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The Scar Solution - Review My Sales Page

Discussion in 'Clickbank' started by hyperlite, Sep 11, 2009.

  1. hyperlite

    hyperlite Regular Member

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    Sup dudes,

    I know that new CB products are getting thrown up on here every single day by everybody and their mother, but this is my first and I think it has huge potential. Its my first product and sales page so I need some suggestions for improving it. Any constructive criticism is appreciated.

    It should be approved on CB by tomorrow, exciting!

    Heres the sales page: http://www.thescarsolution.com
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2009
  2. hyperlite

    hyperlite Regular Member

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    Nothing???

    I mean I know its basically perfect but cmon! ;)
     
  3. spcldeal

    spcldeal Registered Member

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    Hi there - I don't like the color - gives me the feeling of one of those "going green" ebook sites. Also, in my browser, the second and third testimonial boxes are cut-off slightly at the bottom - I use Safari. Other than those things it looks very good.
     
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  4. Charas

    Charas Registered Member

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    Hi, really nice page but possibly you might want to reorder the first set of bullets. I think 99% of your potential customers are not going to be looking for scar prevention but scar removal, maybe reverse the order of the first five bullets so they see that they can fade and eliminate a scar first. Maybe the affiliates link could be a little less prominent too.
     
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  5. hyperlite

    hyperlite Regular Member

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    Thanks guys.

    I think it's a little late to change the color scheme but I'll definitely implement the other suggestions. Thanks given!
     
  6. vegasvillan

    vegasvillan Regular Member

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    The green made me want to hurry up and exit out of it. Im not trying to be negative I just thought it was to bright. I would go with a soft blue maybe
     
  7. wdarpk

    wdarpk Junior Member

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    I would suggest you to work on your headline and make it a bit more attention grabbing.

    Who els wants........ is a corny style and does not inspire much interest. So in my opinion if you rework it a bit, it will yield better results.

    Secondly, your sub heading also needs to be re-structured. It seems to be stuffed with a lot of verbosity. Make it simple, concise and crisp by adding just a few adjectives only.You can explain your guide's benefits in a heading right below the first paragraph if you wish.

    Thirdly, I would suggest, your main headline should be all in RED color. It will stimulate the mind of the visitor from the very beginning.

    Fourthly, as already suggested by an other fellow member, re-order your pointers and highlight the main benefits first. People would be more interested in scar removal than in scar prevention. Also spice up your pointers by adding a bit verbosity but not to a boring extent.

    Your sales copy is overall good, just tweak it a bit and you can get better results.
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2009
  8. hyperlite

    hyperlite Regular Member

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    This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks!
     
  9. hyperlite

    hyperlite Regular Member

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    I have made the changes you guys suggested and I think it looks better. Any more comments on the headline?


    Also, is there any way to get this thread de-indexed? It's currently ranking on page one of google for a highly searched term, lol.
     
  10. MasterSavant

    MasterSavant Registered Member

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    Actually I really liked the color - maybe it's a girl thing... The before/after photos are fantastic (from a sales point of view), and I really liked how well the Book and Buy Now button graphics came out.

    The only things that need to be improved are from the copywriting perspective.

    - Your bullet points need to be much, much more detailed. For example, "Look on page 86 for the ONE thing you should ALWAYS eat on an airplane to completely avoid jetlag."
    - You should start the letter with a personal story that is kind of like a testimonial - you know, I had this scar because of this ---, my life was difficult in these ways ---, these are all the other things I've tried ---, here are two examples of important life opportunities I've missed out on because of this, etc etc. And then go into how the book successfully changed your life. Having scars can be devastating to a person, so it's a great opportunity to really invoke some powerful emotions - despair, fear, anger, hope.
    - The Really Big Question needs to be answered, and that is - why the hell should I listen to you? What makes your doctor-approved book better than all the other doctor-approved books? Why is your information superior to mine? Why do you have access to this information and I don't (this is especially good if you have an "inside" edge such as - the doctor/author of this book works with movie stars, or has access to cutting-edge technology or research, etc).
    - You list a fact that scars are not permanent, yet you don't provide any evidence that this may be true. That would make this fact as solid as the daily horoscope. You should offer one or two facts/explanations about why scars can be removed - this also adds to the credibility of the entire product. If you can write one thing that gets your reader saying, "Yeah, that's right," then they'll most likely think that the rest of the book is right, too. Examples of this would be (bear with me, I'm just making this up) -- this world-renowned [School Name] double-blind placebo-controlled study showed that skin cream containing 3% collagen from [very exotic shellfish], encouraged the growth of new skin cells in 98% of cases, blah blah blah.
     
  11. hyperlite

    hyperlite Regular Member

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    Very interesting. I do have a personal testimonial at the top (snowboarding accident) but maybe its not very clear.

    I'll work on the bullets and the credibility for sure though.


    BTW the product is now officially approved for sale on CB! Woot!