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Poor attitudes here?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by asianams, Feb 20, 2014.

  1. asianams

    asianams Newbie

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    I am a very positive person :cool:. I always cheer for my friend's & colleagues success. Why, however, do i get many responses with a negative attitude? I get sarcasm, defensiveness, or straight put-downs from members.

    I have the best intentions, I ask honest questions, I help people succeed everyday IRL, but something is different for me in this community. To me, it seems people are too sensitive, always interpreting negatively. I never came to this forum with the intention to offend anyone. Is it My post count? My username? Is the average forum member not confident in themselves so they resort to these behaviors? I'm clearly stretching for answers here!!! help!

    Your thoughts are valuable to me! Thank you, in advance, for your help! :D
     
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    Last edited: Feb 20, 2014
  2. TheMoneyWizard

    TheMoneyWizard Elite Member

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    I think you need thicker skin, if this upsets you on a forum, how do you cope IRL?
     
  3. asianams

    asianams Newbie

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    it doesn't upset me at all. I'm just looking to get the most out of BHW. I see every non-productive comment as a wasted opportunity. Maybe I'm wrong to expect more.

    btw, I deal with very difficult people on a daily basis IRL, I work in a notoriously tough industry where we talk s**t to each other daily... it is a way of life here. We make fun of each other to pass time. (haha, my one co-worker will tell people I don't have feelings... maybe he is right). It isn't about feelings, it is about a desire to be productive with the limited time I have to dedicate to IM :) (hey, we all have limited time on this earth). I am results oriented. I appreciate people pointing out flaws/problems because it accelerates the accomplishment of goals and the quality of the product we produce. However, when people throw up sarcasm or get defensive, these are roadblocks to me. I dont understand why they're throwing up these counterproductive comments but it clearly comes from a particular perception that I don't see.

    IRL I am in a role where I have to ask unpopular questions, know when to trust people, and know when they are trying to get out of work. I also have to be honest, I have to disappoint, hold people accountable and it means having difficult conversations every day... these are a lot easier to have IRL bc I can read a person's body language and re-write the narrative before they want to leave the conversation. Even in our industry my guys can be so stressed on a particular day I'll treat them differently bc I know they have some heavy stuff on their mind.. aka, I'm tough but I can be flexible if need be, and coming to this community I've tried to be welcoming. I just think I've seen enough people act negatively to tell me I may be doing something poorly in this community.

    I just want to learn and get things done... at the end of the day. lol.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2014
  4. Tosmekop

    Tosmekop Supreme Member

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    No offense, but you paint yourself as a target, simply by creating a thread like this. You're just going to have to get over it. This is actually a great community, compared to, say, Youtube.. You can post a video of a cute newborn kitten and be called every type of faggot and/or racial slur that's ever been used. And even some that haven't yet been invented. It's not BHW. It's the internet, coupled with the safety of an anonymous connection behind a computer monitor from some unknown distance from whomever you decide to insult.
     
  5. switch_2012

    switch_2012 Power Member

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    Dont take anything personal mate, cheer up and move on - you are getting attitude from members because you are fairly new here, trust me i was like you when i first started many may years ago... but i am doing ok now:)
     
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  6. asianams

    asianams Newbie

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    I'm definitely not blaming anything on the BHW community. We all know different communities have different cultures and I am here to learn. If I couldn't handle a target painted on my back, I would not have created this thread!

    I'm pretty tough, I can handle harsh criticism. Seems like it is paying off already.
     
  7. shortgigs

    shortgigs Regular Member

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    Don't take on that energy nor manifest it. Just keep moving forward and know you're own worth.

    I watch lots of Oprah.
     
  8. asianams

    asianams Newbie

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    OWN? Mmm that is where it is AT!

    Everyone gets a new CAAAAAR!!!! Hahahaha.
     
  9. Duffers5000

    Duffers5000 Elite Member

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    Do you have any examples of the negativity you have encountered ?....maybe a link to a thread.

    I usually only see scammers,bullshitters and timewasters getting a rough ride. Generally you will get a positive response to a positive contribution.
     
  10. Reeshua

    Reeshua Power Member

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    I actually think that most people here are pretty level-headed. Didn't experience anything negative at all. :D Just give it time and you'll get used to the culture.
     
  11. TheUnborn

    TheUnborn Elite Member

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    What is the point of this thread?
     
  12. keytenx

    keytenx Supreme Member

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    maybe you have asked a question in the past that can be answered by the search box and yet you started the thread anyway. Usually that's the scenario where daggers and swords will rain down on who ever started the thread. :)
     
  13. WizGizmo

    WizGizmo Super Moderator Staff Member Premium Member

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    Considering the fact that we have over 500,000 members of all different
    ages and levels of maturity (and immaturity), you can expect that you
    will run into a diverse amount of personalities with various attitudes.

    When you post a thread or make a reply on BHW, you are on a very
    large stage where some people will cheer you and some people may
    boo you. However, if you are honest, sincere, and well-meaning,
    there is nothing to worry about. The majority of people on BHW are
    good people and they are the ones to hang with. Ignore the bad apples.

    The staff notices everything and everyone, and if we see that certain
    individuals have a habit of creating trouble on our forum, it is just a
    matter of time before they "disappear" from our boards.
     
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  14. asianams

    asianams Newbie

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    Could be. I try to keep that in mind when creating a thread bc I've seen advice that warns against this. Very possible though and I wouldn't be surprised if this is the case. Thx keytenx.
     
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  15. asianams

    asianams Newbie

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    I'm looking for criticism if it would make me a better, more constructive member here. I'm trying to figure out how to make the most of this great community.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2014
  16. keytenx

    keytenx Supreme Member

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    you are welcome buddy! :)
     
  17. deedee1whoa

    deedee1whoa Power Member

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    Exactly like some guys in here already said, don't take it personally.

    Good luck, keep working on yourself. ;)
     
  18. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Premium Member

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    This is one of the best forums with a great community on the internet, so I am sorry to say but yes it must be YOU that brings out the negativity.

    I don't see that much negativity on BHW but I do see realism when some members get carried away.

    Also keep in mind that many of us like to joke around too.
     
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  19. ardley216

    ardley216 Elite Member

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    Spends 16 days in this community - Judges the whole lot.

    Dude, I've spent nearly SIX years here, and I have never seen a forum of such harmony of this size. the only poor attitude is yours. Grow a pair?
     
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  20. MachineLord

    MachineLord Supreme Member

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    Stop whining... take action! Welcome to BHW!