terrible marketing

I have a tool that I offer for marketeers and regular people with around 3k to 4k members.

I sent them a mail today marketing a cb product. One of the people replied that my mail is terrible marketing and I did get around 10 to 20 unsubscribes....

does anyone recognize this kind of response when sending out mailings? (maybe my mails are just that terrible and I really need to get some lessons)


The product does convert well on it's own but I'm not sure if I'm good at composing the mails... any good tips on sending good mails are welcome.

There either working an angle to get some business from you - or you emailed someone who is in the Email Marketing business and just wants to troll on you

Thanks,

But I do realize that I did something wrong.

1. Trust factor: I don't regularely mail the members, it's been over a year. (even though the member base doubled by then)
2. The cb product is about marketing (making money online) but isn't close enough to the free product that I give away(social media product).

Could have known this before hand but wanted to try anyways to see what happens...

Post up a sample of your email copy buddy, be much easier to critique and give you some tips

Okey, here it goes....
XXX = the service I give for free

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Hello #name#,

First of all thanks for being a member of XXX. We just wanted you to know that we have started to work on a new free service that will boggle your minds. It will be something new, fresh and will definately help you in your work and life...Though it will take some time to finish... Can't say too much right now..;

In the mean time let me take the time to introduce you to Russel. He's a very special guy. Not only has he made millions of dollars on the internet but he's also looking for students.

You are probably thinking: "what's the catch?" ... The thing is, there is No Catch ! Unlike some other so called "internet millionaires", Russel allows you to join the program for FREE and if you are still happy after a month (and hopefully making some Money with his lessons) you just pay him a small fee..If you're not happy, you don't pay him anything. You can join him right here: AFFILIATE_URL

So while you are waiting for our next FREE awsome product, just take the time and look what Russel can teach you to earn your living online. You won't regret it, so join him Now !

AFFILIATE_URL

Regards,

XXX

PS. Be aware that if you should choose to pay Russel a fee after a month of free lessons (because hopefully you are making money with his lessons) I might receive a few bucks aswell.
You receive this mail because you are subscribed to XXX. You can unsubscribe from this by sending an email to "[email protected]" with the subject "Unsubscribe" .


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Maybe tone down Russell a bit more, less ! etc make it sound believable. Also possibly reword the part about not paying unless they want to. I think it could be a bit cleaner. Finally remove the p.s part about you getting 'a few bucks', no need to highlight this fact.

@illfound21 thanks, yeah, the last "ps."-line really has no place there.
I think I added that one since I saw some of those bigger mailmarketeers adding such a message.

You can spicy it up by offering a PowerPoint presentation of Russel's first lecture or some similar "token of goodwill" for free. It could work for lowering the negativity.

Mmm... And maybe you want to check your spelling before sending out your shots... Definitely... (Yes, that was one word used spelled wrong.)