[REAL] Crazy stories... Got one?

indianfreak said:

I would love to read the stories that you have.

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Floopa75 said:

This one time I made a few clicks, wrote some words and then put it on the internet. Before I knew it money started flowing to me and IDK WHAT TO DO. So I went out and bought a Ferrari and yea

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Zwielicht said:

One cold night when I was 7 years old, I had awoken to the sound of someone clandestinely leaving the room I was sleeping in. That night, my cousin was spending the night and was sleeping in the top bunk, so I had figured that he needed to use the restroom. An hour had passed when I realised he had yet to return to his bed. My curiosity got the best of me, so I quietly rose out of bed to look for my cousin. I surreptitiously crept around the house, searching every room, but he was nowhere to be found.

Upon my return to the bed, I noticed a figure in the backyard at the corner of my eye. I peaked outside and saw a ghastly sight that could not be unseen. He was silhouetted by the moonlight, but it was definitely him, looming over the dog with his undies down. I could hear his panting through the windows as he made an endeavour to engage in coitus with the family dog.

Once he was finished with what I later discovered to be his nightly ritual, he returned to his top bunk with the strong stench of mutt and shame enveloping his body.

My Cousin The Cynophile, The End.

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Zwielicht said:

My Cousin The Cynophile, The End.

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Zwielicht said:

One cold night when I was 7 years old, I had awoken to the sound of someone clandestinely leaving the room I was sleeping in. That night, my cousin was spending the night and was sleeping in the top bunk, so I had figured that he needed to use the restroom. An hour had passed when I realised he had yet to return to his bed. My curiosity got the best of me, so I quietly rose out of bed to look for my cousin. I surreptitiously crept around the house, searching every room, but he was nowhere to be found.

Upon my return to the bed, I noticed a figure in the backyard at the corner of my eye. I peaked outside and saw a ghastly sight that could not be unseen. He was silhouetted by the moonlight, but it was definitely him, looming over the dog with his undies down. I could hear his panting through the windows as he made an endeavour to engage in coitus with the family dog.

Once he was finished with what I later discovered to be his nightly ritual, he returned to his top bunk with the strong stench of mutt and shame enveloping his body.

My Cousin The Cynophile, The End.

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Boris66 said:

My friend had taken driving license for car crash to tree on drugs. Few months after this he was making party. I was laughing we will end up in car. He was like no no noway. Cigs ran out and noone was willing to drive so who will drive? Ofc my friend. Bought cigs and went for small ride. (he is really good driver). I noticed cops and told him about them. He used signal light for "right turn" and cops after finished right turn turned on theyr lights. I was like daaam thats really happening, its real life really strong memory. So I was like wth we are screwed. If anyone remember movie untouchable, its starts with old man and driver going over speed limit cops stop them and old man is acting infarct or some shit, so I went for same role. I was twitching with myself holding my lungs etc I cant breathe friend told them I m crisis. They were like okay you cant do anything about this someone may loose life. They told us to follow them. They made for us "leading car", we went through red lights etc. We were enjoying music chatting and laughing we gonna role play shit out of this. We are walking to hospital, I m playing totally exhausted etc person my friend told me he though for moment I was really at problems In hospital with cops they put me infront of one guy I was like no no I m okay noo you are going first. They put me in "welcome room" of nurse that worked that night. Checked my pulse I was like I need highest pulse 216 or so, Im chilling police chatting with friend few mins another pulse test a bit worse since I was chilled but again holded breathe etc 186 she looks on me like okay theres something bad put me on wheelchair I see how police is taking my friend and she is pushing me on wheelchair. I ask her for water, I was really exhausted I ve get to my role. Pleasee water. She almost shouts on me no ask doc for water. I m at doctor ask for water and she is like no first tests and then water. I m really pleasing and asking for water I really need it noo. I m like wth you aint gonna fuck with me. Okay if I end this up can I get water yes, just sign this up ohh you dont even need to I get water, in 2 minutes leaving nurse at welcome room is kinda shocked you are okay? Yee np. Running from hospital at 2:30~ am in shirt another police watch is ignoring me quite suprising and I m like wth my friend gonna end up in jail. Get back home tell story friends like daam He ended up for 1 day in some police station and they took him to another cell where they put ppl before court. We had keys made party for few more days. He met friend at cell who get caught like retard, on parking lot for alcohol . Shit around he didnt ended up in jail we could prolly get away with this but we didnt but kinda cool story but my englando takes much of it.
Sorry I really dont want to re-read it atm....

