Review My Sales Letter

Discussion in 'Offline Marketing' started by simplybebop, Aug 3, 2009.

  1. simplybebop

    simplybebop Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    177
    Location:
    Greesnboro, NC
    Let me know what you guys think, I have about 5 versions but I am being overly critical. So just tell me what you think.
     

    Attached Files:

  2. three3s

    three3s Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    198
    I thought it was really good mate. I would maybe include a paragraph where you say something along the lines of "60% of small businesses are losing out on massive amounts of business because they don't have any online presence etc" because I know that in the UK this is true, STILL 60% of small businesses have no website. Will make the people who are really clueless about the internet think they can get a site and the floodgates will just open.

    I'd also drop the old "This offer might expire at midnight!" lol, well maybe not that but something to promote a bit urgency in the business owner to get on to your site pronto or give you a phone.
     
  3. kobees home

    kobees home Registered Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2008
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    17
    i think it was great, but my question is how are you making $ if you only charging 42$ monthly
     
  4. three3s

    three3s Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    198
     
  5. kurry

    kurry Newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    6
    I thought it was good to, maybe needs something a deadline to your offer to add urgency. Also think that you're 42 bucks is way to little for what you're offering