Still missing her

BUT, what they do like is a man who has is shit in order. If you can't afford to pay your bills then what quality women is going to pick you as the leader of her future family?
Make as much money you wan´t and get as ripped as you feel you need to be, BUT don´t do it for a woman, do it because you wan´t it. Any woman that don´t take you for who you are is not worth the effort.
 
Also, guys, remember not to get triggered by my posts.

The world would fucking suck if everyone had the same opinion.

While many of you won't agree with me, my goal here is to give some strong alternative perspectives. You can choose to ignore it or take it on board, but don't get triggered by it.

Make as much money you wan´t and get as ripped as you feel you need to be, BUT don´t do it for a woman, do it because you wan´t it. Any woman that don´t take you for who you are is not worth the effort.


Absolutely.

The guys who do this are weak men.

The men of the 50's did not do what they did for women. They did it because it's who they were.

Where I agree with you is after you've sorted your life out and become a quality man capable of managing a family, THEN you should look for a woman that likes you for you and not a woman who just wants money.
 
Its all a phase and will pass away. I mostly laugh about it when I think of those days now, I dealt with breakups via impulsive apologies/hate messages i would send after a break up (17 years ago).
 
Maybe people could be better humans.

Maybe people could be kinder.

Maybe maybe maybe.

This is the real world. Sitting hoping for others to change will lead you to a powerless miserable existence dependent on other people.

I agree. She should be a better person, but that's not the point. A lion will do what a lion does. :) A bear will do what a bear does.

Expecting most humans to be something better is just going to leave you with a sour taste.

I am not defending her in any way.

A better woman would have left him and not cheated, but the end result is the same. He needs to work on being a better man.

It's harsh, I know.

But in life it's just better to take as much responsibility as possible. You are literally taking power.

The world is what the world is. Rather than blame the world for what it is, it's better to mold yourself into a stronger character in order to achieve what you want from the world.

As for the general consensus.. Yeah, but the world has gone very anti-men.

Men *are* biologically more likely to cheat, however.

Women cheat when they are missing something. They are looking for the thing they are missing in another man. When they find it, they generally will die for that man and not cheat.

Some men are more likely to cheat than others. Not all men cheat. (Younger usually)

But, when a non-cheating man cheats(usually a 30+ man), it's usually because he's with a woman that doesn't appreciate or value him, and he's cheating because the other women is giving him the attention.


Literally what people do in the real world is akin to playing World of Warcraft as a level 1 character, and running around getting killed by level 20's and crying that the game is unfair, instead of leveling up.

This still doesn’t really explain what you mean by stating he needs to become ‘a better man’. Have you considered maybe OP is / was in a better position than his ex/partner mentally, emotionally, physically, dare I say even spiritually, than she is / was? In which case abandoning his sense of self-respect and value just for the mindless appeasement of someone here definitely won’t make him a better person. Thhere are too many variables here to jump to conclusions about who was better and who wasn’t.

I’ll use myself as an example here…
I got cheated on when I was 19 only when I decided to start trying to do better for myself by getting in better shape, studying, ditching the marijuana we both loved to smoke and getting more female attention as a consequence because she was worried she would lose me eventually anyway so cheated on me before I had a chance to cheat on her first. I also got cheated on in my early twenties by a girl who also cheated on the next guy with about half a dozen other guys including a sixteen year old school boy - few finers ways to destroy a guys sense of self-esteem huh? Sure I ‘missed’ both, the former because she was my first real girflriend and I found her emotionally comforting and the latter because the sex was great amd she had a killer face and body. But I got over it and realised I was better off without them and dodged a bullet in both cases.
Now tell me at what point striving to your version to be a ‘be a better man’ here when dealing with a woman who is deeply insecure in the case of my first ex, and who was clearly mentally ill in the second would have done me any good when I was in a better place than them anyway?

Now at 28, after spending a few years working on myself, I find myself married to a mentally mature woman who realised she’s not perfect and doesn’t expect everything in my life to have to need to revolve around her or vice versa - rather we accept we are individuals supporting each other to work on something better than the sum of it’s parts. No offence but if I had decided to accept that my ex’s cheating on me was somehow my fault and strived to become better to the obscure and volatile standards of women who didn’t even know what was in their own best interest, then I would have just become a shell of a man by now and be left chasing my own ass.

