Time to teach em a lesson!

dvyce305 said:

Man, F*** that guy! But we gotta see every bad thing as an opportunity to turn it into a good thing. Here's how. First, Forget drip-feeding, just blast them all in one day! Then order a Triple Half-Caff Double Foam Hot Chocolate Vanilla Cream Latte with Quadruple sugar and extra sprinkles, a cup of water, and a biscotti.

Then tell the barista "This is for (Friend's Name)!". When they say "What?", It's Go Time.

Pour the drink all over the counter and floor and everything else you can there. Then take the top off the sugar container they have there and say "Here you go since you like to give people so much damn sugar" and shake it out in all the most hard to reach crevices, pouring water behind it. The goal is to make everything so sticky and hard to clean that they will never want to use sugar again after having to clean it up.

Then gtfo of there with your biscotti, go home and blast as many more horrible reviews as you can.

Then starts your focused De-Marketing campaign. Quickly acquire the domain (name of coffee shop)in(yourcity)scamreviews.com before it gets taken, and a baby gator hosting plan.

Install Wordpress with Fantastico and a install a kickass Premium Coffee Shop theme from themeforest and get a bunch of links to rank #1 for the coffee shop name, "coffee shop name + reviews" and "coffee shop name + scam".
Make sure to make your Title Text "Do Not Go To (Coffee Shop Name)", and then make the Description text "Until You Read This". This will skyrocket your CTR.

Then do nothing but write up shitty reviews and post them on that site nonstop daily remembering to frequently use the coffee shop name, scam, reviews, and many LSI keywords for these terms. Remember, Content is King. The more captivating content and elaborate stories in your reviews the better. Roach stories rank really well.

For bonus points, buy an Apron on Amazon, preferably of the coffee shop's same brand colors. Twice every day for 2 hours each or until you get caught (whichever happens first), at the morning and lunch rush, stand directly outside of the coffee shop with said apron on with a bitchin bum sign that says "Sorry we're closed. Go to Starbux" until they kick you out. Ask many more questions here and learn more methods to ruin this guy's life and double up on what works.

When you make that man cry in front of his store you know you have become pretty good at this thanks to the pointers you got on bhw. Now you gotta take the show on the road. Go back to BHW and buy JVIP and sell this service in the marketplace, calling it "Sweet Revenge De-Marketing Package" with a bunch of sweets and sugary desserts in the graphics, and tell your story as part of your pitch. Revenge is sweet, bank hard.

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John4life2017 said:

UPDATE:
Today the cafe owner sent me a barrage of abuse on my Instagram profile. This is it guys, the asshole needs to be taught a lesson! Besides negative reviews, what else can I do?
Suing is not an option as he can easily pay off cops/lawyers.

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