The problem with being a 'successful' IM.

netmoney1 said:

able to give back

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netmoney1 said:

being able to give back

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netmoney1 said:

Last Holiday season I actually got involved. I did a lot with toys for tots and was buying car loads of toys at a time. A local car dealer had a huge drop off location and I would take time during the day and hit up Target and just fill carts with toys - I would literally spend hours there - thinking of what kids would like - and seeing things like the ninja turtle toys and transformers being re-created brought back a lot of memories. I have nieces so I am pretty up to date on the "hot" toys for the holiday season and last year Doc McStuffins was the one...people were literally going after those toys like animals on the shelf. Since I would hit these places mid day while everyone else was behind a desk at work I would often see mid day shipments getting brought out. The Doc McStuffins doll was impossible to find and they put 3 of them out. There was a mother and daughter in the store and the kid went apeshit over it and the mom was trying to explain that it was too expensive etc.

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tony_d said:

What is it that people think they have 'taken' that causes the need to 'give back', and why do people feel that the only thing that can satisfy them is 'giving back'?
It's a very specific choice of words - 'giving back'. It's not the same as the words 'being generous' or 'volunteering to help the homeless' - it's 'giving back'...
I haven't taken anything that I feel the need to give back - I don't feel guilty in any way for my situation, because I'm the sole cause of it.
What is it that these 'give-back' folk are trying to appease themselves of?

Don't mistake my tone as judgment - it's certainly not. It's punctuated only by question marks (both literally and figuratively )...

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netmoney1 said:

This - 100%. It never ends, because everything around you grows as your money grows. My cousin and her husband met when they were both in college - got married when they were both entering the workforce - started off with regular salaries and bought a condo for $300k...they had regular bills...living the traditional life....well he moved up the corporate ladder fast in the financial world and then started his own firm. He makes HIGH $XX Million a year now. Think he is kicking back with no worries? Fuck no. They now have 5 homes all over the world, 4 kids all in private high schools that cost more than college, have a jet and a pilot along with other "staff" in their homes all over...as his wealth grew so did their quality of life as well as expenses. So, the stress doesn't magically disappear.

If anything it grows as you build wealth. There are people trying to take it from you...your circle of friends grows smaller because everyone wants a piece. I spent time with him over the summer - we were on the lake having a few beers and he said something along the lines of "I can't tell you the last time I had a Bud Light -- my country club doesn't have it"

But one thing he said made perfect sense - he said his family was the best thing to ever happen to him and even if he was back in that condo they bought back in the day he would be happy. They also do a shit load of charity work and he said that was the most rewarding thing - being able to give back. I agree.

Success financially doesn't make all problems go away, but it does give you the ability to help others - and that is a feeling that is worth the added pressure and responsibilities that wealth brings. When you can help someone and impact them in a positive way its a feeling money can't buy.

I was typically a selfish person until a few years ago. Even then I would donate some money -- but I would just send a check and not really get involved. Last Holiday season I actually got involved. I did a lot with toys for tots and was buying car loads of toys at a time. A local car dealer had a huge drop off location and I would take time during the day and hit up Target and just fill carts with toys - I would literally spend hours there - thinking of what kids would like - and seeing things like the ninja turtle toys and transformers being re-created brought back a lot of memories. I have nieces so I am pretty up to date on the "hot" toys for the holiday season and last year Doc McStuffins was the one...people were literally going after those toys like animals on the shelf. Since I would hit these places mid day while everyone else was behind a desk at work I would often see mid day shipments getting brought out. The Doc McStuffins doll was impossible to find and they put 3 of them out. There was a mother and daughter in the store and the kid went apeshit over it and the mom was trying to explain that it was too expensive etc.

I took all 3 of them - one for my nieces, one for toys for tots and one for this person - I went to my car and loaded everything up and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. I wrote a note explaining I wanted to give her the toy so she could give it to her daughter for Christmas - went back to the entrance and waited for them to come out - handed her the note which told her to watch where I go to my car and to pull up next to me and pop her truck, distract her child and I would toss it in. That was the best $20-something dollars I spent that year.

When I heard people in the past say shit like being able to give back is the most rewarding part I thought they were all crazy - I wanted cars, toys, etc. It took me actually putting out effort to experience the satisfaction. You don't have to break the bank. The satisfaction and "wake up" isn't determined by dollar value.

Also, if you are bored donate your time - shelters ALWAYS need extra help - you don't even have to donate financially. Go cook breakfast at a shelter from 4am - 6am for a month an watch your entire point of view change. Seriously, it is like a Mike Tyson punch to the face. Puts shit into perspective.

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tony_d said:

First a little definition - the base level measurement of 'success' from internet marketing, according to me, is owning your time, being location independent, being free from tasks, and having a 'good' passive (or almost passive) income. Sure, you build on it, and build it some more, but I say one is already successful when they meet these criteria - it's all just numbers after you own your time & location.

So here's the problem: when you don't spend your time doing 'things' to earn an income, what does one actually do to fill their time, in the long term?

Sure, there's the usual suspects like "travel, go out with friends, find a hobby, read, spend time with the family" blah blah blah, but I'm here to say that those things don't feel very fulfilling after they've been at the core of your life for a significant period.

In a past life of 'real' offline businesses, it was quite different - because even as I was free from 'work', there was at least an office to go to each day and pretend that I had work to do, even if I just drank coffee and chatted to my business partner and staff. Also a rather meaningless existence, I'll admit, but it wasn't quite so obvious because I felt occupied.