No offence but I think you’re overlooking the fact that women are all different too and unconditionally telling someone that got cheated on to try to ‘be better’ without considering the specifics of the case and if a guy at any point was ever even ‘worse’ to begin with is just empty “female worship” and that doesn’t do anyone good, neither her nor you.
 
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Guys, the best way to get over a girl is another girl. The more we feel sorry for ourselves, the worse it gets. Sports, dating, new acquaintances and emotions, work - this is the perfect cocktail to become happy on your own, without her or anyone else.
 
You are worrying for a spoon water when you have a river in front of you? Come out of it like a man.. Someones cheating teaches you more than what 100 teachers do. Thank her and move on.
 
If she knows you got options she won't leave you whether you take her to mcdonald's, kfc or starbucks. Trust me on that.

You do not need Michellin restaurants to keep a girl.

She just needs to know that she can be easily replaced within 1 day. That is all.
as a personal experience, if they let me know i can be replaced whenever they want i will leave. cause i would rather leave alone than chasing someone, if i dont feel safe i would leave.
and when ppl got options they definitely choose better cause they are not happy from what they have now. Its applicable in relationship,life, career,job all of it. And if relationship isnt working you can feel it... and talk about it right that moment and you can find out very easily what is happening rather than these mind games. If you can communicate what you are feeling directly why you need to play these mind games. If you are loyal atleast you will have peace in future that you did the best what you can do. Be straight forward, simple and move in life.
 
This still doesn’t really explain what you mean by stating he needs to become ‘a better man’. Have you considered maybe OP is / was in a better position than his ex/partner mentally, emotionally, physically, dare I say even spiritually, than she is / was? In which case abandoning his sense of self-respect and value just for the mindless appeasement of someone here definitely won’t make him a better person. Thhere are too many variables here to jump to conclusions about who was better and who wasn’t.

I’ll use myself as an example here…
I got cheated on when I was 19 only when I decided to start trying to do better for myself by getting in better shape, studying, ditching the marijuana we both loved to smoke and getting more female attention as a consequence because she was worried she would lose me eventually anyway so cheated on me before I had a chance to cheat on her first. I also got cheated on in my early twenties by a girl who also cheated on the next guy with about half a dozen other guys including a sixteen year old school boy - few finers ways to destroy a guys sense of self-esteem huh? Sure I ‘missed’ both, the former because she was my first real girflriend and I found her emotionally comforting and the latter because the sex was great amd she had a killer face and body. But I got over it and realised I was better off without them and dodged a bullet in both cases.
Now tell me at what point striving to your version to be a ‘be a better man’ here when dealing with a woman who is deeply insecure in the case of my first ex, and who was clearly mentally ill in the second would have done me any good when I was in a better place than them anyway?

Now at 28, after spending a few years working on myself, I find myself married to a mentally mature woman who realised she’s not perfect and doesn’t expect everything in my life to have to need to revolve around her or vice versa - rather we accept we are individuals supporting each other to work on something better than the sum of it’s parts. No offence but if I had decided to accept that my ex’s cheating on me was somehow my fault and strived to become better to the obscure and volatile standards of women who didn’t even know what was in their own best interest, then I would have just become a shell of a man by now and be left chasing my own ass.

No offence but I think you’re overlooking the fact that women are all different too and unconditionally telling someone that got cheated on to try to ‘be better’ without considering the specifics of the case and if a guy at any point was ever even ‘worse’ to begin with is just empty “female worship” and that doesn’t do anyone good, neither her nor you.


Most women don't cheat because they're mentally ill.

I understand your perspective, but this is one of the logical fallacies called the anecdotal fallacy. I understand I look like an ass saying this and I'm not trying to take away from your experience.

But, try to step back here into the most general scenario you can.

What's the goal from the man's perspetive?

What's the goal from anyone's perspective for that matter?

To have a happier, more fulfilling and overall better life.

With that in mind, for the vast majority of men in the vast majority of situations it's going to be better for their long term development to just take the approach of self-responsibility.

It's not important what's "right or wrong" or what the truth really is.

