1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

[TIPS] When Psychology meets Off Line Appointments ?

Discussion in 'Offline Marketing' started by HostStage, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. HostStage

    HostStage Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member UnGagged Attendee

    Joined:
    May 20, 2010
    Messages:
    1,774
    Likes Received:
    1,731
    Occupation:
    BHW - CEO of Webhosting Company
    Location:
    BWH from France
    Home Page:
    Hey,

    Today, i'm going to cover a few tips regarding physical appointment.

    I'll deal with a subject which i trully believe in but some psycologists doesn't at all.

    It is about PNL : psychoneurolinguistic which means simply the body langage.

    I believe you already know that when you talk to someone you communicate 80% with your body and 20% with your voice. That's a proven fact.

    What i'm going to tell you today isn't rocket science, and it has to be taken carefully.

    I'd also recommend that if you are interested in that subject, you apply this to business only, and not for personal use or you can be frustrated.

    I had a psychology teacher who has divorced because of this knowledges and i had bad experiments with it too.

    That said i'll give you at the end 2 or 3 tips to convert girls with an optimized success rate :D

    (NOTE 1 : PNL has lead nowadays to micro faces expression which are harder to get for us casual people but it is way more reliable)

    (NOTE 2 : The body langage i'll teach you is valuable at one peculiar moment and it doesn't give a trend, unless signs are recurring - that's why psycologist doesn't believe in it too much)


    1) Hand Shaking : First, you should always make the effort to shake the hand of your targets in a tight way. Personanlly, if somebody shakes my hand in a soft way, i won't trust him.
    Don't destroy the hand of course, but this is a very important contact.

    For the record, hand shaking was actually created in a time where people was cautious to each others and shaking hands was a way to show that they didn't have hidden blades or weapons in their hands or sleeves.

    2) when you target stands up to welcome you, you have quite a bunch of things to look at.
    1) The way he is positionning to you after shaking your hand, is it his side (it can mean several things but look at it carefully) or is he facing you ? (might be a block, or an involvment)

    2) How are his moves : quick and strict (self discipline), low and soft and takes some space (self confident, you can play on that later), if his arms doesn't move much (more likely shy, you need to work on making him cumfortable)

    You can actually guess if he is a decison maker or not, or if he needs external advice to decide, or if he needs to think lonely to your offer, or if you can close him right away.


    3) From what you have learned from the first contact, you need to define the range you'll stand from your target when you are standing up

    15 -30 centimeters and closer is violating, never go in that zone even when you walk, but the shyer he is, the closer you should be.

    If he is over confident, don't stand too close , he will not realize but you'll make him feel unconfortable if you are.

    3) Now you are sit around a desk or a table, you should have a quick look on his desk (computers, cellphones, pictures of his family (IMPORTANT it is a great ice breaker, it works each time), modern desk, old desk, what chair does he have.) The bigger his chair / desk / room design are the more important he feels, but it shows also a lack of self-confidence.

    Take all the clues possible, they are obvious, in open sight, and free.

    For exemple, if you don't see any electronic and a wood desk and if you are selling a technological related product, you know that would have to skip the technical aspect and share only the concrete benefits.

    4) While you are talking you should have as much eye contact as you can of course. Don't touch anything on his desk except your own stuff.

    Your position you should have around a table : Put your arm on the desk, and place yourself at the center of this desk if you're not already in it. Feel free to move your chair to get yourself in that position, you can also ask it will be always a yes, but don't drag your chair, lift it to avoid frustrating noise

    Your back shouldn't touch your chair.

    This ideal place is an epic working tip, you will feel more confident, and you'll be able to have a better exchange.

    Beeing at the center WILL catch the attention and avoid the target to do anything else like filling paper or he will feel bad to do so.


    =========================================
    On the opposite, if you are animating a meeting with in a room organized in U, don't place at the center of it the one you feel he will more likely disagree with you.

    Most of the times, you'll not beeing able to do so, but you have to know that beeing at the center of a U room make people talk more as they feel that you are talking to them. And forget to do eye contact with the people standing at the extremities of the U or you will loose them while you speak.
    ==========================================

    Back to the offline appointment, when you are selling your product, look the way your targets stands.

    Is he crossing his arms and step back while you talk
    ? If yes, that's bad he is on a defend position and he disagrees with what you said

    Is he frowning quickly ?

    Is he touching something reccuringly ? If yes, he can be bored try to be more dynamic and to involve him more in the conversation.

    Is he showing his inside of his hand when he is answering ? that's not good too

    Is opening his arm to you ,
    like including you remotly between his arm ? That's good it isn't a remote hug but it shows he trusts you and ready to talk further.



    Quick Working tips To Seduce Girls

    (it trully works i used to abuse of that when i was at the university and trust me it works - i should open a WSO about it ;)- )

    1) When a girl is sitting next to you and if she is crossing her legs, try to check which one is on top of the other.

    If the one on top, is pointing you, then you have a ticket, go ahead at this moment, if the top leg is showing the other side of you, don't bother.

