Want A Man's Opinion

Some of you know that I'm a woman. Since a lot of men are here, I'd like to hear your opinions on this. Today, I was at my friend's little shop. I took scrap gold and silver and he melts it. The front of his shop is all glass. We were chatting away and we heard screaming, so I went to the glass to take a look. A man and a woman were arguing. She was screaming and crying, actually. He wasn't yelling. My friend was behind the counter going through the scrap and he wanted to know what was going on, so I kind of gave him a play by play. "There is a woman outside screaming and crying. She's fighting with a man." seconds later... "He just grabbed her arm. If he hits her, I'm going out there and saying something, then beat him." friend-"So will I. That's one thing I don't go for, a man hitting a woman." seconds later..."She just socked him!" He didn't hit her back. He seems awfully patient. I think he had just grabbed her arm to get her attention." seconds later..."Oh! She just kicked him in the family jewels. He's going down." friend "Ohhhhhhh that hurts." seconds later..."She left." Tonight I started to feel guilty and hypocritical. In my head, I know that domestic violence can work two ways. It's not always the man who hits a woman. It could be the other way around. I was ready to go out there and beat him if he hit her, and so was my friend who is male. But neither of us did anything when it was the woman hurting the man. I feel bad now. What would you do? Is there one sex you would go out there and stick up for, both sexes, or neither sex?

Domestic violence does go both ways and in most cases, a female abusing a man can be extremely hard for the man. It is less common for a man to seek help for it because they are seen as weak. Violence, under no circumstance is okay in my opinion and although I couldn't react to violence with violence, I would let whoever is involved know that what they are doing is not okay. I once broke up a lesbian fight where one was holding the other. I yelled in her face and she let her girlfriend go.

Meh...if I saw things were going out of hand then I might have gone out and separated them. But I normally don't get in between two love birds arguing or fighting. No matter how bad it looks, because sooner or later they end up on the same bed again lol. I guess it depends on the situation though.

Off Topic: Curious about your name...redrubies. :naughty:

professional20 said:

Meh...if I saw things were going out of hand then I might have gone out and separated them. But I normally don't get in between two love birds arguing or fighting. No matter how bad it looks, because sooner or later they end up on the same bed again lol. I guess it depends on the situation though.

Off Topic: Curious about your name...redrubies. :naughty:

Click to expand...

yeah, same here bro...don't know what they'll say....sometimes people are like "who the f**k are you to interrupt us?", when we try to help them and end up on the same side again. So I avoid it, I only help when there is no one else

Yeah i've gotten in between a girl and a guy fighting once. She was screaming at him and he just straight slapped the hell out of her. When I separated them he was calm but then the girl (after she got off the ground with a dazed look in her eyes) started yelling at me telling me to mind my own damn business.

So would I help again, probably but I might also just watch to see what happens because it's not really our responsibility to interfere with two adults. Call the police if you think it's going to get bad but dont go jumping in. With that said redrubies yeah, you are kind of a hypocrite there, but believe me when I say that you are not in the minority.

It may be bad to say it and I may even catch heat for it, but here's the truth(well ok my own opinion based on what i've seen in the real world) there is very little that a woman cant get away with. Whether it's another man or a woman, strangers will 99% of the time side with women over ANYTHING unless there is really good evidence to prove that the girl was in the wrong. Is that right?

No. But it's the way we as society, both men and women have been raised and it wont change anytime soon. It serves a valid purpose because some men are violent and crazy, but it can and is abused often.

Men dont get much love when it comes to domestic disputes. Although the closest thing to a fight with a girl I've ever been in was play wrestling before sexy times, I imagine that if a girl actually beat me up I wouldn't even tell anyone ever.

Friend: What happened to you virg?
Me:......I fell.

Most of the time intervening will just make you the focus of their anger! I'd let it go... obviously, if things get out of hand and she starts kicking him when he's down, you should move in! But until then? Nah.. most of the time you end up being the one in trouble, not worth it.

Yes, it's hypocritical but we all are in some ways. Forget who's hurt, just jump in and talk sense into both.

I was hit by one of my ex's, but I never laid a hand on her or any woman I've been with. The only girl I've hit back is my sister haha.
Personally I've learned there ARE times to smack someone, but those are incredibly rare. It doesn't make you abusive if your reasons are logical. My old man was a hitter but there were times I did deserve it. But now I'm off topic. Those are my opinions.

The world has come to it some time back -- tensions overdose and fights galore, they then result in plenty of humiliation for one of the party and the other one has no remorse or shame whatsoever, at least for some time after the unfortunate public display. The fight usually is started by the one who wins it soon after the winner shows disregard to all values that were once considered humane and gentle, and obviously the one who loses should have won all the way from the beginning till the end of that war.

Anyway, the woman usually gets all the sympathy in such a fight because no one really bothers to be a moral policeperson if she wins the one-sided dual. On the contrary, when the man wins with such cruelty, everyone takes the law in their own hands without a thought for real judgement. But again, this is unusually the case. Unusually, because the bystanders mostly (like 99.9% of the time) do not, at all, get physically involved in the intense drama this way or that way! It's fun for them whoever wins and most do only the pondering job but never come to a right, suitable, and speedy conclusion... nothing personal there, it's just an observation. You didn't do anything wrong imho. It, well, simply happened that the fight went on even after a groin bled in humiliation.

The today's atmosphere has made everyone stone cold to such dramatic incidents, which are part of every day life, sadly. Btw, this "today's atmosphere" started sometime around the '80s imo... The deadly radiations in the surrounding is so dense now that mankind has lost its real meaning, and this unfortunate phenomenon is only getting lot worse...

