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My sad story

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by mrobeng, Aug 16, 2009.

  1. mrobeng

    mrobeng Registered Member

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    Hello BHW. I don't know where to begin or even what to write. I'm at a point in my life where I've come to contemplate ending it all. It's very sad and pathetic but yes I've thought of it a lot lately. I was born to parents who were not married to each other. My dad was married and my mom was a young single girl attracted to a relatively rich older man. I was basically a big accident as a result of two people having some casual fun affair. As a result I never lived with either parents until well into my teens. I spend my childhood being shipped amongst relatives. As a result, I've become this very introverted young man with no friends because I don't know how to relate to them. I've alignated myself from my sibblings and relatives. I now live with two people I called my friends who ended up forging my signature and using my checkbook to withdraw money from my account.

    Now that's just a brief background to my upbringing. There's a lot more to it but that's just a brief outline. I'm 26 now and have made big mistakes along the way that I regret a lot today. First of all, I graduated highschool with great grades. I then went to college but left after first year. I returned to college two more times since then but left both after first years. In all three cases, My introvert nature and my inablitlity to relate to friends made me left. I never felt like I belonged there. I then even got admission to a university in the USA and on the day of the visa appointment, I never turned up for the interview. This was because I couldn't put together all the documents I needed because I was counting on my friends' help with the documents. They couldn't deliver and I couldn't book another appointment cos what I had was an emergency appointment and you couldn't make another one for 6months.

    In early 2006, I started promoting livejasmin cams. Now I just run a ppv ad campaign and sent to traffic straight to livejasmin. It turned out to be very lucrative for me. I was spending $600/month on ads and making $2500+ average a month including the ad money. Now this was a very good return on investment for me and a very good income in the country I come from. Many top executives here wouldn't command a salary of more than $2000/month. I kept it like this for almost a year. I was satisfied with what I was making so I was just lazilly spending the money as it came in and doing nothing since everything was on autopilot. Livejasmin pays me, money goes into my epassporte account, ad company takes their monthly $600, and the cycle just went on. So one day, the ppv ad company just stopped my ads and said they no longer send traffic to livejasmin and I'm not allowed to continue bidding on my keywords because they've developed a special relationship with livejasmin. Yeah you know which ppv company I'm talking aobut. They didn't just stop my campaign at once. First the ads stopped converting even though it was same traffic nothing had changed.

    Yes still, I made over $30000 with livejasmin. Then I descovered the ebay affiliate program in 2007. I signed up with CJ and used USA as my country. That was the only way I could get into the Ebay affiliate program. I got into it and wrote to CJ to change my country because I was moving to a new country. It worked. At that time too, when you change your country, your advertisers don't automatically expire as they do now. So I set myself up to start promoting ebay. I did basically what I was doing with livejasmin. I created a ppv campaign and bid on ebay keywords and the ebay url itsefl and specific bages in ebay. It was an instant sucess. I was spending $800/month on ads and was averaging $8000/month in commissions. I even made $15000+ in December 2007. It was a really bewildering experience for me. I was making way more than I'd ever dreamed of and it was all 100% effortless. I had grown to be very lazy because the money was simply coming in without a hassle. It was an unbelievable income for this part of the world. CJ was always putting my account on hold for compliance investigation. They never had anything on me execpt that they didn't know how I was driving traffic so I'll just bitch and get paid in the end. I made over $80000 during my time promoting ebay. I used the same strategy and made aobut another $7000+ from Amazon before I was caught and my account closed on more than 3 occassions. CJ paid me everything though the last two months earnings became a protracted case but I was eventually paid the $26000 for the last two months. I promoted ebay for about 8months before I got an email from cj that ebay was terminating their partnership with me. I didn't cared cos I had money to spend. I had never imagined in my dreams I'll have all that money. I wanted to buy a house with the money but I kept spending the money on girls and electronics and partying. As I said I am a very big introvert so the money was what gave me confidence to be with girls and it was the only thing that made me had a girlfriend. I rented a new place for my girlfriend, paid her college tuition which was about $5000/year and gave her monthly allowances. I bought a used car for about $7000 and moved out of my dad's place to rent my own place. I liked the solitude of my own apartment so I wouldn't be dealing with many people on a dailly basis.

    A few months later, my gf and I broke up. She was actually 5yrs older than me and she had met this lawyer who promised to marry her so I was history. I loved her so much so I gave her $5000 as a parting gift. At this point I had virtually no income. I was only leaving on what I had made before. I was spending on average $2500/month. I was happy and enjoying life.

    Then in january this year, I had to move to a new apartment because the rent on the old one was too expensive. So I moved and I still had my internet connection. Now I'm paying $100/month for internet connection. A very slow one too. Things are very expensive here. a gallon of gas is over $5 here. I then met another girl whom I fell totally in love with. She lived in another city so it was going to be a LDR. I wanted to see her often so I'll travel to her every other week and stay in a hotel for 4nights on average. I'll give her money anytime I went to see her.