I presume I'm not alone in feeling utterly bored when I don't have 'work' to do... I truly wish I was the type of person that could get joy from reading, or gardening, or... whatever. But it doesn't excite me.

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netmoney1 said:

I was typically a selfish person until a few years ago. Even then I would donate some money -- but I would just send a check and not really get involved. Last Holiday season I actually got involved. I did a lot with toys for tots and was buying car loads of toys at a time. A local car dealer had a huge drop off location and I would take time during the day and hit up Target and just fill carts with toys - I would literally spend hours there - thinking of what kids would like - and seeing things like the ninja turtle toys and transformers being re-created brought back a lot of memories. I have nieces so I am pretty up to date on the "hot" toys for the holiday season and last year Doc McStuffins was the one...people were literally going after those toys like animals on the shelf. Since I would hit these places mid day while everyone else was behind a desk at work I would often see mid day shipments getting brought out. The Doc McStuffins doll was impossible to find and they put 3 of them out. There was a mother and daughter in the store and the kid went apeshit over it and the mom was trying to explain that it was too expensive etc.

I took all 3 of them - one for my nieces, one for toys for tots and one for this person - I went to my car and loaded everything up and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. I wrote a note explaining I wanted to give her the toy so she could give it to her daughter for Christmas - went back to the entrance and waited for them to come out - handed her the note which told her to watch where I go to my car and to pull up next to me and pop her truck, distract her child and I would toss it in. That was the best $20-something dollars I spent that year.

When I heard people in the past say shit like being able to give back is the most rewarding part I thought they were all crazy - I wanted cars, toys, etc. It took me actually putting out effort to experience the satisfaction. You don't have to break the bank. The satisfaction and "wake up" isn't determined by dollar value.

Also, if you are bored donate your time - shelters ALWAYS need extra help - you don't even have to donate financially. Go cook breakfast at a shelter from 4am - 6am for a month an watch your entire point of view change. Seriously, it is like a Mike Tyson punch to the face. Puts shit into perspective.

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lord1027 said:

Get a hobby, a time-consuming one I haven't reach stability yet, but whenever I get the chance I go fishing, it's really relaxing.

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tony_d said:

I presume I'm not alone in feeling utterly bored when I don't have 'work' to do... I truly wish I was the type of person that could get joy from reading, or gardening, or... whatever. But it doesn't excite me.

Click to expand...

netmoney1 said:

This - 100%. It never ends, because everything around you grows as your money grows. My cousin and her husband met when they were both in college - got married when they were both entering the workforce - started off with regular salaries and bought a condo for $300k...they had regular bills...living the traditional life....well he moved up the corporate ladder fast in the financial world and then started his own firm. He makes HIGH $XX Million a year now. Think he is kicking back with no worries? Fuck no. They now have 5 homes all over the world, 4 kids all in private high schools that cost more than college, have a jet and a pilot along with other "staff" in their homes all over...as his wealth grew so did their quality of life as well as expenses. So, the stress doesn't magically disappear.

If anything it grows as you build wealth. There are people trying to take it from you...your circle of friends grows smaller because everyone wants a piece. I spent time with him over the summer - we were on the lake having a few beers and he said something along the lines of "I can't tell you the last time I had a Bud Light -- my country club doesn't have it"

But one thing he said made perfect sense - he said his family was the best thing to ever happen to him and even if he was back in that condo they bought back in the day he would be happy. They also do a shit load of charity work and he said that was the most rewarding thing - being able to give back. I agree.

Success financially doesn't make all problems go away, but it does give you the ability to help others - and that is a feeling that is worth the added pressure and responsibilities that wealth brings. When you can help someone and impact them in a positive way its a feeling money can't buy.

I was typically a selfish person until a few years ago. Even then I would donate some money -- but I would just send a check and not really get involved. Last Holiday season I actually got involved. I did a lot with toys for tots and was buying car loads of toys at a time. A local car dealer had a huge drop off location and I would take time during the day and hit up Target and just fill carts with toys - I would literally spend hours there - thinking of what kids would like - and seeing things like the ninja turtle toys and transformers being re-created brought back a lot of memories. I have nieces so I am pretty up to date on the "hot" toys for the holiday season and last year Doc McStuffins was the one...people were literally going after those toys like animals on the shelf. Since I would hit these places mid day while everyone else was behind a desk at work I would often see mid day shipments getting brought out. The Doc McStuffins doll was impossible to find and they put 3 of them out. There was a mother and daughter in the store and the kid went apeshit over it and the mom was trying to explain that it was too expensive etc.

I took all 3 of them - one for my nieces, one for toys for tots and one for this person - I went to my car and loaded everything up and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. I wrote a note explaining I wanted to give her the toy so she could give it to her daughter for Christmas - went back to the entrance and waited for them to come out - handed her the note which told her to watch where I go to my car and to pull up next to me and pop her truck, distract her child and I would toss it in. That was the best $20-something dollars I spent that year.

When I heard people in the past say shit like being able to give back is the most rewarding part I thought they were all crazy - I wanted cars, toys, etc. It took me actually putting out effort to experience the satisfaction. You don't have to break the bank. The satisfaction and "wake up" isn't determined by dollar value.

Also, if you are bored donate your time - shelters ALWAYS need extra help - you don't even have to donate financially. Go cook breakfast at a shelter from 4am - 6am for a month an watch your entire point of view change. Seriously, it is like a Mike Tyson punch to the face. Puts shit into perspective.

Click to expand...