[Rant]Fiancés Youngest Son is a Lazy A$$!
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chad362wiley
Supreme Member
- Dec 8, 2011
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poison his drink 
Kronic
Registered Member
- Apr 11, 2010
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sounds like the kid is just used to that sort of lifestyle when around his mother. i mean, he's only 20. by no means am i making excuses for his behavior based on age, but what is his maturity level really at?. i doubt he's been out on his own much of his life. as already asked, did he have a father figure? is your fiancee supporting and indirectly encouraging this behavior?
why'd he leave north dakota and the oil industry? do you know what he was doing in that field? company i work fa has hired more than a few people straight out of the oil industry. as also mentioned above, maybe BHW would teach him a few things. he have any good contacts from that industry, maybe a JV with me and him? haha
one thing you really need to consider is how important is she in your life? he's been there about a month, right? and if you are engaged, that means you're planning on marrying this woman at some point in your life. is everything you have with her and everything you stand ta have in the future worth throwing away because of the son?
if it is your house, its your rules. no matter what she is going ta love him, cause its her son. doesnt mean she has ta like or approve of what he does. and a parent cant baby them forever. that may be what put him in this position in the first place. sounds like he needs some tough love, and it sounds like his mother is trying ta avoid that part. maybe this is where you need ta step in fa her. even if its her place, maybe you can approach it nicely and see if you can get through ta him. if this is what he was uesd ta growing up with her, maybe he just doesnt realize what he's doing nor understand that its bothering others.
regardless of who's place it is, i suggest you sit down with him and try ta talk ta him. a "im interested" approach instead of "you're lazy, get off your ass" approach will work better at first. i'm 23, and if someone my mom came at me with an approach similar ta your rant, i'd get pissed instantly and no matter what his intentions were, i'd give him hell fa even trying. but a more subtle approach, as if you're interested and possibly tryin ta help would work better with me. put your black hat on and think outside the box on how ta get the kid off his ass and doing something.
why'd he leave north dakota and the oil industry? do you know what he was doing in that field? company i work fa has hired more than a few people straight out of the oil industry. as also mentioned above, maybe BHW would teach him a few things. he have any good contacts from that industry, maybe a JV with me and him? haha
one thing you really need to consider is how important is she in your life? he's been there about a month, right? and if you are engaged, that means you're planning on marrying this woman at some point in your life. is everything you have with her and everything you stand ta have in the future worth throwing away because of the son?
if it is your house, its your rules. no matter what she is going ta love him, cause its her son. doesnt mean she has ta like or approve of what he does. and a parent cant baby them forever. that may be what put him in this position in the first place. sounds like he needs some tough love, and it sounds like his mother is trying ta avoid that part. maybe this is where you need ta step in fa her. even if its her place, maybe you can approach it nicely and see if you can get through ta him. if this is what he was uesd ta growing up with her, maybe he just doesnt realize what he's doing nor understand that its bothering others.
regardless of who's place it is, i suggest you sit down with him and try ta talk ta him. a "im interested" approach instead of "you're lazy, get off your ass" approach will work better at first. i'm 23, and if someone my mom came at me with an approach similar ta your rant, i'd get pissed instantly and no matter what his intentions were, i'd give him hell fa even trying. but a more subtle approach, as if you're interested and possibly tryin ta help would work better with me. put your black hat on and think outside the box on how ta get the kid off his ass and doing something.
steelballs
BANNED
- Dec 5, 2008
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Easy solution change your fiance no problems he will leave when she goes
astralslider
Newbie
- Aug 14, 2012
- 29
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yo man if shes hot then straighten up the kid. If she is worth leaving behind then move on because that's your anchor right there
swaggerboy
Junior Member
- Jan 18, 2011
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H2oBoy
Regular Member
- Mar 26, 2009
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We live in an apartment, that's in both of our names....
If I have a *talk* with him....my 'tone' w/him may not be one that would be deemed 'polite'...but rather....to the point...which, I know would then lead to issues w/the fiance'....I fee like I'm stuck between a rock and hard-place!
H2oBoy
Regular Member
- Mar 26, 2009
- 212
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You should introduce him to BHW. Have him start reading some money making threads and start making some $$.
This kid would rather work a manual job then do something that would lead to residual income!
GiorgioB
Supreme Member
- Feb 28, 2012
- 1,288
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Man.. come on. I was also like that at 20.. actually scratch that, I was much worse. I was smoking dope everyday, getting hammered with my friends at weekends.. my career goal was to be an English teacher cos you got plenty of holidays!
Now (4 years later) I'm working a 9-5 job + incorporated a company and running my business between 6pm and 1am everyday (8am-1am on weekends with small breaks).
Trust me, guys are lazy at that age, but that will change. He just needs to discover his thing, like my thing is IM now.