    I signed up for bhw in may this year when I realised I was soon going to run out of money and needed to start making money again. I haven't really made anything since then. All I've managed to do was get one ewhore ad to stick and got about 150+ responses and made $40 with CU. The biggest block in my path right now is not having a paypal account and my desire to make money quick. Back when I was making money with livejasmin and ebay, it was effortless and there was really no what involved. The only work involved was cashing the check. I don't have paypal and therefore can't buy a lot of the tools needed to get back in the game. I can't buy PVA's or proxies becaues all the people selling them accept paypal. I don't have a CC so that also is not an option. Leaving in my country really sucks. Now I've read enough here to make money but most of the ones that don't involve using CL and CPA's are methods that need patience and hard work. I haven't been accepted by any good cpa program because my country is a high risk country. CJ has closed my account since the ebay incident.

    Now I'm almost completely broke. All I have left to live on is $200 and my internet connection expires at the end of this month. My rent runs for just over a year from now. I don't have any friends and I can't go asking for family help because they don't have and I've alignated myself from them. My girlfriend has left me heart broken cos she's left now that I'm broke. I sold my car long ago and don't really have much assets left. I have shares in two companies valued at about $1500 together which will take at least 6months to sell because nobody buys shares on the stock market here.

    My situation right now is, I'm totally broke, have an internet connection that will expire in two weeks (I will uese $100 from the money I have to extend it for four more weeks). I eat once a day now and have lost a lot of weight because of that. I have nobody I can turn to. My girlfriend have left me and I'm very lonely. I will be out of cash very soon. I'm very emotionally disturbed. I can't get a job here because even with a university degree, it's extremely difficult to get a job. I know that because my brother recently spend 3yrs hunting for a job that paid him $200/month even though he is a chemical engineer. Life here is so difficult now. I see no light at the end of the tunnel and I've contemplated ending it all.

    I don't need anyone to have sympathy on me since I caused everything I'm going through now. Not completing college, not having enough sence to increase my ad spending when it was bringing in so much, and not putting the money I was making to good use. And not descovering this website earlier.

    I want someone who can put me to work or go into JV with. Also I live in a country where you can get away with spamming so if you know how to make money spamming and you live in the states and are afraid of getting cuaght, I can go into a JV with you. I just need something I can get by with for the next year or so whiles I build my long term income sources. Any help will be very much appreciated. I can do some work for you in exchange for CL PVAs or Proxies. I need a sturdy $600 - $800+ a month whiles I build my LT income.

    I know this has been a long post but if you can help, I'll appreciate it. And if anyone know how I can get paypal account fo non paypal country, please let me know. I'm desperate now and these dark thoughts have been crossing my mind a lot lately.
     
  2. soulchief

    soulchief Junior Member

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    Dont give up. Read the inspiration threads, start your own journal and to have people cheering you own. Would love to see an inspiration thread of your own in a few months saying how your making $1k a day..

    Good luck.

    Since you used to ewhore, go search for some new cam affiliate.. PussyCash is offering $150 per signup this month.
     
  3. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Most of the biggest earners here started FLAT broke (borderline homeless) and now they are breaking rubber bands trying to fit all those $100 bills.

    1. Ewhore for fast $$
    2. CL spam and harvest.

    Ewhore for CL pvas. OR go to your local university and library. I can send off 20 unflagged/unghosted ads from my uni. Myspace ewhore and you'll be up to $100+ per day in 1 week.

    Good luck.
     
  4. trushafty38

    trushafty38 Regular Member

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    My rep is ruined! lol
    Honestly, I want my five min back. You could have made that a lot shorter. like Hey I have made mistakes and now im hurting for money. I have experience in a,b,c,d and im looking for a JV. Just keep you chin up and make that money. You have hussled in the past. Do it again. Next time save some money. Learn from your mistakes. Life goes on. You only get one shot at life so make it good. Learn from your mistakes.

    and on a side note. If you did not realize it from your story. You were most likely played by that girl and possibly more. Girls that want money are no good. Dont give any girl any money. Any of you blackhatters. If they want to go to school let them or their fucking moms pay for it. You are not their fathers from arkansas. I dont give a shit if you get the pussy or not. Unless you are married don't invest shit into a women except maybe the occasional dinner and movie. Hell, even now a days they should be paying for some of that shit.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  5. soulchief

    soulchief Junior Member

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    shafty, your a fucking tool, get the fuck out. Dont start making the OP even more miserable after a post like his, after you know what he is thinking of.
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2009
  6. micc

    micc Registered Member

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    sorry to hear your story, but what country are you from?
     
  7. mrobeng

    mrobeng Registered Member

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    Sorry for the long post. I was really very low and just wanted to say something.
     
  8. sddk

    sddk Junior Member

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    Is this a BHW thread? this is a statement from the press.. :D work a journalist for any newspaper you'll get some ca$h..

    Forget the past, try to renew everything in your life, you can find a job and start working again, and in the same time try to work in something more important in IM (CPA, PPC...).
    simplify any problem, resolve it directly or forget it.. whatever the days of this life continue and we have the chance everytime.. I was in situations harder than yours.

