What do you think about this seo-techniques?

I found this site where the blogwriter stated that 5 techniques he describes result in a better serp. Did someone test this techniques and can say a word how useful it is?

Heres the link: (Im not affiliated)

Gayish

What a load!

They are all useless? ... Ok...

Getting links from authority directories (or any kind of links from authority sites) is valid.

Thats all waaaay too behind the scenes, if G is looking for relevant information to serve to users WHY THE HELL would they care about ANY of this crap?

All wrong IMO, every word of it is just blind leading the blind and I am laughing because I know I would have followed his advice a couple years ago and it kinda makes me sad at the same time...

If anyone thinks some of this is true please tell us about it, but other than that... all BS 100%