Now (4 years later) I'm working a 9-5 job + incorporated a company and running my business between 6pm and 1am everyday (8am-1am on weekends with small breaks).
Trust me, guys are lazy at that age, but that will change. He just needs to discover his thing, like my thing is IM now.
LOL. This describes some people that I know perfectly. Video games are the worst; the people I know are lazy as sin but at least they used to socialize before games. Now they rarely socialize and just eat, sleep and play video games. One of my friends doesn't even bother to put on clothes when I go to see him. I walk in and he will be unshaved, playing games on his computer in boxer shorts! Please put some clothes on at least. ​Used to have a job; lost it to circumstances outside his control, now this is his life.
yesiamj3ff
Newbie
- Feb 14, 2012
- 38
- 10
Posting a rant on a forum isn't going to solve your problem... Instead of complaining about the kid, gain some fundamental knowledge about what's effecting him and bond with him more. There are underlining issues that YOU need to address rather than her.
Often times, it's just frozen fear. It's a comfort bubble... He needs a reason to leave the house and be outside. Lack of a male figure causes this issue alot.
::Source:: Psychology major.
Often times, it's just frozen fear. It's a comfort bubble... He needs a reason to leave the house and be outside. Lack of a male figure causes this issue alot.
::Source:: Psychology major.
FJX
Regular Member
- Oct 13, 2011
- 365
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Hi, a guy turning 21 this July. That age is the "darkest" age of most person. I was worse - but I did realized my mistake although I haven't heard a word from my parents. Now I have numbers of ventures offline and online, and when I succeed (hopefully) they definitely deserve my help when they came up with me when I'm at my worst.
H2oBoy
Regular Member
- Mar 26, 2009
- 212
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sounds like the kid is just used to that sort of lifestyle when around his mother. i mean, he's only 20. by no means am i making excuses for his behavior based on age, but what is his maturity level really at?. i doubt he's been out on his own much of his life. as already asked, did he have a father figure? is your fiancee supporting and indirectly encouraging this behavior?
No, the kid didn't have a father figure-growing up!
By the time this kid was in his early teens...his mom had been in an car accident and eventually had to have some serious back-surgery...we're talking fused bones & rods inserted in her back. Over time, she just wasn't in the mood 1/2 the time to deal w/his sh**! So, I'm sure that's contributed to his 'learned behavior' over the last 5-7 years!
The only thing dudes do out there when not working is drink and smoke herb...he got started in doing both on a pretty regular basis, and finally got tired of it! So, I do commend him for not going down a path that could have killed him one way or another! But regardless, IMHO, that doesn't give him the right to live on our money while he's here!
Exactly what his job title and/or job description is...couldn't tell you!
Yeah..he arrived right around the 1st week of November...
I love my fiance'....but at this point, even before her youngest got here, I started thinking about whether or not I was truly IN LOVE with her! Like I mentioned, she does have a serious back-problem..and sometimes, I feel like all I've done in my last few relationships is go from one chick with problems to another!
We rent an apartment that's in both of our names...so, if I were to leave the fiance', then I'd feel guilty for sticking her in a sh** situation where she'd have to try and pay all the bills on what little income she gets from Uncle Sam!
I've thought about this a lot over the last few weeks..the only problem is...over the years, when I've tried to have similar conversations with people, I've been told my 'tone' is a little to 'confrontational'...when all I've done is try and be blunt w/the person I'm talking to!
I don't know...if it comes down to the point to where I need to have a talk w/this kid, I'll remember to try and be as polite as possible in order to not devastate his inner child!
twilightofidols
Power Member
- Nov 11, 2011
- 675
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He's 20 years old it's time to move out. It's really not your concern if he's on his phone all the time, or how big of a turd he acts like. Your job is just to be civil with him. I would talk to your fiance about the prospect of him moving out. Don't try to micromanage his behavior it's only going to backfire on you. The more you complain amount the more ammunition he's got to sling. The problem here isn't all those little things you mentioned, the problem lies with your relationship between you and your fiance. If he was 13 it'd be a different story, but a boy's gotta become a man.
I'm 25 and bust my ass to make a living with SEO. Maybe teach him IM get his head out of the wacky tobaccy.
I'm 25 and bust my ass to make a living with SEO. Maybe teach him IM get his head out of the wacky tobaccy.
H2oBoy
Regular Member
- Mar 26, 2009
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Well, all I can say is at that age, I WASN'T...nor were the friends I hung around!
Then again, *we* didn't have:
Playstions/XBoxes/Iphones/Ipads/Smartphones/Internet/YouTube/Social-Media/Etc.,Etc.,
H2oBoy
Regular Member
- Mar 26, 2009
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There's some serious truth to what you just said...guess I'm going to have to do some serious soul-searching here real soon! Thanks!