Permanently Closed Marketplace Sales Thread

[Deleted member 855230]

I need to save this thread to contact when my company order.

I'll be waiting, while watching, and waiting.

Not gonna lie, I wish I had the chops to make things sound sexy like that bit about the gypsy lady. Gonna have to brush up on my Danielle Steele.

I've never read any Danielle Steele, but you're right. That sample does sound sexy.

I wrote that, with my eyes closed and my mind in the Elysium fields. My mind was trying to convince me that I could almost feel the sun on my face. I was smiling when I wrote it, trying to escape my current realm of existence. Problem was, that I was sitting on an old squeaky office chair, in a dark corner of my home. The foundation is busted, so that side of the house leans a bit. Enough for the chair to want to roll. But that wasn't what was keeping me from truly experiencing Elysium. The room I had set up my computer office, had a musty smell. Probably because Houston never seems to dry out. There were days that even candles wouldn't cover the smell, and steam vacuums only seemed to keep the floors wet. This was before the storm that brought the floodwater into my house.

I'm in that area of the house right now, smiling. I was blessed by having a hurricane bring water into the house. It gave me an excuse to rip out the carpet. Although it feels like we're living in a garage, it could be worse. The floors are now simply unfinished concrete. Sure, they're smooth. All while being incredibly dusty. But hey, at least dusty means dry. The smell is gone. And this time, when I finished re-reading the sample, I closed my eyes. I could hear the soft rhythmic beat of a distant drum. It was matched by the metallic clinking of silver and turquoise bracelets of the gypsy queen. My face felt slightly flushed, and I could finally feel the sun on my cheeks.

Here's another sample.
If you're not familiar, I was writing an ad-lib story on here and incorporating all of the BHW staff. I got distracted and stopped. Eventually I'll get back into it. Here's my introduction of @Apricot into that story. I now imagine her to look like this whenever I speak to her or see her moderating!

Latest post of that story! (This is a link. There are many like it, but this one is mine.)

 

[Deleted member 855230]

It was one hell of a busy month for November.
Thanks to everyone who I've worked with! You've all been great!

For those of you who have been on the fence:
I am an artist. This service is not a puppy mill. I do not churn and burn.

Because of how busy you guys have kept me:
I will only be taking three more orders for the month of December!

Price change goes into effect starting January 1st.
It's the last time you'll see my prices this low.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

 

[Deleted member 855230]

In the spirit of hating people that bump their threads with sneaky tactics such as forcing their potential customers to bump the sales thread before services are rendered, with useless posts like "order placed," and "review copies please," I'm bumping my thread.

Hahahahahaha!!!

BUMP!!!

Merry Grinchmas Motherfuckers!

 

[Take Action]

Sent you a PM. Please get back to me.

 

[Deleted member 855230]

@Take Action Responded sir.

 

[davids355]

Reading the sales page and the reviews I am interested. Going to bookmark this for near future.

 

[puneetas3]

can you please pm amazon buying guides and product review samples and tat for 1k words. thanks

 

[JoachimvR]

First order placed: Transaction ID: ***9184WK0973029

 

[rubymooree]

please share me sample and skype, thx

 

[Deleted member 855230]

First order placed: Transaction ID: ***9184WK0973029

Hell yeah! Good stuff man.

can you please pm amazon buying guides and product review samples and tat for 1k words. thanks

Will send in the next day or two. Incredibly Busy.

please share me sample and skype, thx

copied from above: Will send in the next day or two. Incredibly Busy.

 

[Joe Flack]

I'm looking for a buyer's guide to some software. I don't need a quick TAT. PM me and I can see if it's your kind of topic?

 

[Deleted member 855230]

can you please pm amazon buying guides and product review samples and tat for 1k words. thanks

PM with samples sent.

please share me sample and skype, thx

PM with samples sent.

I'm looking for a buyer's guide to some software. I don't need a quick TAT. PM me and I can see if it's your kind of topic?

PM with samples sent.

 

[hippo123]

Update #1.
18th Dec 2017 - Order Placed. TAT promised to be before 30th.

30th Dec 2017 - TAT not met.

2nd Jan 2018 - Had to chase OP. New TAT of 4th Jan promised.

4th Jan 2018 - Radio silence. No article was given.

Extremely disappointing.

Considering that this is a rather premium service, I expected better. Instead, I had to constantly chase and get updates from OP. No communication was made to let me know of delays. Just radio silence.

Will continue to monitor and update the progress (if any).

 

[Deleted member 855230]

@hippo123

Here's the article. It was in it's final stage. Proof reading.

But then again, I guess I was not anywhere close to what you were expecting, because you were expecting a bunch of demonstration pictures as well. So, I guess it's a total shit show on my end.

Here's your refund. Paypal took a bite. Didn't expect that. Sorry.

 

[thetroglodyte]

(Disclaimer: Claim cannot be verified. I'm just one cocky son of a bitch!)

