Really funny one-liners..

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Buzzika, Jan 7, 2011.

  1. Buzzika

    Buzzika Supreme Member

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    File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

    Windows/DOS: General Failure reading disk.
    User: Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

    Windows supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously

    PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days

    I'm sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998) --
    Q: How can you tell if a geek is extroverted?
    A: He stares at your shoes.

    Q: Did you hear about the Coder that got stuck in his shower for a week?
    A: The instructions on his shampoo said: Lather, rinse, repeat.
     
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  2. gergo2007

    gergo2007 Senior Member

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    Lather, rinse, repeat. OMLOL made my day :))
    thx
     
  3. bertbaby

    bertbaby Elite Member

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    Thanks for the smile. To round this out thought I throw in a Mac & Ubuntu quips:


    Q: What is the difference between a Mac User and a Terrorist?

    A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.


    As for Ubuntu even the jokes are nerdy and not very funny:

    Did you hear about the fork in the Christian Ubuntu? Apparently, one of the developers sent in 95 patches, but they were rejected. Now there's a Protestant Christian Ubuntu. The main difference is that the Protestant version has no icons.
     
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  4. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  5. bernieblood

    bernieblood Newbie

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    Lmao, that one about the tips picture was pretty good. Irony is always something that has tickled my funny bone, so to speak.
     
  6. freedomwriter454

    freedomwriter454 Regular Member

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  7. Divinityfound

    Divinityfound Registered Member

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    Definitely made my day :)
     
  8. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    [​IMG]

    :brick:

    Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

    If s*x is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong
    :D Enjoy! :D


     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2011
  9. BENNY8877

    BENNY8877 Supreme Member

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  10. GreyWolf

    GreyWolf Executive VIP

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    Here's a few that I've always liked -

    "You are wasting our crawl budget!"
    -Matt Cutts, 2010

    "640K of memory should be enough for anybody.''
    -Bill Gates, 1981

    "I think there's a world market for maybe five computers."
    -Chairman of IBM, 1943

    "Computers in the future may weigh no more that one and a half tons."
    -Popular Mechanics, 1949

    "I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last the year."
    -Chief Business Editor, Prentis Hall, 1957

    And by far my favorite,
    "There is no reason anyone in the right state of mind will want a computer in their home."
    -Ken Olson, President of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977


    Many of those are misquotes or out of context quotes, but still funny. lol
     
  11. Debian

    Debian BANNED BANNED Premium Member

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    A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

    Alpha. Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."

    A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those from?

    A user friendly computer first requires a friendly user.

    Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
     
  12. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    A 2-liner
    A father's snail-mail to his son >>>

    "blah.. blah..
    ...
    ...
    ...

    P.S.:

    I forgot to slip in the 100 Dollars cheque you wanted, but by the time I remembered to do it I had already pasted this letter and had put it in the mail. So Sorry I could not send it..."


    :D

    I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her

    Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, "No, but I did get the license number"

    ------------

    Three doctors are standing around one day are talkin bout the economy and how it's affecting their careers

    One doc says "F*ck in my country I can take a lung from 1 guy put it in another and they'll be looking for work in 6 weeks".

    Another doc say's "F*ck that ain't nothin in my country i can take a kidney from one guy put it in another and they'll be lookin for work in 3 weeks".

    The other doc say's "F*ck that ain't nothin in my country I can take a half of a heart and put it in another guy and they'll both be looking for work in two weeks."

    Well little Nicknasty say's "F*ck that ain't nothin in my country we can take an a$$hole out of Texas put him into the Whitehouse and everybody in the nation's lookin for work the next day."

    ------------

    :D
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2011