Need to make bread

$1000 a day need the money ASAP
I asked my neighbour and she says that the best way is bank robbery. Then I checked on Google, to know that it is not legit in all jurisdictions. I'm not sure though about all jurisdictions.
But, about making bread, I checked on YouTube and I found the following video quite helpful, though it is about banana bread, but it seems to be a method that is legit in all jurisdictions :-
 
ASAP? Sell a service, that's the fastest way.

But if you are asking this question, you probably don't have any skills.

so no asap, sorry
 
Borrow an AK47 - go to a bank - make a withdrawal.
Only ASAP method I can share.
 
Begging. Walk around streets, find 250 people who gives money each day.
 
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