Need 5K emails sent w/guaranteed inboxing

I have 5,000 varied email addresses and I need to send them a very simple straightforward legit message ASAP. These are NON-opt-ins and the list will be peppered with my own "secret" email addresses so that I can verify that they're getting through. Best price gets the deal.

Look! Up there ahead in the road... It's a BUMP!

Come on, don't tell me that there isn't anybody left on BHW that can get a few thousand emails out. Have we all surrendered to the evil grasp of (GASP) emailing legitimacy? Have the horrid ISPs beat us all into submission? Are we all obedient little mice marching in step from Aweber's flute? Show the world that there are still proud mavericks who are willing to toss away their wishywashy grays and nobly wear that BLACK HAT!