    Just try something more valuable in IM (long term).. avoid ewhore and cams offers...
    Good luck.
     
  9. mrobeng

    mrobeng Registered Member

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    Thanks for all the encouragement and kind words. It's pretty late here so I'm going to bed now but I hope to wake up in the morning feeling better and prepared to try caving out a new life for myself.
     
  10. Alex Brooks

    Alex Brooks BANNED BANNED

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    If your working full time IM, you CAN make $1000/a month, there are PLENTLY of people here, not even gurus who are making $100/per day, so 1/3 of that should be a challange, but possible working full time.

    Keep your chin up mate, things will get better.
     
  11. greenovni

    greenovni Regular Member

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    SO exactly what do you need help with? I have time and live in the US if that can help you.
     
  12. gbmack

    gbmack Power Member

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    1. "Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future."

    I realized the part where you said " I was spending $2500 a month and living life and was happy" This clearly states that when you had money, you were happy. Now that you don't have money, you are not happy.

    Stop bringing in so many variables, such as "not going to college, gf broke up with me, parents didn't raise me, etc."

    You were clearly happy with money. The solution to the mess? Make money.

    2. Do a JV with someone who has a DP account with a high itrader. Split profits 50/50. Fast money.

    If you're really desperate, get a 9-5 job.
     
  13. lonny41

    lonny41 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I can tell you never had a good male role model in your life, someone strong you could look up to and teach you how to be a man for christsakes.

    Guys that grow up like this always exhibit the same symptoms, getting fucked over by women (Just ask wtfpwnsyou, a constant fucking saga), being scared shitless of everyone, not fitting in, and being depressed when they feel powerless.....which is pretty much all the fucking time.



    I see it again and again in this world and it pisses me off, but it's not too late, because you're still alive.

    So things were good, and you were happy, now they are bad, and you wanna die.

    You got lucky to a point, with your success. You're obviously smart so I'm not taking that from you. Things just went your way for a long time, now they suck.

    Here's what you do, pick yourself up out of the puddle of shit you've been bathing in, self pity is comfortable, but only for awhile, now get out. It blinds you and you can't see opportunities in front of you, self pity fogs up your mind.

    If I was your male role model to look up to I'd tell you this and tell you to grow a set of nuts and learn to be a man. Then I'd break my boot off in your ass.

    No offense, but lots of people have sad stories, so what, you succeeded before, that means you can again, you just need to unfog that brain of helplesness and get motivated.

    That's what a man would do. So grow up.
     
  14. pr0xy

    pr0xy Regular Member

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    He's right every one has a sad story. But GL man and never spend that much money on a bitch.
     
  15. lucius

    lucius Power Member

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    If you don't have a credit card, how were you paying for the PPV ads ?
     
  16. abhi1

    abhi1 Power Member

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    I won't bitch about what you did wrong and how dumb you were with girls, but here is what you can do to stay in the game for a couple more month:

    1) Do a niche research. Find a niche that POPULAR and affiliate developing websites/blogs around them.

    2) Do a keyword research and buy a keyword rich domain and free hosting at hostgator for 3 months (websitemag coupon)

    3) Write 20-25 articles on that niche. Post 80% of them in your website/blog and 20% for marketing.

    4) Promote. Submits articles, linkwheels, social bookmarking, video responses, auto pligg, blog commenting and bla bla bla. You will need tools for all this which you can find around everywhere.

    5) Once you have 800-1000 UV a day, list the blog/site at flippa for $$500-$1K. It would sell off in 2 weeks tops.

    It's simple and it works. Get working
     
  17. eurgbp

    eurgbp Regular Member

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    amen to that all
     
  18. halfbrainj

    halfbrainj Newbie

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    I hope you are not full of S**t! I have come to realize, most of the stories are taken from fucken Telemundo sop operas. Once you start collecting sympathetic fools, you are going to begin spaming them with crappy offers.
     
  19. Sanitarium

    Sanitarium Regular Member

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    I guess making love to your eyes since you're read
    Location:
    In your mind.
    Sometimes people leave out important info inside these stories, the parts where they screwed people over etc, that's what I think.

    Hope things get better for you OP, but people should never forget, this post is nothing more than you freeing yourself, which is the best start.

    But if you have your health you're better off than a lot of people.

    Sounds like you were chasing money, what a lot of people do, they post pics of it etc and think it means anything, and when they get more and more they realize there's nothing to do but spend it.

    If you put cash above your monitor to motivate you make sure there's a pic above it of something meaningful, and no i don't mean that girl.
     
  20. kumansk

    kumansk Regular Member

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    Mate if you have $20 create a nice product with a few videos and pdfs, get a nice sales copy with a few testimonials and sell it as a wso for $17. You can make $600-800 a week easily. I made over $1k in like 5 days on a simple one. At the same time work on ewhoring and stuff as the guy above me stated for example pussycash is paying $150 per sign up. Find 1 guy per 2 days and youll have enough money to get back on your feet.