What is the best article writer/spinner/submitter

I suck at writing article, I'd rather just skip the whole process, and submitting takes too much time. What article writer have you guy's found to work 100% of the time. Also, if you know any spinners and submitters that'd be great. Hell, just list THE best paid tools, because I know the free ones aren't that great. I'm ready to invest into black hat seo. Thanks.