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Screaming of the Snails

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Amsterdammer, Jul 5, 2013.

  1. Amsterdammer

    Amsterdammer Power Member

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    Okay, I am not one to make a lot of threads but perhaps this should change.


    I want to talk with you about snails. Not your favorite creatures? I agree!

    Okay, snails need to be here, I don't care what you believe in but they need to be here or they would not be here. But, why do they have to be on my balcony?
    Because I have plants there? I disagree...

    Now, I have a broad interest and just happen to know that snails are truly DIY. I mean, they build their own home for crying out loud and if it needs repairing they know how to do that too! Spiders may know how to build traps, Chimps may use a stick to get ants and Gorilla's may build a platform to sleep on but snails? Come on... They actually build a Home for themselves! lol
    Respect where it is due right? Not for originality or creativity, but still...

    In fact, studies show that snail slime helps in recovery time in humans when wounded. I got this from tv, selling a product made of the stuff but still...
    I mean, knowing this I have no problem picking them up and throwing them over the balcony. It comforts my human feelings to know they get punishment for their trespassings but will recover in the end.
    No harm done. Right?

    Recently though, they started to make sound! Let's call it evolution or whatever but it keeps me up at night. :(
    I mean, I pick them up, I hear them screaming and then throw them over a cliff. Mind you, I do mind the birds and have learned where to throw in the dark but still...

    I can punish humans, can justify suffering when actions are done. But a snail just being All He Can Be and then screaming for mercy before I throw it bothers me.:eek:

    Good thing I can be a total hypocrite too. I talked to my Mum about it and she gave me a lousy advise.
    What I did tonight is I bought some beer. She recommended dark beer and the 12% I got looks dark. I also bought the cheapest beer I got get (Euroshopper) and put a cup and a dish of beer.

    Snails may be slow, but they know fun when they smell it. They Likes Beer!
    Being lower on the IQ scale they have a fancy for cheap beer too as my Euroshopper cup of beer gets more action than my dish of 12% Atlas beer.
    Not that I mind, I like my Atlas.

    Tomorrow I will have a look at how many I caught but at least I don't have to listen to the screaming snails anymore. They go in silence now. :abducted:

    **Pictures on request. Don't blame me when snails drink themselves to death. I provide options, nothing more!!1!1!!!** :cool:
     
  2. SeanAustin

    SeanAustin Power Member

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    Snails... where do they get off?
     
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  3. Amsterdammer

    Amsterdammer Power Member

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    I don't know. I do know they get offed now tho...
     
  4. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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  5. jdog37

    jdog37 Power Member

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    They like beer and pot. True story: My brother in law was trying to start some pot seeds. He would sprout them in a damp rag and then transplant them to some flower pots outside. They would get up an inch or two and suddenly disappear. This happened a couple of times.

    One evening I came in from work right around dark and saw his flower pots on the porch and those snails where munching down on his plants.

    Those snails really know how to party!:rock:
     
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  6. ShadeDream

    ShadeDream Elite Member

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    What you smoking? :D
     
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  7. Amsterdammer

    Amsterdammer Power Member

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    Those look different tho. Does it work the same as with shrooms?:p

    They sure do!

    Better than the Blackbird running off with my soil tho. Didn't dare to confront him as he gave me the evil eye before he did it. You may think I am kidding but I'm not. :eek:

    Snails tho, they want to have fun before anyone else does, as your brother in law's story shows. :(

    Actually it is mostly beer tonight. :p

    Perhaps it is time for that talk. :) Been a while.
     
  8. E=MC²

    E=MC² Junior Member

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    There is nothing i regret more in my life than the 2 minutes i just spent reading this.
     
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  9. Amsterdammer

    Amsterdammer Power Member

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    I'm sorry for your loss.

    Please do keep in mind this is the Lounge and I never made a false representation of my message.

    Edit 2: Also, you must have had a happy life if reading my thread is what you regret most. Wish I could be so lucky.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2013
  10. E=MC²

    E=MC² Junior Member

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    Yes i know :D but still it was really weird!
     
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  11. ButcherPete

    ButcherPete Regular Member

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    I think he took pills he found on the floor...
     
  12. Amsterdammer

    Amsterdammer Power Member

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    Good!
    lolz!

    I like that song. :)
    Found pills disappointing but only tried it once so what do I know right?

    To be honest tho, I knew this story would raise some eyebrows but it is also what happened. Sometimes real life is stranger than fiction. :p
     
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  13. Techxan

    Techxan Elite Member

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    I knew a snail with an inferiority complex once. He saved up all his money and bougt a new corvette, then had the body pulled off and had a custom one put on there with a great big "S" on each door.

    I asked him why he did it and he said,

    "When I leave the red light, every one will say "Look at that "S" car go!!!""
     
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  14. Amsterdammer

    Amsterdammer Power Member

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    It wouldn't be safe from jazzc tho. :p

    But, it does show snail mentality. They got to have the best. I actually agree with them there, my strawberries taste great. My herbs do too. But after they get some time alone with it...

    Anyways, they now go happy to their end. Makes me feel bad as a human to hear them scream before they do. :eek:
     
  15. Techxan

    Techxan Elite Member

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    Usually when they get drunk they just start laughing and fall in......
     
  16. ShadeDream

    ShadeDream Elite Member

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    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2016
  17. elschlongo

    elschlongo Junior Member

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    I would like to see your drunk snails