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Whats Wrong With My Salespage?!

Discussion in 'White Hat SEO' started by exclusivecj, Nov 9, 2010.

  1. exclusivecj

    exclusivecj Newbie

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    Hi guys I was having trouble with this website converting. I think my salescopy alright but iunno, could someone give me a hand. Client Ultimatum dot com
     
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  2. exclusivecj

    exclusivecj Newbie

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    If you could tell me if im missing anything or if I need to tweak something that would help. Thanks.
     
  3. NawtyAtNight

    NawtyAtNight Junior Member

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    I would switch the top video with one of the bottom ones. Bottom videos look like I can trust the guys in them. First guy has a hat and a raggedy shirt. It also looks like it has too much on the page. You want to make it with jsut enough info so that the visitor would want to buy your report because he is left with the impression that he needs the rest of the info that he will get ones he buys your product.

    Whats your traffic vs conversion look like? How else have you promoted? Have you tried creatinga Facebook/twitter to drive traffic?
     
  4. Marcink99

    Marcink99 Power Member

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    I would make your template wider maybe 8 posters per row? Also I would put some text on the site or get one of those nice baners with a slogan.
     
  5. IamNRE

    IamNRE Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I would wait to hear from the pros, or maybe designers rather than from people with 2 posts lol.

    To me it looks fine, but then again I have never made a landing page so I can not tell why yours is not converting.

    All the best tho.
     
  6. NawtyAtNight

    NawtyAtNight Junior Member

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    " I would wait to hear from the pros, or maybe designers rather than from people with 2 posts lol. -IamNRE "

    Gee!! Thanks!!.

    BTW I was looking at it from a visitors point of view.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2010
  7. alejandro p

    alejandro p Registered Member

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    1. Your page take 10 years to load. I have no clue what that's all about, but you should definitely work on minimizing load time.
    2. The audio is so monotone is actually abrasive. I actually like your (i'm assuming) voice, almost has this laurence fishbourne type seriousness to it, but you're so monotone it actually hurts to listen to.
    3. What the hell does "Drive Clients Rapidly" mean? Is this a service that helps taxi drivers drive faster?
    4. Why would you use such a meaningless phrase so frequently. Work on a captivating headline that captures attention.
    5. Have ONE main headline. When I see your page I see 2 headlines simultanaously (the 1 right under the logo, and the 1 to the left of the software image in the feature box). After I scroll down, I amazingly find a THIRD headline "Underground Freelancer Exploits.." As a result I effectively see NONE of the headlines. Personally, I'd have the headline in the feature section because that's where my eyes gravitate, or get rid of the featurebox altogether.
    6. If the video is so important to your pitch that you would have it autoplay, why would you put it below the fold?
    7. I feel like you like how "cool" the feature box is, but haven't actually considered its value to your visitors. As of right now, I'm pretty sure there's no value considering that a feature box should help me understand your product quickly, whereas I cant understand your product at all.
    8. The copywriting is a bit lackluster- i.e. "...How he Turned His Failing Business into a 6 Figure Business in 1 Year." You may as well have said "How he Turned his Failing Piece of Crap into a 6 Figure Piece of Crap." Differentiate the end result PROFOUNDLY. In 1 year, it should no longer be a business, it should be a CASH COW, PROFIT ENGINE, PROFIT AVALANCHE. Use powerful metaphors to create a truly captivating & compelling offer for your prospects.

    Without doing a full audit, which I do professionally for lots of money :D, these tips should make your page convert a LOT better.

    With all of that said, take it as tough love. You've put in a substantial amount of time into this and people which puts you ahead of 95% of the competition. Props.
     
  8. m0nster

    m0nster Senior Member

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    yea the speed man for real. alejandro has some great points listen to him. also the audio is too long it think, some of the stuff towards the end i stop listening. i also didnt watch the video, i scrolled down and read stuff as i went along and listened. after awhile i started to ignore the audio. maybe try and get the most important points in and then let the text do the in-depth explaniations. you should probably sacrafice your fancy text with highlighting and underlining with text and css
    best of luck
     
  9. DimaKritchevski

    DimaKritchevski Registered Member

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    In all seriousness though dude,

    You need to be much clearer about the positioning of your offer...

    Who are you targeting?

    And is your voice and tone suitable to your target market?

    Is your target market even READY to hear what you have to say?

    For most "freelancers" the idea of earning 6 figures a year by automating their business, becoming a boss, and building a team is completely outside of their reality.

    Heck, many freelancers aren't even responsible enough to meet a freakin' deadline and the burden of responsibility associated with running that sort of business will SCARE them the hell away.

    On the other hand if the headline for your site read...

    "How You Can Start Getting Paid $50 Per Hour As A Freelance Article Writer In 7 Days Or Less - Guaranteed!"

    Then basically every freelance article writer who read it would read further!

    Why?

    Because it's something they actually WANT. Who doesn't want to get 3-5 times more money for doing the same thing?

    I get it that you're trying to sell the whole "freelancing is stressful, and it's better to be a business owner" idea... the truth is many freelancers just don't feel "ready" for that.

    A guy far smarter then me once said "you gotta sell em' what they want, then give em what they need"

    ... what they want is tricks, quick-fixes, instant gratification.

    "How To Earn $50 Per Hour Writing Articles"

    Or something like...

    Attention: Freelance writers, link builders and designers...

    "Here's How I Signed Up 57 New Clients In Just 30 Days And How You Can Explode You're Freelance Business, No Matter Your Industry, Using The Exact Same Step-By-Step Methods"

    There's another headline idea that would work!

    The last point I'll make, is you should avoid the hype filled "Internet Marketing" style of salesletter... in non IM niches hype is usually a recipe for failure..

    Lookup Bob Bly and see his style of copywriting... he's considered one of the best copywriters in the world... he uses NO HYPE.

    Lookup Clayton Makepeace, he's the highest paid copywriter in the world, also uses practically no hype.

    Lookup Jason Fladlien, one of the best damn copywriters in the internet marketing Niche whose salesletter regularly get a 7-10% conversion rate... VERY little hype!

    Learn from what I've said and what others here have said... and if you want this product to be a success you're going to have to reposition it completely.

    If what I've said makes sense to you, I have MUCH more I can help you with for the price of a decent dinner on the town (or a shitload of beer which is what I'll probably end up spending the money on :p) if you're interested... PM me about it and we'll organize an hour long skype session or however long it takes to break down exactly what you need to do.
     
  10. dirtymink

    dirtymink Newbie

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    I have a web designer if you'd like that can tweek it
     
  11. sukataetumba

    sukataetumba Senior Member

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    some good points by DimaKritchevski

    it is exactly why you need to do market research. most importantly for the make money niche.

    if you target the wrong people or rank the wrong keywords, it wont really matter how nice your design looks or how great the offer is.