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Please rate my squeeze page

Discussion in 'Clickbank' started by pxoxrxn, Sep 6, 2012.

  1. pxoxrxn

    pxoxrxn Supreme Member

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    Hey everyone, I just created my first CB product an it is currently under review for approval. I have never made a squeeze page before so if you could please let me know what I could do to improve it ect... that would be nice!

    http://lookanfeelgood.com
     
  2. rachelmarieluv

    rachelmarieluv Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Typos! "Make a commitment yo yourself" "an" instead of and...
     
  3. bigballin6161

    bigballin6161 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Ok just checked it out. There is numerous spelling/grammer errors throughout. Second of all its not a squeeze page, its a sales page. A squeeze is where you collect emails and give away something for free to build your list...2 different things entirely. Also some of the stuff stated on there is not true at all like exercise to lose weight does not work...since when? Dont mean to bust your balls and congrats on actually going through and making something which is more than most will ever do. I would study some successful sales pages and learn some copywriting or pay someone do it, because that is probably the most important element of creating a product. Good luck!
     
  4. Streamengine

    Streamengine Registered Member

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    I actually like "Make a commitment yo"
     
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  5. pxoxrxn

    pxoxrxn Supreme Member

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    Actually psychologists have proven that exercising for extrinsic reasons may result in exercise adoption but does not result in exercise maintenance. I studied this an wrote a paper or exercise adoption and maintenance an most people will only exercise regularly if they do so for intrinsic reasons.

    I will fix the spelling and grammar.

    Cheers
     
  6. seoreports

    seoreports Junior Member

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    why are squeeze pages always ugly as sin?
     
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  7. Ramsweb

    Ramsweb Senior Member

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    You will need to provide a lot more information to sell this e-book. Correct the spelling mistakes too. People won't take you seriously otherwise.

    Here's a list of changes I would make

    Big Heading - It is way too long. Limit it to 8 or 10 words at the most
    Small Heading - Let people know that you are selling an e-book. It is not clear that you are selling an e-book until they read the last sentence.
    Testimonials - Instead of just saying that dieting and exercising doesn't work, have a few testimonials that say
    "This was exactly what I needed. No insane diets and no monster workout sessions at the gym. Just a smart plan for rapid weight loss"

    Of course, it will help if you have a good product. Did you read the e-book? Do you think it is a good program. It is a pretty tall claim to say exercises won't help you lose weight. Instead of saying exercises don't make you lose weight, say something like "Revolutionary weight loss plan that doesn't require dieting or exercise schedules".

    It will all come down to the quality of the e-book I guess. Read the book and give out teasers of what it really has to offer. That is your best chance of driving up conversions.
     
  8. seo-dude

    seo-dude BANNED BANNED

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    You need to update the content & correct spelling & grammatical mistakes. Add more content to it & video overview will be helpful to make it look legit.
     
  9. seoreports

    seoreports Junior Member

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    i recommend you ugly it up a bit more too...you can make it much more uglier. That always seems to help with squeeze pages. Try to make it look like it's 1995.
     
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  10. rulez05

    rulez05 Power Member

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    "your yourself?? " too many typo you should correct it first
    and it should be "to yourself"
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2012
  11. islandman1010

    islandman1010 Elite Member

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    I think there isnt enough content. Most diet sales pages are packed with pics and reviews by people that keeps the reader interested as they scroll down. I read eveything in about 1 minute and then my choice is to move on or spend $24.99. Dont think that will tempt anyone. You need lots of facts and figures, graphs etc for a diet site. They want to read what will work for them this time that didnt work last time they tried. The book graphics arent very good at all. Also i dont quite get the use of the word "an". Its just not correct, if anything it should be 'n' and in Rock 'n' Roll. Hope that helps.
     
  12. dog-tag

    dog-tag Senior Member

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    No content found on the page now??
     
  13. limey

    limey Regular Member

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    A four from the Swedish judge.
     
  14. jhonmarker

    jhonmarker Newbie

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    hmm, 5.5/20
     
  15. 10zen

    10zen Regular Member

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    It's sales page.
    But you have pop up asking to enter name and email.

    Look at similar product sales page from others who are doing good
    and copy it/swipe it. That's the best thing you can do.
     
  16. IMNeolution

    IMNeolution BANNED BANNED

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    I would redesign the page and use optimize press wordpress theme.
     
  17. rohit007

    rohit007 Junior Member

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    You need to change a lot.Look for other squeeze pages in the same niche...
     
  18. dog-tag

    dog-tag Senior Member

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    100% make over needed. It finally load up for me slowly, so you need a much faster server first of all.

    If you look at your graphics, they're done in backwards fashion. You have the text blending in with "art work" and it doesn't stand out.

    I would pretty much say that nothing is correct on the page, you need ALOT more content, and you NEED to pay a designer to do a proper landing page.

    Fair play for giving it a go and sharing here though, most people won't ever get that far.
     
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