What Would You Do?

Today I went to bring my scrap gold and silver to my friend for melting. He also gets vintage costume jewelry in bulk and I go through it once or twice a week and buy what I want. I got a lot today and filled up a box. I know much, much more about vintage jewelry than my friend does, so I help him too. If I find something expensive (vintage costume jewelry is sometimes more expensive than 14k) in his boxes that he is still going through because it just came in, then I help him identify it. He sells what he thinks is worth a lot on ebay. But since he is not that educated in vintage costume, he lets a lot of excellent items go into the sale boxes that shouldn't. I tried to tell him a million times not to sell such and such for a dollar and to get it out of the dollar sale boxes, but he always says "If it's there, I don't want it." Fine. I tried.

Okay. So today he just got in a big batch and he was going through it at his desk. He had not put it out yet. I was going through his sale boxes, and every two minutes I hear "redrubies, what is this?", "Is this one good?" etc One of the things I stopped dead in my tracks for. It is a very rare piece that is worth about $4,000. I told him all about it, including the history. I wrote it all down so he would remember. I told him to include all that in his ebay auction.

Important to add in...he does not want anyone to know what his ebay account is. He feels like it's not right for someone to bring something in thinking that he will scrap it (gold, not costume), and he sells it on ebay. I don't have a problem with it and wouldn't be mad, but I guess some people would. But it's his personal rule, so I don't judge.

I go on my merry way and get home to find an email from him thanking me and telling me that he just put it on ebay. I stalk ebay and find what he put up. He put it up for under ten dollars with the stupidest description I ever did see. NOTHING in there that I wrote down. No history, no signature, no time period, nothing. It was as stupid as "This is a necklace with birds on it. It's 18" long." I made that up because I don't want anyone looking for it on ebay.

Now my dilemma. I want that piece of jewelry. Badly. I obviously can't buy it on ebay because if I buy it for cheap, he is going to think that I am taking advantage of him. He knows I know how much it's worth. It is not going to sell on ebay for 4k or anywhere near it because of his half ass backwards description. I don't know if I should tell him that I stalked ebay to find him because he doesn't want anyone to know what his ebay account is. My friend said that she would buy it on ebay but that seems sneaky and like I backstabbed my friend. Or no? I don't know. What should I do?

You should buy it of course, ... if you did not tell him it's value .... then it would be dishonest.
This is a public auction, you have every moral right to bid. ..... if you were the high bidder he should be happy for you.

TJnoodles said:

You should buy it of course, ... if you did not tell him it's value .... then it would be dishonest.
This is a public auction, you have every moral right to bid. ..... if you were the high bidder he should be happy for you.

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How do I gently tell him that I tracked him down on ebay when he doesn't want anyone to know what his ebay is? Also, it seems odd to bid on ebay for it when I see him twice a week and I could just go in there and give him the money for it. Lastly, why did he not just say "Give me ten dollars and it's yours"?

Get your friend to buy it.
You tried to help the guy and he didn't listen.
I don't think there is any moral dilemma here as you gave him good advice but you can't hold his hand.
He doesn't seem to take his business seriously.
Sounds like he is only interested in the value of scrap gold.
You should offer to sell all his costume stuff for him and split the profits.

Some people are dumb. You can't do anything about it. Get a middle man to buy all the stuff he is selling. Then sell it on your own and show that guy the real worth of it. When he will see the $$$, only then he will realize.

W130SN said:

Get your friend to buy it.
You tried to help the guy and he didn't listen.
I don't think there is any moral dilemma here as you gave him good advice but you can't hold his hand.
He doesn't seem to take his business seriously.
Sounds like he is only interested in the value of scrap gold.
You should offer to sell all his costume stuff for him and split the profits.

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What I bolded...I say the same thing. He really doesn't take any care in the costume. All he cares about is the scrap gold and silver. I have tried to tell him that he needs to educate himself more on vintage costume because it is worth more than the gold at times, but it goes in one ear and out the other.

Stupidity can't be analyzed, some people just don't get it ! he is happy ..... enjoy the source!

W130SN said:

Get your friend to buy it.
You tried to help the guy and he didn't listen.
I don't think there is any moral dilemma here as you gave him good advice but you can't hold his hand.

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That ^ is what I would do. You tried to enlighten him, which is something not many people would have done. Other than that, when you go to Ebay it's pure business.

Where is dilemma? Now that you know his account buy other things he sell for $5-$10, that you think worth more. Screw him, my friends wouldn't sell something for $10 if I have just told them that this costs $4K

Get your friend to buy it, split the profits.

???

Profit.

Last night before bed, I was getting irritated so I sent him an email. I wanted to open up dialogue to see if he would tell me why he did something so stupid. I was not irritated in the email. I simply wished him luck on his auction and told him that I was very excited for him that he got such a good find. He emailed me back and told me that another person told him it was something different, so he listed it cheap and didn't care what it sold for. I didn't argue. I just said "Well I could be wrong" and left it at that. Whatever. I know that I'm not wrong. I don't want to cause waves because he helps to butter my bread, and he is also a friend. But I don't feel morally wrong about having my other friend bid on this because this man obviously doesn't care about his costume jewelry. There are a couple of other people who go in there to do the same thing that I do. I watch them. They are very quiet when they take dollar bags. I know what they are taking and know what they are thinking, and they never say a word to him regarding what he just put in the bags. But I try to help. From now on, I'm not going to help. If he doesn't care about his business, then I'm not going to either.

Hi OP, i dont mean to be rude here, but i think a friend should protect his/her friend from their own stupidity...

belalang said:

Hi OP, i dont mean to be rude here, but i think a friend should protect his/her friend from their own stupidity...

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You're not being rude. You are entitled to those feelings. I also feel that friends should protect each other. But what else am I supposed to do? I tried many times to guide him. He does not listen.

Well, think it like this -

First - If you don't buy it cheap, someone else will. And then the buyer would resell it at it's right price. In this case it's a pure loss of $3990.

Second - You buy it. Sell it at it's appropriate price. Get the money. Give it to your friend after cutting the expenses. In this case money stays with you.

You would be more of a stupid not to help the friend who is not interested.

Lastly, either your friend is "mentally cracked" or he is a "saint" who doesn't want money.

OP, you can be subtle... Like make a bet that if he successfully sell that item exactly like u said it would, then you would give him <insert your prize here>... ...

If he is only interested in scrap gold and silver then get a deal with him and buy all his non-gold/silver jewelry.

if he refused then just fuck him off , why are you helping if he not gives a fuck to your advice ?

i also found some one like him. I tried to help him , but he not gave a fuck to my advice and i just left.
some people are just like that and can't be changed.

You're not being rude. You are entitled to those feelings. I also feel that friends should protect each other. But what else am I supposed to do? I tried many times to guide him. He does not listen.

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So, you want to listen "Do it" ? , then what are you waiting for ?
-=-

I would not even use my friends account. I would buy it off them, sell it and simply say "I told you so".

prab1996 said:

If he is only interested in scrap gold and silver then get a deal with him and buy all his non-gold/silver jewelry.

if he refused then just fuck him off , why are you helping if he not gives a fuck to your advice ?

i also found some one like him. I tried to help him , but he not gave a fuck to my advice and i just left.
some people are just like that and can't be changed.
-=-

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I could buy everything now for a fraction of the cost, but I would rather go through each piece since there is a lot of junk too. Regarding your last sentence...I know exactly what you mean. Some people just don't care and they can't be changed.