1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Six lessons of life

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by topcoders, Mar 13, 2014.

  1. topcoders

    topcoders BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2014
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    44
    Lesson 1: Naked Wife
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, ?I?ll give you $800 to drop that towel.? After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

    After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,?

    ?Who was that?? ?It was Bob the next door neighbor,? she replies. ?Great!? the husband says, ?Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me??

    Moral of the story:
    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

    Lesson 2:
    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ?I?ll give each of you just one wish? ?Me first! Me first!? says the administration clerk. ?I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.? Poof! She?s gone. ?Me next! Me next!? says the sales rep. ?I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.? Poof! He?s gone. ?OK, you?re up,? the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ?I want those two back in the office after lunch.?

    Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

    Lesson 3:
    A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,?Father, remember Psalm 129?? The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ?Father, remember Psalm 129?? The priest apologized ?Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.? Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ?Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.?

    Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

    Lesson 4:
    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,?Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?? The crow answered: ?Sure, why not.? So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

    ...A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

    Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
    A turkey was chatting with a bull ?I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,? sighed the turkey, but I haven?t got the energy.? ?Well, why don?t you nibble on my droppings?? replied the bull. ?They?re packed with nutrients.? The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

    Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

    Lesson 6:
    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Moral of the story:
    1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
    2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
    3. And when you?re in deep shit, it?s best to keep your mouth shut !

    source : quora :)

     
    • Thanks Thanks x 34
  2. Chakeda

    Chakeda Newbie

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2013
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    3
    Home Page:
    That was pretty great. Lesson 5 was my favorite, reminds me of Black Hat SEO haha.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  3. Junkfood00

    Junkfood00 Elite Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2011
    Messages:
    1,949
    Likes Received:
    1,336
    Awesome, thanks for sharing.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  4. Jubv

    Jubv BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2013
    Messages:
    254
    Likes Received:
    104
    Some good lessons there. A lot different from the usual stuff everyone's used to hearing.

    Thanks for sharing OP :D
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  5. JordanT3Leads

    JordanT3Leads Junior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2014
    Messages:
    175
    Likes Received:
    38
    Occupation:
    Affiliate Marketing Manager
    Location:
    Southern California
    That was actually a pretty fun and entertaining read. Thank you for that
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  6. Veyron

    Veyron BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2013
    Messages:
    1,452
    Likes Received:
    1,297
    These are some great lessons for sure.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  7. adss30

    adss30 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2012
    Messages:
    3,808
    Likes Received:
    282
    Gender:
    Male
    Home Page:
    They are awesome :)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  8. prlinkssale

    prlinkssale Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,210
    Likes Received:
    161
    Occupation:
    Professional Blogger
    Location:
    Still Above The Ground
    Home Page:
    Yeah.. These are Great Lesson .. Thanks to share.. Pretty Good
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  9. provision

    provision Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2013
    Messages:
    406
    Likes Received:
    208
    Nice lesson. 4 is my favorite and most relateable. I always find myself not doing anything productive when I have so much to do..one day though, i'll be able to relax :)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  10. clovers

    clovers Junior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2012
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    48
    Great lessons but cannot agree with lesson #1-Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy- I always go by the saying "when people show you who they are believe them" if someone is in your corner they will not shit on you.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  11. xTiger

    xTiger Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2012
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    129
    Location:
    Getting Richer
    Very nice lessons. Thanks
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  12. cutekid1

    cutekid1 Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2012
    Messages:
    255
    Likes Received:
    75
    LAMO First 1 _ Thank you for share
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  13. phatzilla

    phatzilla Supreme Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,365
    Likes Received:
    1,017
    Sometimes people shit on you to motivate you
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  14. kinlee

    kinlee Supreme Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2012
    Messages:
    1,250
    Likes Received:
    2,325
    Occupation:
    Full Time Foodie
    Location:
    Dreamland
    These are great short stories, they made me laugh as well. Thanks for sharing :)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  15. Meloman

    Meloman Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2013
    Messages:
    361
    Likes Received:
    168
    Occupation:
    SERP Killer
    Location:
    NYC
    Home Page:
    LMAO that was a great share. Some valuable lessons for sure.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  16. The SEO

    The SEO Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    3,973
    Likes Received:
    3,114
    Occupation:
    SEO/SMM
    Location:
    BHW
    Whole Moral of the story:
    1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
    2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
    3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut !
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  17. dsj727

    dsj727 Newbie

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2014
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    1
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    USA
    I love lesson 5.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  18. Fed_Dent

    Fed_Dent Newbie

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2013
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7
    Home Page:
    Pretty good lesson thanks
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  19. mumbai

    mumbai Newbie

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2013
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    2
    5 is my fav thanks for share :)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  20. lowell1

    lowell1 BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2012
    Messages:
    642
    Likes Received:
    293
    Interesting Short Story First Point made Me laugh.:D
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1