forgive me if any of these were used already
"article spinners ruin it for the original author, please have some respect and write your own work"
"I never use copy/paste, that's for noobs, I can type it out myself, faster"
"never, ever outsource someone elses hard work, unless you get their permission and offer them full profits, after all they are doing the work"
"only use the last keywords on the list, the ones with zero competition, there is too much spam already on the web, plus those people got them first and have families to feed"
"soon as I find a very profitable niche, I instantly share it with the rest of the world"
"sometimes I use my SEO tools to help my competitors, its only fair"
"I never spam emails w/o first getting their permission to do so"
"I would never even wear a black hat"
"my therapist agrees that microsofts "autumn scene" is a perfect replacement to actually going outside if stared at once a day for 30 seconds"
"whenever I find software I really like, I usually buy a bunch of copies, just in case one gets lost"
"never use "cookie cleaners" those people who are spying on us need to know what we are doing so they can improve the web"
"I give paypal 50% of what I make online, they deserve every penny too"
"the people on blackhat are just pretending, they have no clue, its the biggest troll board in the world, billions of people are being tricked daily into doing things that will never amount to shyt"