getting on a schedule with it, lift weights or do cardio! Better yet, both. Any time you feel like crap, go for a jog or a bike ride. Teach yourself that when those feelings start coming up, it's because you have too much time.

    Ultimately, these feelings are popping up from probably 3 things. Either past trauma/imprinting, Isolation and having too much time on your hands to over analyze your life. Exercise will help fill in some of those gaps, it may or may not make you a more social person BUT it will make you feel better about yourself.
     
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  15. jb2008

    jb2008 Senior Member

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    You should really consult a doctor / psychiatrist about this as soon as possible. It would be one of the best things you ever do. Let us know how it goes.
     
  16. Halilovic-Squad

    Halilovic-Squad Regular Member

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    telling people, facing a serious proplem, to start doing drugs is really awesome...
    ...NOT !

    seriously man...
    ...WTF?!?
     
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  17. marusia

    marusia Senior Member

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    This right here. If you are going through those types of thoughts, they are irrational and something only a professional should be helping you with. Mental health has a very serious effect on our well-being, whether someone admits it or not. Going to a psychologist would be your best bet. They can see what's going on and refer you to a psychiatrist if need be, as well as help you talk out your problems and see the root cause so they can try and help you fix it.
     
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  18. SH3RMAN

    SH3RMAN Junior Member

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    last year summer i was like you exactly..
    You can smoke weed there is no problem with this (i smoked more than 20 cones per day in this period xD)

    I think internet have a important part in your anxiety, and mine too last year
    You should stay away from computers some days and go out with friends.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2012
  19. johnny_wadd

    johnny_wadd Registered Member

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    Try to re encode your thought process. Firstly, how do you know when to feel to start feeling this way? How do you know that you're not feeling confident and the feelings you're getting are a result of happy anticipation.

    When you start to have these feelings your mind will make pictures. These pictures will most probably depict you in some kind of terrifying situation. The good think about thoughts and feelings is that you can change them by simply practising something different!

    Picture a scene in your mind where you're in the situation you don't want to be. Then run the picture backwards in your mind. This must be done as fast as you can. You could play some funny background music with it too. Keep doing this until this situation no longer bothers you. Now try it with everything, that worries you. What you are doing is re encoding it in your mind. Things lose their power when run in reverse.
     
  20. Wealthy Wisdom

    Wealthy Wisdom Power Member

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    I bet somebody on this forum has this topic on a MNS haha

    I used to be like this all through high school since I got teased a lot in junior high, etc but although I was constantly thinking what people were thinking about me I wanted to show off and so what I did was thought to be "bad" behavior because I wanted to fit in and be "cool" for kids at school to accept and like me...this lead me to selling drugs, fights, drinking, leaving parents house, stealing, yeeeaahh just an all around bad path and still had that uncomfortable feeling whenever I went out just having these really stupid thoughts all the time

    after high school I was still an immature asshole just not as bad since I didn't have to be around teens all day and try to impress them just my friends which eventually I started to stray away from and month by month it got easier dealing with people I didn't know and people I did know...

    I'd have to say this was achieved by enrolling to college, exercising a lot more frequently, finding something that I like to do to keep my mind focused on it, i'm not even gonna lie to you... I made my penis bigger naturally even though it was some hard work put into that but the outcome is amazing...sex feels so much better and plus the look on my girls face is priceless when I beat that kitty up LOL

    Hope you get things taken care of man! peace