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Zwielicht said:

One cold night when I was 7 years old, I had awoken to the sound of someone clandestinely leaving the room I was sleeping in. That night, my cousin was spending the night and was sleeping in the top bunk, so I had figured that he needed to use the restroom. An hour had passed when I realised he had yet to return to his bed. My curiosity got the best of me, so I quietly rose out of bed to look for my cousin. I surreptitiously crept around the house, searching every room, but he was nowhere to be found.

Upon my return to the bed, I noticed a figure in the backyard at the corner of my eye. I peaked outside and saw a ghastly sight that could not be unseen. He was silhouetted by the moonlight, but it was definitely him, looming over the dog with his undies down. I could hear his panting through the windows as he made an endeavour to engage in coitus with the family dog.

Once he was finished with what I later discovered to be his nightly ritual, he returned to his top bunk with the strong stench of mutt and shame enveloping his body.

My Cousin The Cynophile, The End.

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Boris66 said:

My friend had taken driving license for car crash to tree on drugs. Few months after this he was making party. I was laughing we will end up in car. He was like no no noway. Cigs ran out and noone was willing to drive so who will drive? Ofc my friend. Bought cigs and went for small ride. (he is really good driver). I noticed cops and told him about them. He used signal light for "right turn" and cops after finished right turn turned on theyr lights. I was like daaam thats really happening, its real life really strong memory. So I was like wth we are screwed. If anyone remember movie untouchable, its starts with old man and driver going over speed limit cops stop them and old man is acting infarct or some shit, so I went for same role. I was twitching with myself holding my lungs etc I cant breathe friend told them I m crisis. They were like okay you cant do anything about this someone may loose life. They told us to follow them. They made for us "leading car", we went through red lights etc. We were enjoying music chatting and laughing we gonna role play shit out of this. We are walking to hospital, I m playing totally exhausted etc person my friend told me he though for moment I was really at problems In hospital with cops they put me infront of one guy I was like no no I m okay noo you are going first. They put me in "welcome room" of nurse that worked that night. Checked my pulse I was like I need highest pulse 216 or so, Im chilling police chatting with friend few mins another pulse test a bit worse since I was chilled but again holded breathe etc 186 she looks on me like okay theres something bad put me on wheelchair I see how police is taking my friend and she is pushing me on wheelchair. I ask her for water, I was really exhausted I ve get to my role. Pleasee water. She almost shouts on me no ask doc for water. I m at doctor ask for water and she is like no first tests and then water. I m really pleasing and asking for water I really need it noo. I m like wth you aint gonna fuck with me. Okay if I end this up can I get water yes, just sign this up ohh you dont even need to I get water, in 2 minutes leaving nurse at welcome room is kinda shocked you are okay? Yee np. Running from hospital at 2:30~ am in shirt another police watch is ignoring me quite suprising and I m like wth my friend gonna end up in jail. Get back home tell story friends like daam He ended up for 1 day in some police station and they took him to another cell where they put ppl before court. We had keys made party for few more days. He met friend at cell who get caught like retard, on parking lot for alcohol . Shit around he didnt ended up in jail we could prolly get away with this but we didnt but kinda cool story but my englando takes much of it.
Sorry I really dont want to re-read it atm....

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mickyfu said:

Sorry for calling Charlie Floate all the time. I had no idea he was your cousin. Please forgive me.

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alwaysinvisible said:

This just happened like 10 minutes ago. Not as crazy as some stuff, but pretty gross.

We go into McD's bc dad wants a coffee. As they're making the coffee mom notices one of the employees behind the counter has a really bad nose bleed. He's standing there with a bloody towel, wiping his nose on his arm. Seriously. Just. That is disgusting.

Then, to make matters worse, mom asks the manager "Why are you letting him stand there with a bloody nose while you're serving food?" And the manager starts yelling at her.

"He is standing over the sink!"

Um. Bro. That sink is not for bodily fluids. That sink is for like wiping down the counters, cleaning up spills, etc.

Mom says "It doesn't matter. That's a health hazard. You could easily contaminate someone or something. And he has it all over his arm and is holding a towel full of it."

"No he isn't! He's cleaning himself up!"

Mom says "...Are you seriously arguing with me?"

The manager continues to yell at her and argue her down.

Mom turns around and tells everyone in the place in a really loud voice "Don't eat here! There's blood all over the counter from an employee nosebleed and the manager refuses to clean it up!"

You should have seen that place clear out lmao.

Then she turns back to the manager and tells him "Give me my money back for my coffee. And when you finish, I'm reporting you to every place I can think of."

And she did too. She got her money back and she reported them to corporate. Now she's trying to find the number for some health inspector or something.

This is why I don't eat fast food.

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