1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Review My Sales Letter

Discussion in 'Offline Marketing' started by simplybebop, Aug 3, 2009.

  1. simplybebop

    simplybebop Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    177
    Location:
    Greesnboro, NC
    Let me know what you guys think, I have about 5 versions but I am being overly critical. So just tell me what you think.
     

    Attached Files:

  2. three3s

    three3s Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    195
    I thought it was really good mate. I would maybe include a paragraph where you say something along the lines of "60% of small businesses are losing out on massive amounts of business because they don't have any online presence etc" because I know that in the UK this is true, STILL 60% of small businesses have no website. Will make the people who are really clueless about the internet think they can get a site and the floodgates will just open.

    I'd also drop the old "This offer might expire at midnight!" lol, well maybe not that but something to promote a bit urgency in the business owner to get on to your site pronto or give you a phone.
     
  3. kobees home

    kobees home Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2008
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    17
    i think it was great, but my question is how are you making $ if you only charging 42$ monthly
     
  4. three3s

    three3s Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    195
    Yeah I was kind of curious about that too. The way you have set it out in your sales pitch, and if you actually deliver what you say in it then I would charge like 4 times that amount.

    I'm launching a similar service in my area and I will be charging small businesses £100 just for having the site built and hosting. PPC/SEO/OPTIN FORM/blah blah blah will all be available at additional monthly costs :cool:
     
  5. kurry

    kurry Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    6
    I thought it was good to, maybe needs something a deadline to your offer to add urgency. Also think that you're 42 bucks is way to little for what you're offering