I lost two of the closest people in my life in the last 2 years. I miss them, and life will never be same without them.
The only thing I can do wish and pray that I be reunited with them when I die.
But like everyone here, I have responsibilities too, people are depending on me to deliver, to put food on the
table etc. So I have to do what it takes to complete my duties.
Also, the mentality of "I am not a big fan of money" is toxic and self defeating you are lying to yourself.
Money is not the be all, end all of everything, but it definitely is something you should be a fan of.
Money solves almost all problems and is an answer to your current problem.
Before you go running down any road, do a SWOT analysis on yourself.
1. What are your strengths / skills ?
2. What are your weaknesses ?
3. What opportunities do you have that matches your strengths ?
4. What are the threats that you are facing right now ?
Be honest to yourself, write down the analysis on a paper, take time to do the analysis.
Do not do it, when you are frustrated or angry.
Do it multiple times and compare and may be you will find your path.