Because I'm a fucking wordsmith, not a mathmagician.

Actually, I'm good at everything I do, which is why I'm providing writing, and not accounting.

I read a WSO on how to be a guru, it was $47

Just a thread bump for you because that's the best damn sales copy I've ever read on here. Had me ROTFL. I rarely order articles but the next time I do, I'm giving you my business.

 

[Deleted member 855230]

Just a thread bump for you because that's the best damn sales copy I've ever read on here. Had me ROTFL. I rarely order articles but the next time I do, I'm giving you my business.

Thanks, but I’m going to close the doors. I’ve neglected a customer from being too much of a perfectionist between articles, and not vocal enough about it.

For those who were satisfied, thanks. For those who weren’t, I’m sorry. For those who are currently still in the queue, I’ll finish your orders as soon as possible.

@Zwielicht In order to confirm the somber spirit of this thread, Please close thread until further notice.

 

[Zwielicht]

Thanks, but I’m going to close the doors. I’ve neglected a customer from being too much of a perfectionist between articles, and not vocal enough about it.

For those who were satisfied, thanks. For those who weren’t, I’m sorry. For those who are currently still in the queue, I’ll finish your orders as soon as possible.

@Zwielicht In order to confirm the somber spirit of this thread, Please close thread until further notice.

You have to PM an admin to get a marketplace thread manually closed now.

 

[BHW-News]

*** Thread closed - OP request ***​

 

[Xalion]

Is this service still available?

 

[Deleted member 855230]

GUESS WHO'S RE-OPENED THEIR CONTENT THREAD...

Prices and Options Have Been Updated for Simplicity of Ordering, and Streamlined Writing - THIS IS 2018 FOLKS!
​

After receiving multiple requests from prominent members, I've changed to a VERY STRICT style of writing. I didn't understand, until one of my recent articles was published in Inc. Magazine. They require a very tight window of words, due to the attention span of the readers. So I have studied, I have honed, and I have returned, with three options.

​

What size articles am I writing?

Option 1: 750 Words - This is the standard sized magazine article. The article is short, sweet, and to the point. Although it's a quick read, it still comes from the master penmanship of my famous magazine quality writing. (okay it's only one publish, but I'm 100% successful with my 1 out of 1 attempt!) Generally used for an introduction into a topic or niche, due to their limited length. This article can be read in about 3 - 5 minutes.

Option 2: 1,250 Words - With an additional 500 words, the first article is now given wiggle room to explore quite a bit deeper into the topic. Once again a magazine definition of length, but reserved for the more interesting topics. Today's online attention span is about 17 seconds, so these articles MUST be covering interesting topics, or they're a waste of time and money. This article can be read in about 8-10 minutes.

Option 3: 2,500 Words - Unless an article is in a list format, this should almost ALWAYS be reserved for a niche with desperate consumers. Examples of desperation would be, weight loss, hair loss, job loss, to name a few. These are used to sell a fucking dream of a better future if - you act now! Would you like to know more?​

How much will this article cost? Get ready to lose your shit!

Option 1 - 750 Words - $100. It's close to $0.12/word. Sue me.

Option 2 - 1,250 Words - $175. That's close to $0.14/word. What the fuck?!

Option 3 - 2,500 Words - $400. HOLY...WHAT THE FUCK?!​

What Drugs Am I Smoking?!

My prices are a reflection of my caliber of writing. I strongly believe that I am only parallelled by one or two other writers on this forum. I can name the former, and I don't believe the latter even exists. I'll go ahead and leave you with this 1 minute audio gold. It was emailed to me by a client of mine. She has very impressive credentials. Harvard educated professor of strategic economics for 12 years, before being elevated into the C level world of businesses. She actively is on 14 boards of directors while being the chairman of two. I wanted to screencap the linkedin, but she said no, the audio would be fine.

(gotta follow the link, cant embed a soundcould)
https://soundcloud.com/user-649179765/content-writing-review

"Shut up and take my money!" - bhw users.

Well, grab those reins! With white knuckles, please do hold your fucking horses. I'm no Tijuana Twister. I do not bend over and contort to take anyone's offer, like some two bit hooker. I have rules and boundaries! I'm more like a New York City Penthouse escort. I am sensual. I want to get to know your order, and see if it's worth using my short little tyrannosaurus arms to seduce you as I lay down these words. I know you can't resist my writing, but I can. And I will.
​

tl;dr:

• To initiate the sales process, you need to contact me. In here, or in PM, doesn't matter too much.
• We will discuss expectations. It is at this point, that I will confirm or deny doing business with you.
• After we have determined the goals and expectations, you will need to pay 100% of the article, up front. This is because I refuse to chase people who dine and dash.
• I will research, write, and edit the article for accuracy.
• You will receive the article after my proofread has been confirmed.
• Revisions must be requested within three days of receiving article.
• There are no refunds, but I will work within reason to achieve your goal.
• You are paying for expertise, research, style, quality, and labor.