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Really funny one-liners..

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by satyawrat, Jan 7, 2011.

  1. satyawrat

    satyawrat Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

    Windows/DOS: General Failure reading disk.
    User: Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

    Windows supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously

    PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days

    I'm sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998) --
    Q: How can you tell if a geek is extroverted?
    A: He stares at your shoes.

    Q: Did you hear about the Coder that got stuck in his shower for a week?
    A: The instructions on his shampoo said: Lather, rinse, repeat.
     
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  2. gergo2007

    gergo2007 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Lather, rinse, repeat. OMLOL made my day :))
    thx
     
  3. bertbaby

    bertbaby Elite Member

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    Thanks for the smile. To round this out thought I throw in a Mac & Ubuntu quips:


    Q: What is the difference between a Mac User and a Terrorist?

    A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.


    As for Ubuntu even the jokes are nerdy and not very funny:

    Did you hear about the fork in the Christian Ubuntu? Apparently, one of the developers sent in 95 patches, but they were rejected. Now there's a Protestant Christian Ubuntu. The main difference is that the Protestant version has no icons.
     
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  4. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    Sun, Mon, Tue, WTF, Sat!!! :)
    [​IMG]
     
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  5. bernieblood

    bernieblood Newbie

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    Lmao, that one about the tips picture was pretty good. Irony is always something that has tickled my funny bone, so to speak.
     
  6. freedomwriter454

    freedomwriter454 Regular Member

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  7. Divinityfound

    Divinityfound Registered Member

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    Definitely made my day :)
     
  8. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    [​IMG]

    :brick:

    Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

    If s*x is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong
    :D Enjoy! :D


     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2011
  9. BENNY8877

    BENNY8877 Supreme Member

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  10. GreyWolf

    GreyWolf Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    Here's a few that I've always liked -

    "You are wasting our crawl budget!"
    -Matt Cutts, 2010

    "640K of memory should be enough for anybody.''
    -Bill Gates, 1981

    "I think there's a world market for maybe five computers."
    -Chairman of IBM, 1943

    "Computers in the future may weigh no more that one and a half tons."
    -Popular Mechanics, 1949

    "I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last the year."
    -Chief Business Editor, Prentis Hall, 1957

    And by far my favorite,
    "There is no reason anyone in the right state of mind will want a computer in their home."
    -Ken Olson, President of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977


    Many of those are misquotes or out of context quotes, but still funny. lol
     
  11. Debian

    Debian Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

    Alpha. Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."

    A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those from?

    A user friendly computer first requires a friendly user.

    Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
     
  12. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    A 2-liner
    A father's snail-mail to his son >>>

    "blah.. blah..
    ...
    ...
    ...

    P.S.:

    I forgot to slip in the 100 Dollars cheque you wanted, but by the time I remembered to do it I had already pasted this letter and had put it in the mail. So Sorry I could not send it..."


    :D

    I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her

    Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, "No, but I did get the license number"

    ------------

    Three doctors are standing around one day are talkin bout the economy and how it's affecting their careers

    One doc says "F*ck in my country I can take a lung from 1 guy put it in another and they'll be looking for work in 6 weeks".

    Another doc say's "F*ck that ain't nothin in my country i can take a kidney from one guy put it in another and they'll be lookin for work in 3 weeks".

    The other doc say's "F*ck that ain't nothin in my country I can take a half of a heart and put it in another guy and they'll both be looking for work in two weeks."

    Well little Nicknasty say's "F*ck that ain't nothin in my country we can take an a$$hole out of Texas put him into the Whitehouse and everybody in the nation's lookin for work the next day."

    ------------

    :D
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2011