Relationship Breakdown Blues

D

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This one is for the soft guys out there. How do you deal with a relationship breakdown with the girl you thought was "the one"? I can expect a flood of cocaine and hookers memes...but I'd love to hear some solid healthy advice.
 
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Speaking from the other side of the equation:

Treat it just like a IM journey that just isnt working

1: list all the things you've learned from the relationship

2: thank your luck stars you are no longer spending energy on something that will never work out

3: stay positive and realise this frees you up to discover the right fit

4: think about all the good stuff and realise you're going to experience better than that with someone else
 
paydette said:
3: stay positive and realise this frees you up to discover the right fit

4: think about all the good stuff and realise you're going to experience better than that with someone else
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These two I find the hardest. I think every man has the brief moments of "fuck bitches get money" and often stay stuck in that mindset for sometime..however romantics are mentally fucked in this phase of a romance ending.
 
wirestyle said:
This one is for the soft guys out there. How do you deal with a relationship breakdown with the girl you thought was "the one"? I can expect a flood of cocaine and hookers memes...but I'd love to hear some solid healthy advice.
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You now know what to look for in your next relationship, kind of like how you go thru a bad relationship but at the end you know what warning signs to look for

After a few relationships you can see what traits you like and what to avoid.

Also there's too many variables to know a girl is the one. You don't know what can happen in the future it's literally impossible to compute
 
wirestyle said:
This one is for the soft guys out there. How do you deal with a relationship breakdown with the girl you thought was "the one"? I can expect a flood of cocaine and hookers memes...but I'd love to hear some solid healthy advice.
Click to expand...

All those things you’ve been putting off? Do them now.
Reconnect with yourself.
Understand that in your life you're the one for yourself and change the way you see relationships, as a chance to connect with someone to share a journey together rather than finding someone who completes you.
Take your time to grief. Embrace your pain and don't hide it. Admit to yourself that it's time to suffer and go all the way. Suffer and don't fight it.
Don't get stuck in negative thoughts.
In the end, time really does heal. So give yourself time.
Read some Bukowski.

Life will go on and this you're going through now will make you a better wiser person and someone more ready to give love if you let all the angst and pain guide you and don't try to pretend all is good and well.
 
BluesTradition said:
Take your time to grief. Embrace your pain and don't hide it. Admit to yourself that it's time to suffer and go all the way. Suffer and don't fight it..
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I tell myself "You will feel shit for a few days, let it happen" but then some fucked up demons start telling me "oh but you can fix it, you can change her mind" and then some obsessive compulsive behaviour takes over...it's really not healthy. I know society has this "men are big and don't hurt" vibe but I've never fell into that category. I've always been very open about mental health and feeling down about things. It's just very shitty when that other person you used to share these feelings with ends up being that very person that has decided it's not gonna work.

When someone dies I think it's actually easier to hurt but it's worse when the other person is still there somehow in the cyberspace. It's a very difficult situation that I know soo many people go through. I just love to hear how people cope.
 
Make yourself busy. Maybe start a journey here on that one IM thing you wanna do for all these years. and just Let it go.

 
wirestyle said:
I tell myself "You will feel shit for a few days, let it happen" but then some fucked up demons start telling me "oh but you can fix it, you can change her mind" and then some obsessive compulsive behaviour takes over...it's really not healthy. I know society has this "men are big and don't hurt" vibe but I've never fell into that category. I've always been very open about mental health and feeling down about things. It's just very shitty when that other person you used to share these feelings with ends up being that very person that has decided it's not gonna work.

When someone dies I think it's actually easier to grieve but it's worse when the other person is still there somehow in the cyberspace. It's a very difficult situation that I know soo many people go through. I just love to hear how people cope.
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Let the demons run amok. Let them loose. Let them talk all they want. Just don't get stuck in them. In reality men are very fragile and most of it comes from always having to pretend we're strong and above pain and fear. You shouldn't be in control if you don't want to be.

Let this experience exposes you. Learn more about yourself, your shortcomings, your weaknesses, flaws and failures. In turn, you'll gain more strength and depth, and at the end of it you'll be more confident in knowing you've discovered more about yourself.
 
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It's hard to come out from breakdown, particularly if you believed that "this is the girl who can make your life better".
First of all, decide your self, Do you want to forget her or Do you want to convince her! Take actions according to that.

Don't be alone for the next few months. Be with someone who can make you smile and who can care for you.

Most important don't use alcohol and weed stuff. That will make you mad at this time.
 
wirestyle said:
These two I find the hardest. I think every man has the brief moments of "fuck bitches get money" and often stay stuck in that mindset for sometime..however romantics are mentally fucked in this phase of a romance ending.
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Totally understand. Just remember that this has happened hundreds of millions of times. Others have survived heartbreak. You will too
 
The world is round and its too fast to turn-around, its just you meet someone that is not right for you. don't worry man, I know it not easy to move-on, falling in the ground is allowed but standing up is mandatory :).

Accept the fact that you also have a mistake and learn from it. maybe you know, you'll meet someone better than what you have before. it's not worthy to lose yourself.
 
Best Answer: cocaine and hookers. Solves all problems. After 3 months of that put the pieces back together. (jks cocaine and hookers solves no problems, meditate instead bro and do gym and be with good friends and focus on a project and try to help people you love.. that will get you through it).
 
Been there. First of all, you have to accept the loss, the sad feeling, and anything related to that situation. Deny it, will make you hard to move on.

After that, you can do coping. Coping your problem with loneliness by meeting another girl. And coping with your feeling by doing what you love or something that makes you feel fun.

But the most important thing is the first step. Accept your loss. Embrace your sadness. Cry if you have to.
 
It's a market, if there is a better product (man) then she will chose that one, you need to market yourself better I guess.
 
To forget one from your life, just get yourself busy in some tasks or with friends.

Try to do those tasks which will keep your mind focused on those tasks rather than thinking of that person.

Do the stuff which you like and you enjoy in doing taht
 
wirestyle said:
This one is for the soft guys out there. How do you deal with a relationship breakdown with the girl you thought was "the one"? I can expect a flood of cocaine and hookers memes...but I'd love to hear some solid healthy advice.
Click to expand...

After beating the shit out of the guy she cheated on me with and then he had the balls to phone me to tell me to fuck off... I can honestly say the gym works.. now you don't have to use the gym in prison BUT any gym will help.
 
t2van said:
After beating the shit out of the guy she cheated on me with and then he had the balls to phone me to tell me to fuck off... I can honestly say the gym works.. now you don't have to use the gym in prison BUT any gym will help.
Click to expand...

So many people mention that working out helps....getting out of the down period and motivating ones self to do such a thing is really difficult
 
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