If you go out late at night in a bad neighborhood and get robbed, you are at fault. It doesn't matter if it's wrong that someone robbed you. It doesn't matter that someone "should have been better".

I'm reducing the scenario to its absolute simplest with the goal of the person having a better life in the future than they have now, and to do that, just taking responsbility is better.

There's almost no situation where taking responsbility is not empowering. The opposite is to blame the other person. Blame the world. Blame the government. Blame the opposing party. People just blame blame blame and they only weaken themselves.

If you have a very unique situation where you had a mentally ill girlfriend who cheated because of that, then I agree you aren't going to frame it as "I need to work harder in my business, make more money, be more successful and be a stronger/better man."

But.. You should still be framing it as "It was my fault. I need to be a better man" -- Why? Because you picked/attracted a mentally ill woman. :-)

In that case, you should look at improving your own emotional state so that in the future you don't attract that.

Toxic women are attracted and will go for certain types of men. This is just how things work. A female narcissist is not going to be attracted to a strong, self-sufficient man with strong boundaries. Her games won't work. She won't have control. She will move on to a man who is needy and who falls in love in the first week because she is love-bombing him.

It all comes down to self-responsibility no matter what.

It's never a bad thing.

My advice is aimed at improving people's lives, but the real advice that will improve your life will hurt. Most people want the fluffy bandade that gives them some feel-good emotions in the short-term, but will leave them open to repeating the same pain over and over.

Society today is trying to teach you NOT to take responsibility and NOT to see the world how it is. Everything offends everyone and people feel self-justified in feeling offended because "it's not right".

You can either accept society's view and the life that goes with it, or you can take the path of self-empowerment, where you are the master of your own reality and not a single entity on earth has any power over you other than the power that you give to them.

In summary..

Stop trying to explain, understand or make sense of things.

Just take responsibility for as much as you can in your life and push forward with what brings you joy.
 
Don't worry 100 years from now till the end of the universe you won't have to worry. Best while you do have time to worry, to worry about money rather women. Don't be a sucka. Be a hustler.
Coming from a man who either lives with her or misses her.
Pro tip: beside hustling after money add gym into your daily routine
A good therapy to stop missing her during the day, but what happens when you find it difficult to sleep at night?
Only thing you should be missing is the money, that's what will get her chasing you again.

That's if she is not with the money itself.
 
as a personal experience, if they let me know i can be replaced whenever they want i will leave. cause i would rather leave alone than chasing someone, if i dont feel safe i would leave.
and when ppl got options they definitely choose better cause they are not happy from what they have now. Its applicable in relationship,life, career,job all of it. And if relationship isnt working you can feel it... and talk about it right that moment and you can find out very easily what is happening rather than these mind games. If you can communicate what you are feeling directly why you need to play these mind games. If you are loyal atleast you will have peace in future that you did the best what you can do. Be straight forward, simple and move in life.

They will never tell you love. This is something a woman feels and intuitively knows, not told.

As far as mind games is concerned, it is nothing like that. Females just respond to certain triggers and if a man understands that, that will make for a healthy and stable relationship long-term, it is not meant as a way for a man to cheat.
 
They will never tell you love. This is something a woman feels and intuitively knows, not told.

As far as mind games is concerned, it is nothing like that. Females just respond to certain triggers and if a man understands that, that will make for a healthy and stable relationship long-term, it is not meant as a way for a man to cheat.

They will never tell you love. This is something a woman feels and intuitively knows, not told.

As far as mind games is concerned, it is nothing like that. Females just respond to certain triggers and if a man understands that, that will make for a healthy and stable relationship long-term, it is not meant as a way for a man to cheat.
yea they never tell, and women do start feeling that way as well but the thing stop her to stalk or check him is trust and attachment. And if they do just to tease her, thats different i know. I got this in different way if this is the case :)

sry for this much late reply, i m still learning to use this app.
 
You sound like a guy that probably imagine her doing things with 10 other guys right now... Gang banging and stuff
Just forget about her. Let her Gang Bang herself all the way to HIV land

Go to the Gym buff yourself up
 
It's ok to hurt bro! Just move on and watch Hank Moody, everything will be much better :)
 
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