    It actually reveals her current thoughts to you. But hey, don't forget that it at one peculiar moment and not a trend.

    If you don't believe me on that, test it on a friend of you. Wait for her to cross her legs to you, and say something she is not going to appreciate (a joke or something) and watch her legs going the opposite ;)

    2) Is the girl touching her hair often to place them ? That's a good sign.

    2) Bite your lips : it sounds ridicoulous, i know, but this is TRULLY working, don't be a douche and do it with elegance, and be discrete. You send an hidden seduction message. Of course do it with the downer lip otherwise you'll look retarded.

    If the girl do it too like an answer, it wouldn't be conscious, but hell that's what you are looking for, now play smart you almost won.


    I could keep on for hours there are tons of signs, but the purpose of this thread was to wake a bit of curiosity about it.

    It definitly worth a few reads on this subject you 'll learn tons on thing on people like hair cuts, clothing, standing, seducing, and much much more.

    But really be wise using it cause you can easily misunderstand and go on a conflict because of what you see. (experience talking)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 6
  2. orzyman

    orzyman Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2011
    Messages:
    808
    Likes Received:
    197
    Occupation:
    http://i.imgur.com/0aNSa.gif
    Location:
    in your mind
    WTF winning your prospect tends to winning a girl :rolleyes:
    anyways good tips
     
  3. HostStage

    HostStage Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member UnGagged Attendee

    Joined:
    May 20, 2010
    Messages:
    1,774
    Likes Received:
    1,731
    Occupation:
    BHW - CEO of Webhosting Company
    Location:
    BWH from France
    Home Page:
    hehe, well it was just to introduce a quick overview of psychology, in a funny way for the end.

    If you twist the girl part, you know how to convert a girl prospect actually ;)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  4. mindmaster

    mindmaster Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    2,501
    Likes Received:
    1,136
    Location:
    at my new office
    I like the last part, when you check how well you are in raport with the girl "Bite your lips" and see if she is repeating the action.
    One step further will be to interrupt your raport and to see if she is trying to make you engage the raport back. Then, if she does, make the raport more profound and move on with your 'seduction'.

    One little flow in your info OP.
    Most of the signs are general.
    Best tip is to calibrate a person in a normal state, let's say before 'negotiation' and while the 'negotiation' started.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  5. HostStage

    HostStage Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member UnGagged Attendee

    Joined:
    May 20, 2010
    Messages:
    1,774
    Likes Received:
    1,731
    Occupation:
    BHW - CEO of Webhosting Company
    Location:
    BWH from France
    Home Page:
    Well the signs are indeed general, but they do reveal the current state of your prospect. It allows you to see where he stands before you start talking and it allows you to adapt your speach according to your prospect.

    That said your comment is excellent and very relevant. A calibration before and after according to some sign which might differ would be very useful, thanks for the feedback on this.

    There i would just add that your nickname is very appropriate ;) +1
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2012
  6. Getwhatchuwant

    Getwhatchuwant Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2011
    Messages:
    1,922
    Likes Received:
    1,302
    Occupation:
    Peeping Tom
    Location:
    Florida
    A couple of more girl tips for you all- Instead of biting your lip, Bite hers...If you dont get slapped, she likes you!

    Another tip- If she is sitting in this way towards you, you have a 50% chance she likes you!

    [​IMG]
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  7. gesteves

    gesteves Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2012
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    Portugal
    I don't agree with psychologists don't believeing in this since it's a huge part of the assessment of the patients (clinical psychology) or candidates (organizational psychology). You are right saying the body language is around 80% of our communication and that's why this is so valuable.

    Also if she is talking to someone else but her hips are facing your direction, then it's also a good sign :p
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  8. HostStage

    HostStage Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member UnGagged Attendee

    Joined:
    May 20, 2010
    Messages:
    1,774
    Likes Received:
    1,731
    Occupation:
    BHW - CEO of Webhosting Company
    Location:
    BWH from France
    Home Page:
    Oh well i do believe strongly in it, but i also understand why you can't take as a bible either.

    The signs are not 100% sure and can be interpretated in different ways as you are the filter of those signs. A same sign can mean 2 differents and oposite things. That's why the PNL is nowadays mainly rejected by psycologists.

    As i mentionned, the micro face expression took its place but there it is very very hard to read through them, they are just too quick.

    Between the psycologist who rejected the PNL and the ones who didn't well i believe it is cumfortable to stay in the middle and be cautious about it ;)
     
  9. mindmaster

    mindmaster Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    2,501
    Likes Received:
    1,136
    Location:
    at my new office
    He he, thanks.
    Bandler knows why. :)
     
  10. gesteves

    gesteves Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2012
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    19
    Location:
    Portugal
    Well of course you cannot trust in the signals alone, remember there is still 20% of communication left plus environmental factors. Have a broad look at the situation and act depending on it. I have a master degree in psychology and i always learnt to pay attention at the body language when dealing with people, in my case during job interviews since my master is in organizational psychology. A psychologist that doesn't do it in my opinion is not working at its full potential ;)