Blame the changed environment -- it began after about the late seventies and early eighties at least in my part of the world. The world then began losing humanity, i.e, morality, sense of belonging, mutual understanding, love, and care, and other such virtues, and began becoming more savage in life. Around that time, mankind began losing the meaning of life and now life has literally no meaning for the majority.

May be, the next time people, collectively or singularly, will get involved more often in the early stages and try to break the violence, even if that means getting the rough deal, and not wait for lot of others to react positively. It needs the right amount of natural adrenaline to stop the attack until the attacker gets some rough words (and a stick) from law and some induced diazepam in right amount to calm his/her nerves.

If one begins reacting humanly to such incidents others will get moral courage and get practically involved, and the result will be a better changed world possibly. Then that can happen, and we can all get back to enjoy the wonderful world that many of us old timers have witnessed not too long ago.

Just my 2 cents on the topic...

I have played the "white knight" on many occaisions, mostly saving guys from other guys. On a couple of occaisions I've saved girls from guys, but have never saved a guy from a girl. As for domestic violence going both ways I have been on the recieving end lots of times from an ex partner of mine. She was a manic depressive who could get incredibly violent at times. I never hit her back, but often used some force to make it stop.

One time a busybody neighbour called the cops because she thought I was beating her up - only for the police to arrive, take one look at me and then throw her in the back of the car! I had scratches all over me and a split lip, and all my GF had was bit's of my body under her fingernails.

oh yeah, thats what happens when a female hits a man, nobody does nothing to help the male.....

It sounds like this man needs to invest in some pepper spray and warn her that adults communicate with words and if she can't communicate then she can have a tasty dose of the hot and spicy. Sounds like an unhealthy relationship all the way around. You did the right thing not putting yourself in someone's dysfunctional situation.

Break her arm and go away.
Just kidding.
There is a lot of ways for man to show that he is stronger than women. God dammed just hug her. After 20-30 seconds she'll stop screaming and shit and will became calm. This method worked for me very well for a long time.

Tealover said:

Break her arm and go away.
Just kidding.
There is a lot of ways for man to show that he is stronger than women. God dammed just hug her. After 20-30 seconds she'll stop screaming and shit and will became calm. This method worked for me very well for a long time.

Click to expand...

Or you could gee i dunno move the hell out the way. She'll get tired of swinging at the air eventually.

Only psychopaths get involved in other peoples business.

What you witnessed is just an incident. You don't know the precedence or what happens after the girl walks away. For all that you know, that girl could have been subjected to physical abuse earlier and could have taken advantage of the situation, knowing fully well that the guy dare not retaliate physically in a public place. I mean it is all hypothetical. We cannot take sides and stick up for one gender based on surmise. The truth is, gender discrimination happens, women molestation happens, everywhere in the world. So, if your stand is against women discrimination, it is a justified one and you should not feel guilty just because you witnessed an incident where the woman was the instigator.

I also have to agree with what VirgilH says. I come from a country which is currently gripped in "Stop women discrimination, Stop Rape" media frenzy. Most of it is justified but we have also seen live TV where women have ganged up and beat the shit out of a molester (alleged or otherwise) in public - inside a police station for God's sake! Not one cop tried to stop it! Looks like a woman has to be proved wrong, while a guy can be lynch mobbed based on an allegation. Whether this is right, wrong or justified, is another subject altogether. You don't have to feel guilty or hypocritical about the situation you witnessed because you don't know the start or end of it.

usa females love the law there and abuse it to the max which is bullshit yeah hittin a woman is not good at all but at the same time the females go over their limits and slap or hit or punch or even bite men hahaha come on the way i see it if she hits me i will hit her back but i wont knock her down just a little slap haahhahah

We have seen it and some have even experienced it, Men cannot hit women but women get angry sometimes and strike men, sometimes multiple times. It is a double standard.


By the way getting involved in a domestic dispute is not recommended, even police acknowledge that.

Back in my younger days I was on a 1st date on the Beach late at night. While walking the beach with my date we see and hear some guy literally punching his girl in the head.

So like a fool I run up to break it up and of course the guy bows up to me like I was his bitch.

So I give him a right left, right left he toothless, then he said God damn you ruthless

Well as this was going on the guy goes to his knees and tore my silk shirt since he had a grip on it like we were at a hockey fight, then the girl I was out with grabs ME from behind then the girl of the abuser starts cussing ME out, calling me an asshole a dick and "Leave my boyfriend alone"

So at the end of all this I lost a $90 silk shirt, I got cussed out and a didnt date that girl again for grabbing ME. What if that guy had a knife? Now she is holding me so he can cut me open... No thanks....

Thanks everyone. It was interesting to hear men's perspectives on this. I was feeling hypocritical, but I guess most everyone has some hypocrisy in them.

VirgilH said:

It may be bad to say it and I may even catch heat for it, but here's the truth(well ok my own opinion based on what i've seen in the real world) there is very little that a woman cant get away with. Whether it's another man or a woman, strangers will 99% of the time side with women over ANYTHING unless there is really good evidence to prove that the girl was in the wrong. Is that right?

Click to expand...

You're right. This happened in the middle of the day on a very busy street where many shops and restaurants are. People were everywhere and the woman was loud. I'm sure that other people saw her. If he hit her, people would have been on their cell phones calling 911 and the cops would have been there very fast. But no one even went over to the man to see if he was okay, and he got kicked in the worst place a man can get kicked in.

I wouldn't get involved in such situation either way, that's my policy, I stay away, unless there is some kind of profit for me.