"What do you do?"

roccoobertinoo

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Out of most of my friends, I'm the only one who doesn't have a "job".
By job I mean going somewhere to work for someone else and make $8.50 an hour working 30-40 hours a week.

So if I'm talking to one of my friends or someone new and I am asked, "Where do you work?" I just draw a blank. I usually make up something different each time I'm asked cause I don't know what to say.

I do CPA lock site type of stuff. Obviously if I tell someone that they won't have an idea what that means.
If I tell someone I'm an online marketer and they ask "What do you market" and I just draw a blank.
If I explain what I do to someone they'll say "That's easy, can you do that for me?"

The question I have is, what do you say when asked "What do you do?" I just can't ever think of what to say when asked this question.
 
You can go down two routes:

1. Confuse them with technical description, they don't understand but you get some respect because it "sounds technical", and you end up being labelled in their mind as a technical person.
2. Dumb it down for them, tell them you deal with websites and Google, they might understand it a bit more, but have less respect and label you as a "website guy".

I go for number 1.
 
"I own an Internet marketing company that primarily focuses on search engine optimisation, which is the manipulation of a website's position in the search engine results pages by catering or abusing flaws in a search engine's algorithm. My company works with small businesses to achieve lasting results that will benefit their businesses by providing exposure through organic search and more leads, which could later result in more conversions".

That shuts people up.
 
"I own an Internet marketing company that primarily focuses on search engine optimisation, which is the manipulation of a website's position in the search engine results pages by catering or abusing flaws in a search engine's algorithm. My company works with small businesses to achieve lasting results that will benefit their businesses by providing exposure through organic search and more leads, which could later result in more conversions".

That shuts people up.

I've actually used that one before. Definitely shuts them up but sometimes leads to the question, "How do you do that?"
 
It usually depends with the person. If they have some idea with internet marketing, they wont ask lots of questions when you tell them you are into Internet marketing. If they dont get it, just give them a mind twister to confuse them and they wont ask any more questions.
 
"How do you do that?"

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I tell them I am on benefits, so it annoys them that I am away for the best part of the year and have a nice house. Failing that I tell them I am a rent boy. Either story gets the same look of disgust.

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]
I say I'm an Internet Marketer, I'm the guy who asks you if you want a bigger penis !
[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]No thanks, the one I have got is already crippling my back. [/FONT]
 
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I've actually used that one before. Definitely shuts them up but sometimes leads to the question, "How do you do that?"
"I do this using a wide-range of Internet marketing tools that work to determine the estimated search competition by comparing my clients' websites and the websites of their competitors based on a variety of factors coalesced with my own knowledge on the inner-workings of search engines, search engine optimisation, and Internet marketing as a whole".
 
I've told some friends that I get a huge amount of people to websites.
 
"What do you do?"
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"Sit around all day playing video games and watching movies"
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"So, how do you make a living off of that?"
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"I just leave my PC going."
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"Oh.. okay."
 
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