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Thanks - Rough Night, Rough Week.. Thanks for BHW

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by UpMyKilt, Aug 31, 2012.

  1. UpMyKilt

    UpMyKilt Registered Member

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    Just feel like rambling, don't bother reading if you're not into reading something a bit maudlin - just sitting here, thinking back over some things in my life, and been up all night, mostly working on a new site while reading BHW posts. Really thankful for that.

    This past night and today will mark the one year anniversary of the last time I saw my girlfriend (now ex). She drove out of my driveway after putting her hand to my heart, telling me she'd keep it safe... while she moved out west and we'd try to figure out how to see each other again soon. Never happened - sadly. She has bipolar symptoms, and sometimes things would just get weird and irrational, which happened a couple of weeks after she left. Indeed, even her decision to move 2,000 miles away was so sudden and weird in the first place; hard to love someone who is fantastic and wonderful for days, weeks, and even maybe a couple of months at a time, and then change so drastically for no seeming good reason, and they are unable to even talk about it later. But love is what it is... and maybe some of the older dudes will know what I mean better than the younger testosterone filled ones :).

    I've also got three sons - was married years ago, got divorced and then decided to stay single for almost ten years until I met my ex I wrote about above. In September, it will be five years since we met. Not sure I'll ever get involved again... but anyhow, last weekend, the house that the mother of my three older sons lived in burnt to the ground. One of my sons still lived with his mom and her common-law in that house when it burnt down. My other two sons used to live in it, and although they no longer do, they still lost most of their possessions.. all their childhood stuff, all their teenage stuff, every gift they ever received, every thing they ever bought up until they were about 20 was in that house. And it was all destroyed. Totally.

    I've been in touch with them and started a fund to raise some cash to help them out which has been pretty good.. raised about a thousand dollars so far (with more promised on the way) to help them out. Funny/peculiar when you're feeling down about things, there just might be something that you could be good at that will truly benefit others in time of need.

    But you know what? None of the money will do much to take away the pain and sting of their loss. After the insurance kicks in, they will be able to rebuild, and maybe replace some things, but so much like photographs in photo albums are irreplaceable. Awards and trophies, and silly gifts that might not have cost a lot but meant a lot at the time - all that is left of those are memories.

    I'm just writing this out, perhaps for my own benefit - but for any others out there as well - whatever position you are in, things could be worse. Here I've been sitting, trying to replace $4,000.00 a month in income that was cut to almost nothing after some Google changes, on one site alone.... but damn, I'm alive! And I got some of my stuff. And I have another little boy, a ten year old that is awesome, and he needs to play with his daddy...

    After the huge loss to my ex wife and the three older boys, it can really put a different perspective on things. Doesn't mean there isn't work to do, but life can have it's twisted moments and things you never expect.

    What are you doing this weekend? Me? I'm going to be making sure I spend lots of time with my ten year old, probably kicking around a soccer ball with him (although at my age, it gets more difficult to show off, lol), ride our bicycles together, and just hang out.

    May I suggest to you, from the life experience I have had (and I've done a lot of things!), that if there is someone really important to you nearby, don't forget about them. Especially if you have kids!! They grow up so fast, and you're missing out on a lot of fun if you don't give them lots of your time.

    And no matter how well you plan, you just do not know what tomorrow will bring.

    Ok.. enough rambling for now. Thanks for the great people here!
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  2. steelballs

    steelballs BANNED BANNED

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    Life is full of ups and downs. The trick is to enjoy the ups and have courage during the downs
     
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  3. Beingakrant

    Beingakrant BANNED BANNED

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    As I read your post, even for a moment, but I certainly felt lighter because life can be worse. I forgot my problems because they seem to be too miniscule when compared to yours. I hope you have a great life. You seem to be an optimistic guy, so be the way you're and keep moving ahead because as the rule says, after every dark night, there comes a bright and cheerful day, which fills our life with colors. Cheers. :)
     
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  4. UpMyKilt

    UpMyKilt Registered Member

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    I am a pretty optimistic guy :) I started a business in website design in 1997... heh.. those were the days... and built it to where I could quit my long term full time job, with all the risks of zero health benefits and no sick days... and for the most part, it's been pretty good to me.

    My three older sons live a good five hours away, so being in business for myself allowed me independence in being able to go and visit and see them without having to ask a supervisor or manager for time off (there was a lot of shift work involved in that previous job, including weekends).

    And I guess part of my post, although I'm kind of feeling sad that it's a one year anniversary of not seeing the love of my life for a whole year, yeah.. the fact that my family had a tragedy happen and they lost everything.. that does make my problems seem pretty small.

    And also perhaps a reminder to others, to spend valuable real time with those they love, especially the kids. Don't forget you're making memories everyday.. and someday, that might be all there is!
     
  5. lanbo

    lanbo Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Good post - I saw noticed how you mention that your kids grow up very fast.. a lot of BHW members are still kids growing up into adults.

    A childhood well spent :)
     
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  6. Beingakrant

    Beingakrant BANNED BANNED

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    I am sure a majority of kids over here conceal their real age and try to show that they're adults. It's a common tendency. ;)
     
  7. UpMyKilt

    UpMyKilt Registered Member

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    Yeah.. lol. I'm probably one of the oldest guys here. And learning from smart individuals that are less than half of my age :) Maybe I can spread a little bit of older wisdom around here and there from some hard lessons I've learned over the years.

    You bring up a good point though, and something I've seen the Internet change about the world: It truly has given individuals in countries and economies that are considered "poor" relative to where I grew, a lot more chances in this world.

    When I got into this business, more out of curiosity (I'd hardly even touched a computer before 1997, when I decided I wanted to learn how to make a webpage), the talk was that the Internet was going to be a "great equalizer" between mom and pop businesses and big businesses. That has not happened to the degree people hoped for, however... it has certainly been much more of an equalizer in other ways, as knowledge (which so many of you have more of than even me), as far as potential for individuals in so called "third world" countries. And that pleases me very much.

    But I'd still like to remind folk that life is something we cannot predict; live it well and be sure to love and laugh well too. Have respect, have some values and some principles that you want to live by and be known for. Even behind the anonymity of a nickname on the Internet.
     
  8. UpMyKilt

    UpMyKilt Registered Member

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    Maybe true. I still have a great deal of respect for those that see opportunities, take action, and learn. I might even buy them a beer.